LGBT People, Curious, Tourists, Gawkers, Trolls and Haters

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It would seem that the purpose of this subforum is for LGBT people who are on the ASD spectrum, and those who might be questioning these aspects of them/our-selves. Since this subforum started, I have seen some hope, fulfilling the promise of LGBT people on the ASD spectrum helping others.

Sadly, I have also seen derogatory comments as well. If you have valid and respectful questions about LGBT issues, then this subforum would seem to be the area in which to ask them, but if you are coming to this subforum to express an opinion that serves no purpose but to hurt others or make broad generalizations about a group of people for which you are not a member, then I say don't.

I would hope that moderators would need to encourage respect. Should that respect be higher than in any other subforum --no, but there is a greater chance here of people working to disrespect others. It's one thing to make the subforum; it's another to make it work as it should.

There are Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Androgynous. Transgendered, and Transsexual people in the real world and on the ASD spectrum. The people who post here might be your brothers, your sisters, your parents, your best friends, your family, or maybe even an advocate who might help obtain and secure the rights of ASD people, for the struggle of the ASD people to someone who is GLBT might be a familiar one, just as Charles reminds me that that the struggle for Aspies is like the struggle for racial equality to him.

I have locked the thread on transsexuality before it causes any more confusion or upset. I believe that the thread is not appropriate for this forum and should not have been placed here.

I was one of those who advocated for the creation of this forum directly with Alex. Here were my comments a few weeks ago in the moderator forum in a discussion about the proposed creation of the forum:

It is apparent to me that there are a lot of gay/bi members of WP. At the moment there doesn't seem to be anywhere that they can discuss issues amongst themselves. Issues not necessarily of a romantic (L&D) nature but simply of being gay and being on the spectrum. Issues such as coming out to family, friends and colleagues, issues they face of discrimination and of acceptance. Sharing advice on how and where to seek employment if they are "visibly" gay (camp) etc. It think an LGBT forum would be a place where gay members could talk freely and supportively amongst themselves. I don't know what other issues are likely to be discussed (I'm not gay) but I think it would turn into a sort of cross between the L&D forum and the Haven and the Random discussion forum but with a unique flavour all of its own. Intuitively I think it would likely be less rowdy than L&D, but that is just intuition not a certainty!

I take what you say about how additions change the nature of WP. I think it was quite brave to add the forum for other psychological conditions. Inviting schizophrenics etc to join the community certainly caused some controversy. I can't say I necessarily thought it was a good idea at the time but WP hasn't imploded since! Interestingly it has made it easier for existing members to talk about other issues they have.

I think that it would helpful if there were a FAQ and posting guidelines to remind people to be respectful --even concerning sensitive topics.

If you would like to put together such a posting guidelines sticky I will ask Alex to look at it and if he is agreeable it can be posted as a sticky. Note that Alex has to approve stickies regarding the site rules / guidelines. I suggest you keep it fairly short, to the point, helpful and informative.

Regarding the FAQ I can create a sticky for you now if you like and the members could add to it themselves? Or would you like to handle that some other way?

Here is what I am proposing (V1)

LGBT Subforum Etiquette

Making hateful and derogatory comments about groups of people you are not a member of is ban-worthy, and your post might be deleted as not to offend others.

Using derogatory or slanderous terms for others outside your group is not allowed.

Making threats toward others because of their sexual preference or gender role or status is likely illegal.

The primary purpose of LGBT subforum is that people will help one another, not find dates with one another.

Asking questions to better understand others is a good means to a better understanding. If you are mature enough to ask a question, please be mature enough to accept the answer. If you don't want to know something, don't ask about it.

Making broad generalizations about groups of people you are not a member of or their actions of is frowned upon; this is prejudice. One person is not all.

Please try to use appropriate language.

What do all of these abbreviations and terms mean?

Heterosexual, hetero, or straight: A person who is attracted to the opposite sex of their own.

Gay or Homosexual: A person who is attracted to the same sex as their own. The terms are often applied more for men than women, but these terms work for both.

Lesbian: A female person who is attracted to another female.

Bi or Bisexual: A person who attracted to either males or females.

Poly, Polyamourous: A person who is attracted or has relationships to more than one person at once.

Asexual: A person who generally is not being intimate in a sexual way, and/or not in a physical relationship with anyone.

Androgynous, Androgyne: A person having both female and male attributes or aspects, whether as far as the body goes, lifestyle, or gender role.

TG, Transgender, Transgendered: A person living in a gender role opposite of the expected birth role.

Genderqueer: catch-all terms for a person with gender identities other than man and woman.

TS, Transsexual: A person who has altered their body through hormonal or surgical means.

Intersexed: A person born with primary or secondary characteristics that are undifferentiated, or are both male and female.

I wasn't happy with what they said in that thread either, and left that thread alone from there. I might not have read much of what was put. (Maybe that's a good thing, given how I react.)

"eew. I think so and so is ugly! Don't you?! Let's go tell them how ugly and disgusting they are!" When confronted... "I was just expressing an oppinion."
It kind of comes across like that to me. They don't need to say such offending things. Yes, just like a little school yard bully doing that.

I welcome feedback about the FAQ proposal.

I don't think that locking threads is the answer as much as deleting offending posts and banning offenders is. An offender will take from that, that any GLBT thread can be locked by spewing offensive remarks.

It's LGBT subforum may be where ASD people go to help and be helped with GLBT issues, or where people are concentrated to be hurt by others, and Wrongplanet will choose exactly where it places itself on that continuum.

Generally speaking, I don't understand why you include all of the "group you are not a member of" caveats in the FAQ. Why would it be OK to post things that are hateful, derogatory, broad generalizations, etc. when you happen to be part of the group? My biggest problem with it is that it gives the haters an out. If you call them on anything, they can just claim to be LGBT (who's going to go verify!), and they are obeying the rules.

"Using derogatory or slanderous terms for others outside your group is not allowed. "

It is good to poke fun at 'straights' and ourselves alike.

but when it becomes derogatory meaning?
and slanderous meaning?

I guess I needed to find something to add

Dating is a interesting segment, as we are all similar with same interests, and in small number, I think or hope people are wanting to get to know each other more, in friendship.

Gayaspie.com has a few threads to look at, maybe we can work together.

I have a Where in the World section, for dating and relating geographic stories.

To make sure that the basics needs are covered, because sexuality is also being discussed, and because there will be people with ranges of experience and age, I thought it might be good to create an environment where everyone isn't being hit on all the time. Perhaps adding something like this might help:

"Dating needs would be better served by such as sites as http://www.AspieAffection.co and www.GayAspie.com."

If I can I'm going to add it. If there are objections, I will remove it.