My family makes dating seem embarrassing, bad, disgraceful

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I have never been in a relationship outside of one "I really love this person" (said person cheated with my best friend...ex-bestfriend) and several flings online (online dating sooo doesn't count imo, because I was young and intrigued by the FANTASY of love only to find myself trying to cultivate a relationship with immature little boys XD)

But my point is I am an adult now and I feel I have the right to want to be loved and love in return in the most innocent regards and beyond, everyone does. Well, my family makes dating/love/relationships seem like some kind of sick dirty thing that needs to be made fun of CONSTANTLY and ridiculed and downright degraded. The only person that understands my feelings on this is my sister, she is 23 and is just now breaking out of her shell and playing the field to the fullest extent. At first I was shocked to learn about her new lifestyle, but in truth it is more shocking that I should find it even remotely shocking as she is 23 years old!

My mother is VERY immature about it, and pokes fun at my sister's relationships and tastes in men all the time, and it definatly
makes my sister as uncomfortable as it makes me.

I want to start dating and "living" my life, as well. But the whole family seems to make relationships seem embarrassing or something to want to hide and feel ashamed of...

I told my mother and sister about someone I have a crush on and my mom started making her little wise cracks and such like "How many times are you going to say this guy's name?" And even though she didn't mean anything by that sentence it kind of stung...like....am I not allowed to want to express my feelings towards a guy? Is it wrong to want to share my thoughts and giggle over a crush with my own family???

Now I'm making a serious effort not to say the name again, even though she and my sister talk about their crushes a lot, too...

I don't understand, is it wrong to want a relationship and is wrong to want to talk to someone I trust about crushes and relationships and all that? I couldn't imagine talking to my mother about sex, she had a field day with my sister on that little subject and makes it a point to say something snide about it whenever my sister stays at someone's house or something like that....gah this is so weird and confusing >.>'

Our mothers sound separated at birth. My mother was a very jealous and paranoid woman. She'd go out of her way to kill my happiness for the sake of killing my happiness. While I don't think she really was an evil person in her heart, I believe her warped perceptions (likely brought on by mental illness she refused to have diagnosed and treated) helped her believe such negativity that justified awful, awful behavior. She made life very difficult at times.

Assuming you've had a direct discussion with her about this problem and she's refused to acknowledge and/or change, you're going to have to ignore your mother like your ignore a bully and share as little information with her as possible. That's about all you can do.

Or, use measured disclosure. Be kind of brief and self-respecting about what you tell your mother.

And it sounds like your sister is a potential resource, as far as honest conversation.

Your mother may have had bad experiences with men and assume that all men are that way. Not the case. Some men are. Some aren't.