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Black_tea
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20 Jan 2011, 7:01 pm

Sure, it can be annoying and pointless, but what makes it harder than having a deep conversation?



Technikilor
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20 Jan 2011, 7:04 pm

Pretty much just because it seems annoying and pointless (though it isn't, really, when you think about it). Most aspies need more depth to their discussion as it generally makes them feel more comfortable.



Verdandi
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20 Jan 2011, 7:12 pm

I can't connect to small talk very well at all. I can fake it, but I don't enjoy it, nor do I even enjoy faking it. I drift out of conversations entirely when they focus on superficial things. I don't have to specifically talk about my interests, but at least talking about things with some consequence is easier to connect with and contribute to.



TeaEarlGreyHot
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20 Jan 2011, 7:18 pm

For me, it's because the conversation seems so random and unpredictable. The rules of said interaction tend to change from minute to minute.


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buryuntime
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20 Jan 2011, 7:21 pm

I don't understand it.

It involves lying.



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20 Jan 2011, 7:21 pm

It's stupid.


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Mindslave
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20 Jan 2011, 7:27 pm

Well, how deep does a conversation have to be before it's no longer small talk?



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20 Jan 2011, 7:29 pm

1. Doesn't give me pleasure
2. It's pointless.
3. I have better things to do than to socialize.
4. I lost interest after I learned how to socialize right.
5. I'm a lot happier in this situation being isolated.
6. I won't miss doing it so often one bit.



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20 Jan 2011, 7:31 pm

Because it's boring. I wanna talk about what interests me, not your new handbag or whatever.



MeloJag
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20 Jan 2011, 7:53 pm

Its not that I dont enjoy it, but its frustrating because its extremely difficult to do no matter how hard I try. If I was able to do it at least decently, I think It would be fun.



vileseagulls
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20 Jan 2011, 7:54 pm

I like small talk - it's good to know what's going on in people's lives - you strengthen friendships, make people feel you're a nice person, gives you something to refer back to later (e.g. "is your partner feeling better"). All of which builds a foundation so later you get to have deeper conversations with that person.



Verdandi
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20 Jan 2011, 7:57 pm

I don't think stuff like "My partner is sick/injured" is really small talk. I think small talk is talking strictly for the purpose of talking, probably to signal to the people in the conversation that you're friendly and approachable.

I understand this intellectually, but I feel like to actually participate and respond there needs to be substance.



MeloJag
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20 Jan 2011, 7:58 pm

vileseagulls wrote:
I like small talk - it's good to know what's going on in people's lives - you strengthen friendships, make people feel you're a nice person, gives you something to refer back to later (e.g. "is your partner feeling better"). All of which builds a foundation so later you get to have deeper conversations with that person.


Very true. Small talk serves a very good purpose and from what I see can be alot of fun. I think its our our inability or poor ability to execute it is what makes many of us not like it.



emjay89
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20 Jan 2011, 8:00 pm

Because we can't think on the spot.

Think about it, unless the question is really obvious (i.e "What do you do for a living?") we're going to be thinking for 20, maybe 30 seconds about how to answer.

That's why I'm no good at job interviews unless I spend the week before trying to anticipate every question they could ask and rehearsing it



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20 Jan 2011, 8:02 pm

Its also a little uncomfortable. I tend to have a lot of unnatural pauses as I try to scramble to either keep the conversation alive or to answer the person on what their saying.



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20 Jan 2011, 8:04 pm

It's too hard to think of nothing to say. :P