learning to lie

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Hey there,
just wondering if anyone else has learnt to lie..........i mean with things like when people ask "how are you?" and you say fine.....even though your not, or when you lie through omission......like when you don't put your opinion or story forward cause you just can't be bothered or dont want to disscuss it anyways......
any one else experienced this??
I have a friend who likes to gossip, and I have stoped telling her stuff cause I just don't want others to know......sometimes it hurts, cause Im busting inside to talk about it to her,(some bad news I have recieved lately) but she can't keep her mouth shut, so I have no option......
What do others think?? or do...in this situation.....
Thanks,
verticalmum..

My family unit was based on lying and emotional black mail to get what you wanted. In short I am so good at it that I don't even know I am lying sometimes. Just like anything else it was a learned behavior.

Yes. I can fake emotion too. People tell me I'm a terrible liar though. I'm probably not good at faking emotion either.

I dunno, in some situations, lying can be an option. I prefer to just avoid the issue, though. So, lying by omission, I guess. Before it comes to that, though, why not just have a good talk with her? Tell her that you don't want to lie to her and say you're fine when you're not. But at the same time, you don't want the whole world knowing. If she's your friend, she'll listen.

Thanks for the replys,
Nerdykid, thats no good about your family. Yep, Im learning how to lie....unfortunately.

syrella, yeah, I suck at lying.....over the phone is easier than face to face,but, still....I hate having to do it.
I wish I could have a good talk to her about it, I know she would understand, but then when she has a few drinks she forgets.....so yeah, its kinda hard.
Thanks for your replys.....

I never felt comfortable with the "I'm fine" answer when I'm not, so I side step it. I answer something like, "I'm here" or like on Jan 3rd, I said, "best day so far this year".

I can lie like when people ask me how I am even though I want to tell them the truth and when they ask me about an outfit or a new haircut. I usually just rehash the same old lines. "Nice", "that's great" or the age appropriate 'cool.' I remember when I was younger and someone asked me about an outfit and I'd say 'I don't know. I really didn't know anything about that type of style. It was less rude than saying I didn't like it but I truly didn't know.

I don't think of it as a lie. I think of it as a ritual. If someone waves at me, I wave back. If someone says "how are you?" to me, I say "Good. How are you?" back. It's just a ritual, not communications.

My problem is dealing with new or unusual greetings. I hate that.

I agree- it IS a ritual. It's like saying "Good morning". To quote the movie Ben X: "People never say 'bad morning',"

Just say you're well. As long as you're not sick there is no conflict.

I phrase things differently.

My boss saw my phone on my checkstand (we are not allowed to text). I simply told him I use it to track the time. It's no lie.

I do this a lot.

There are other examples but I can't think of them off hand.

In general I hate to lie. When I do lie, people seem to believe it though.

I hate to admit it, but I am very good at lying by omission. It was a necessary survival skill as I was growing up. My parents had boundary issues. The only way that I could get any privacy was to appear as uninteresting as possible.

My face is always a blank mask and I'm very creative, so I lie very well. I pretended to be religious for two years, went to church three times a week, talked about it, etc, no one ever suspected anything.

I frequently act like a defense lawyer. I will provide you only basic information required without lying.

Yes, I can do that.
It's not lying to say "I'm fine" to "How are you", because in most cases "How are you" doesn't actually mean "I am interested in how you are and how you have been in recent times"; it means "Since you are another human being, I am going to acknowledge your presence and seem friendly". Answering "I'm fine" is just following the script.

I never had to learn to lie. It came to me naturally. I used to make up stories as a kid and I used to lie to try and stay out of trouble but it never worked. It rarely did.


I can lie to the small talk questions, I never felt like telling my life story because I didn't want to talk so I'd say I was fine to get it over with so they shut up. Turns out that's what they wanted to hear after all. They don't want to hear how you really feel.

I never outright lie, as in make a statement that is not true.
I have, under certain situations, lied by omission if I feel it is necessary to mislead someone. I rarely do this.