Stigma is what's limiting us with relationships

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Here's an interesting experiment about the stigma towards people with mental health issues. Disappointing but I'm not surprised

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CUzHK97wdWw[/youtube]

I couldn't get past the 4:15 mark as the video was just pissing me off. What a dumb experiment. Of course people are going to react poorly if you tell them you have "a mental health issue". That sounds like something so bad you aren't even willing to put it in writing. If he had told them he suffers from depression there would have been a very different outcome, but then he could not feel sorry for himself and the producers couldn't put video of him riding his screwy bike in traffic over sad music.

How disingenuous.

Seems at heart everyone wants an aryan

I've known quite a few people who have depression & 1ce they tell potential praters that they have depression or that they are on meds for it; people lose interest. It's like this for people with physical disabilities as well. I've gotten messages on sites from women who quit replying as soon as I mentioned that I have low vision.

LOW VISION? Seriously? How bad is your vision?

Just watched some of the video. "mental health" is a pretty broad term. If someone I was considering moving in with revealed they had mental health problems without saying what, even I would be less likely to pursue it. And I have mental health problems myself (OCD, depression, social anxiety). Especially women - they're gonna be more likely to be concerneed about their safety.

Alos, does he just respond with "hi, btw I'm also mentally ill"?

I mean if that's the only thing he responds with (and he can't have said much else if he's responding to so many people) then of course you're gonna respond negatively

+1

Not that it specifically angered me, just that it seemed like a really odd thing for him to do just to say "I have a mental illness"

I had to laugh, one person asked "Are we talking depression or kill me in the middle of the night?" - lol, I think thats exactly what everyone was after. Mental illness ranging from anxiety/depression/ocd to psychotic killer - its a pretty big span.

I think if he'd put out that it was depression he would have likely had less trouble with flat mates than with women on the site, reason being I think is because, aryan or otherwise, most girls (ok..I'll be specific: mainstream NT's) want a goofy and upbeat guy who's excited about life and doesn't take things seriously. Goofy and upbeat usually doesn't go hand in hand with struggles of that nature. Girls with a bit of depression, OCD, or anxiety might of course have a different reaction.

I watched it all the way through, and I pretty much agree with what MidlifeApie said.

This was contrived and involved him giving this very vague information to people who had never met him and who were looking at various options in terms of a flat share or a prospective partner. In each of those scenarios people will be faced with a range of choices, and it's hardly suprising that they would be put off by something which is potentially problematic. If he had said that the flat was situated above a noisy pub, that would also have been a deterent to potential flat mates, and if he'd said that he was currently involved in acrimonious divorce proceedings that would have put off potential partners. Why would people look for trouble when they don't have to, and don't have the real life experience of him to be able to make a more nuanced judgement.

Also, the way he described it as "mental health problems" did sound quite ominous. As one of those who responded said, were these problems "depression or stab-you-in-the-middle-of-the-night"?

It is also possible that at least some of those who were deterred by his disclosure already had experience of living with or being in a relationship with someone who had mental health problems. In fact, one of the women did say as much and that she really wasn't looking to go through that again. I think that it's not uncommon for people who do have depression or whatever, to underestimate the impact that can have on those who are close to them.

There are two women in my church who have been friends for many years and share a house. One of them is bi-polar, and she has spoken about times she has been aggressive towards her friend, sometimes physically pinning her against a wall and shouting in her face. That woman has a great deal of self-awareness now, but it took some years to develop. For a long time, she said she simply wasn't aware of how badly she treated her friend, and how it affected her.

So, overall, yes. Very contrived and seemingly made with the object of garnering a negative reaction. Disappointing, as there is stigma, but this wasn't a real or valid exploration of it.

I disagree with the bolded statement. Only a small minority of people with mental health issues are a danger to others and therefore people who think it must be bad are making their own assumptions. In fact that's precisely the point being made the experiment. The fact that his responses dropped 79% simply because. That's what he mentioned that he had a mental health issue already shows that their's a stigma against people with mental health issues and that people make assumptions.

It's the same thing if you mention having AS in a dating profile. People who don't know everything about what AS is will make assumptions and decide to give a it a skip. That's what I've been trying to say to people who say I should mention AS in my profile.

I have also read one of those Cassandra women say "It's common for people with Asperger's to underestimate the effect it has on people around them". What would you say to that?

Also, remember that the guy has gotten his depression under control and he is being treated. Be careful what you say about what you say about people with mental health problems.

You are absolutely rite. I didn't know how to explain it which is why I didn't say much. Lots of people make assumptions without even inquiring for more info which only proves there is a stigma. The women who replied to him saying she'd been in a realtionship before was assuming that other people with mental health issues were like her ex. Not everything is the same.

Huh?

No one's attacking the guy personally (or ayone with mental health issues - hell aren't most of us here f****d up?)

They're saying it's understandable for someone to be cautious, given the way that the guy revealed it

1. If it's something like depression, an eating disorder or OCD, then I dodn't see why you should even need to mention that

2. The term "mental health problem" SOUNDS suspicious. Why not say "I've have suffered from depression" or sometihng?

3. The way he revealed it would be weird. He can't have spent loads of time writing out long replies to all these peoplle, as there were so many. So wouldn't you be a bit weirded out if you responded to them and then just got back a reply from them telling you they forgot to mention it but they have "mental health problems"?

Last edited by Volodja on 28 Jan 2011, 7:34 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I think it's sad. Sometimes judgments come from bad experience and also some people are afraid of going through the same issues again they vow to never dating or being around someone with that problem ever again.

I would have just asked what does he mean after telling me he has a mental health problem. To me it's just too vague and doesn't tell me anything. Sadly lot of people didn't even ask what mental health problem he has.

I have seen people say bad things about AS but you know what, I figure maybe they are basing it on their experience and maybe they have been with an aspie or knew someone with it and that is where their view comes from and their generalizations. Instead of being pissed off or offended by it, I find it sad for the person. Sad they had a bad experience it gave them a negative view about us.


I think the man did it all intentionally because it was an experiment and he was showing how many people jump to assumptions when you mention you have a mental health issue than mentioning what specific one you have. But it was still sad because it showed how bad things are.

Well, the point is, why should the term "mental health problem" sound suspicious if the majority of people with mental health problems are not a danger to other people? See what I'm getting at? It's what people think of when they see that term and I would still put that down to assumption.

I think that having less social intuition than an infant, coupled with odd-looking body language, is what's limiting us.