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jmnixon95
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22 Jan 2011, 9:45 pm

I'm not sure if I should ask this question on this site, but I have received a couple of messages from a couple of new users that both concluded with, "Do you want to be my friend?" (or some other variation of the phrase.) I am questioning the whether or not I should ask this on the site because, well, there's always the possibility that those specific users read this post...
But, I'll give it a go.


I don't really know how to respond to this question because:

a) I don't desire any friends, despite having about six or seven
and
b) I don't think writing a paragraph about yourself constitutes the initiation of the friendship


I'm sorry if I sound rude or impolite in this message, but I don't really know how to respond to that question. In real life, teenage and adult NTs aren't so explicit. At least, where I am. So, I have not been taught how to respond to this question because, well, it's not necessary because it is rarely asked.
And the truth is, "No." Then, if I ignore them, that might be even more impolite.


?



Peko
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22 Jan 2011, 9:56 pm

Would you be open to the idea of internet chat buddies? I personally try to keep my online and offline lives separate as much as is possible. You could try responding with being willing to chat/talk with the messengers and being willing to get to know them if you don't want to ignore the messages.


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League_Girl
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22 Jan 2011, 11:28 pm

"yes" or "no."


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auntblabby
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23 Jan 2011, 12:44 am

i would be a friend to those who would want me for a friend.



gaamoo
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23 Jan 2011, 2:11 am

You should have mentioned you are a 15-year-old girl. :) I wouldn't be surprised if some of those friend requests were guys who want to get to know you better. I suggest that even if you don't want any friends you try to give their profile a look or engage them a bit before deciding. See, maybe you don't want friends but you may want to talk to Josh or Michelle or whoever it is, and you just haven't met a friend like that yet.

But if you really, truly want to tell them off, just say "Sorry, I'm not interested." Simple and efficient.



BeauZa
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23 Jan 2011, 9:35 am

I'd assume that the common goal among Aspies is to make a friend with like interests, when it comes to searching for these, understanding that this may not be Ms. OP's situation.
Nonetheless you may want to consider the common interests present before subscribing to any friendships.



bee33
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23 Jan 2011, 6:49 pm

I find it sort of odd that you don't want friends. My guess is that the people who wrote to you are just not people you could see forming a friendship with, and perhaps you feel uncomfortable being put on the spot like that. Some people are just lonely and awkward, and they may have thought from your posts (I don't know, since I don't remember any specific post you've written) that you might be open to a friendship with them. If you're just not interested, you can tell them so, gently and politely.



Moog
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23 Jan 2011, 7:08 pm

I would always like to be friends rather than not, though the extent of my activities in regard to sustaining and maintaining that friendship may vary. Usually it's a self correcting thing.

So I'd just say yeah, and then let the rhythm of interaction sort itself out.

As an adult, friendships don't usually start with a statement of intentional befriending, or this is my experience. I just fall into relationships with people.


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jmnixon95
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23 Jan 2011, 8:04 pm

bee33 wrote:
I find it sort of odd that you don't want friends.


?



Oren
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23 Jan 2011, 8:08 pm

That's why you get a "delete" button in your PM box.


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jmnixon95
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23 Jan 2011, 8:09 pm

Oren wrote:
That's why you get a "delete" button in your PM box.


I don't mind a large majority PMs, though.



bee33
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23 Jan 2011, 8:14 pm

jmnixon95 wrote:
bee33 wrote:
I find it sort of odd that you don't want friends.


?
Well, since you already have a few friends you must have wanted to be friends with them? Or do you just want to be a hermit? Most people need at least a small amount of social interaction.