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Joined: 17 Jan 2011
Age: 37
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,194
Location: Newcastle, England.

22 Jan 2011, 8:25 pm

I need clarification.

I am right in thinking this is the wrong way of approaching someone...

Guy on another Autism/Asperger's forum came to my rescue and stuck-up for me in a discussion, I sent him a message via privet message to say thank you, now I happened to notice he was quite cute....[oh god, here we go]...very attractive in fact, he also had a link to his MySpace, confirmed he is cute, in the UK like me, and into cool music. I found his Facebook profile [I swear I'm not stalking him, really] also seemingly similar interests to me and generally seems very cool.

Problem - he's not replied to my privet message or even been on that forum since, it's been a few weeks, and looks like he may not return, if that was not the case it may have been an 'in' if he had replied then I could have gotten a conversation going [or at least I'd like to think I could]. I can meet hundreds of people and not be able to talk to them, but I can meet one person and be able to talk to them just like anyone else would - I can't explain why this is, he does fall into the latter category I think, and not just because he's a cute boy :wink:

I'm kind of guessing it would NOT be appropriate to randomly add him on MySpace or Facebook, or pop him a quick privet message on either of these social networking sites to jokingly imply I've been stalking him online. Am I right here?

This post is half serious and half joking.
No one ever gets my sense of humour, so just pointing that out now just in case it's not clear that I'm not actually stalking this guy and I at least understand contacting him may be a little strange, just wondering how strange.

Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker

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Joined: 3 Oct 2010
Age: 51
Gender: Male
Posts: 53

22 Jan 2011, 9:01 pm

If you are a female, I don't think you can be considered a stalker until AFTER the guy breaks up with you. It's way too early in the relationship to worry about it.

Thought is just part of a world that's shaped out of feeling


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Joined: 4 Jun 2010
Age: 32
Gender: Male
Posts: 19
Location: DE

23 Jan 2011, 2:03 am

Go for it. Find him any way you can. If he thinks it's weird or doesn't really like you now you know and can forget about him. But there is a chance that he wanted you to contact him and rushed to thinking that you didn't. I know I've stood up for people, especially girls, many times, and not one of them ever said thank you, and I would love someone to show that they really want to see me. And you're not a stalker, don't worry about that.

Right. This. Minute. Don't think about, just do it.

Blue Jay
Blue Jay

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Joined: 15 Dec 2010
Age: 40
Gender: Male
Posts: 78
Location: Harrison Twp., MI

23 Jan 2011, 12:46 pm

You should probably add him as a friend to your Facebook, and then try seeking others. I would say it is unwise to put your hope for a response entirely in one person. You can find love from many others out there.