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Merculangelo
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23 Feb 2011, 7:39 pm

I have just been told by one of my professional helper people that I need to find a Coach, someone to talk to and sort of keep me on track in practical ways on a weekly basis. Mostly ADHD but some Asperger issues as well. But unfortunately, that was really the only hint I was given...I don't know where to start.

Thus, my question:

Does anyone know how to find a "Coach" like this?

I'm cynical about those mentor organizations that pair people up. I have encountered some of those pairings and it seems like many of the people they recruit as mentors or life coaches are sort of obtuse, not very keen people, despite their overly-cheerfulness.



analyser23
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23 Feb 2011, 7:58 pm

Hi :)

Funny you should mention this but....

I am actually starting my own business as a Life Coach. It will be up and running within the next month or two. I live in Australia but will be conducting most of my sessions over Skype and intend to have many international clients. I am not diagnosed AS, but I certainly feel that I am, and I most definitely relate to sooo many of the traits. I hope to work with many people with AS, particularly in areas such as what you mentioned (keeping on track in practical ways). I am not one of those "overly cheery" types. I am friendly however, and extremely dedicated to helping people come away with something that can improve their lives. I have helped quite a few people already.

My business is called Choose Happiness and it will be at www.choose-happiness.com.au when it is finally up. Feel free to pm me if you want to know more :)


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pgd
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23 Feb 2011, 7:59 pm

Merculangelo wrote:
I have just been told by one of my professional helper people that I need to find a Coach, someone to talk to and sort of keep me on track in practical ways on a weekly basis. Mostly ADHD but some Asperger issues as well. But unfortunately, that was really the only hint I was given...I don't know where to start.

Thus, my question:

Does anyone know how to find a "Coach" like this?

I'm cynical about those mentor organizations that pair people up. I have encountered some of those pairings and it seems like many of the people they recruit as mentors or life coaches are sort of obtuse, not very keen people, despite their overly-cheerfulness.


---

Personally I view the idea of ADHD coaching a little like trying to coach Parkinson's or epilepsy out of a person vs using a stimulant - alerting agent for ADHD to temporarily reduce (not a cure) some ADHD symptoms. If a person has never heard of the term executive function or the idea of using a written annual planner/a time management system, those ideas may be helpful. There are resources such as Napoleon Hill, Earl Nightingale, Barbara Sher, Dale Carnegie, etc. who address the general idea of systematic, written goal setting and attainment (no cures - but insights here and there). Apparently some persons have found coaches helpful yet others have not.



analyser23
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23 Feb 2011, 9:27 pm

Quote:
Personally I view the idea of ADHD coaching a little like trying to coach Parkinson's or epilepsy out of a person vs using a stimulant - alerting agent for ADHD to temporarily reduce (not a cure) some ADHD symptoms. If a person has never heard of the term executive function or the idea of using a written annual planner/a time management system, those ideas may be helpful. There are resources such as Napoleon Hill, Earl Nightingale, Barbara Sher, Dale Carnegie, etc. who address the general idea of systematic, written goal setting and attainment (no cures - but insights here and there). Apparently some persons have found coaches helpful yet others have not.


For me, that's the point right there. People go to coaches because they WANT help in certain areas. Being a Life Coach myself and understanding AS, it is never something I would wish to "coach out of someone". For me, I could imagine working with people who wish to embrace who they are and enjoy it and not know how to go about that... or they may wish to search deeper about who they really are after perhaps years of being confused (if they have been undiagnosed for most of their lives)... or they may wish to learn how better to do small bits of socialising for times when it is required... or they may need a bit of help with the executive functioning stuff.... etc. The idea with coaching is that you are not actually giving advice. You are like a sounding board for the client. You help guide them, through asking certain questions at certain times. They take it wherever they want it to go and you provide for them what they wish - be it someone to support and encourage them, or to push them a bit, or whatever, you get the idea.

They walk away with what they want. Either answers to a deep problem/puzzle they had (just needed another brain - who doesn't know them and who has their best interests at heart - to partner up with them to help solve it). Or, they can walk away with a first step towards a goal they wish to pursue and have either been confused about it or lacking the self worth to pursue it, or totally overwhelmed by how big it is and just need that one first step in the right direction.

It is amazing how much it can help someone out. The point being, of course, if they want it. It is always, inevitably, up to the client how much they take the opportunity and run with it.


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Merculangelo
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23 Feb 2011, 10:49 pm

Yeah, I'm not good with telephones or Skype or even e-mails.



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23 Feb 2011, 11:02 pm

Merculangelo wrote:
Yeah, I'm not good with telephones or Skype or even e-mails.


^^^THIS^^

Had to giggle a tiny bit at the concept of phone coaching for Aspies. :lol:



analyser23
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23 Feb 2011, 11:51 pm

lol I know what you mean, but for me the alternative is IN PERSON and that is waaay worse!! ! I would much rather do coaching over email as I am better with the written word, but it doesn't work that way. And, as exhausting as it still is over Skype, I can't earn money sitting on my own in my house ;)
edit: Also, even as aspies, if you want to do something, then you can make it happen - even if just for a small amount of time, and then recover afterwards. Over the years, I have learnt to really push myself if I have to - it takes everything I have got and I am wrecked afterwards, but I am determined.


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Last edited by analyser23 on 24 Feb 2011, 12:20 am, edited 1 time in total.

pensieve
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24 Feb 2011, 12:01 am

Hmm, I might consider this. I'm in Australia too. I just need to get that first job and take that first step of living independently. I'll have to see if Skype works on my computer. I've done video chats before. I don't mind them.

My psychiatrist always talks about getting me into social skills classes or even skills classes but it never happens. I mean every time I go there he just says the same things but never does anything. Maybe my lack of improvement is that other people aren't making the steps too.


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analyser23
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24 Feb 2011, 12:22 am

Merculangelo wrote:
Yeah, I'm not good with telephones or Skype or even e-mails.


Merculangelo, if you prefer in person, I am sure there are many Life Coaches in your area who might be able to help? If you google "Life Coach" there are lots of options. Good luck with it :)


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analyser23
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24 Feb 2011, 12:23 am

pensieve wrote:
Hmm, I might consider this. I'm in Australia too. I just need to get that first job and take that first step of living independently. I'll have to see if Skype works on my computer. I've done video chats before. I don't mind them.

My psychiatrist always talks about getting me into social skills classes or even skills classes but it never happens. I mean every time I go there he just says the same things but never does anything. Maybe my lack of improvement is that other people aren't making the steps too.


Pensieve, if you are keen, please feel free to pm me about it :)


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"They cannot take away our Self Respect if we do not give it to them" - Gandhi
http://www.facebook.com/TheAspieCoach (Life Coaching for Aspies)


pgd
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24 Feb 2011, 6:20 am

kfisherx wrote:
Merculangelo wrote:
Yeah, I'm not good with telephones or Skype or even e-mails.


^^^THIS^^

Had to giggle a tiny bit at the concept of phone coaching for Aspies. :lol:


---

Well, I tend to giggle at phone coaching for central auditory processing disorder (CAPD/APD) as well as those slick salesmen who have no consciences who can sell ice to Eskimos.



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24 Feb 2011, 6:29 am

I'm not sure you can 'coach' someone with ADHD. What would you say? Sit down lad, now concentrate?

I think you can teach attention skills.


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pgd
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24 Feb 2011, 6:36 am

pensieve wrote:
Hmm, I might consider this. I'm in Australia too. I just need to get that first job and take that first step of living independently. I'll have to see if Skype works on my computer. I've done video chats before. I don't mind them.

My psychiatrist always talks about getting me into social skills classes or even skills classes but it never happens. I mean every time I go there he just says the same things but never does anything. Maybe my lack of improvement is that other people aren't making the steps too.


----

There are courses about human relationships like the Dale Carnegie courses as well as basic selling classes offered by business salespersons (insights here and there - zero cures). These courses fall outside of what most doctors spend their time on. Expecting a doctor to refer a customer to a Dale Carnegie course or a basis sales course is highly unlikely since many doctors view the business world as being well outside what they are trained in.



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24 Feb 2011, 6:45 am

Moog wrote:
I'm not sure you can 'coach' someone with ADHD. What would you say? Sit down lad, now concentrate?

I think you can teach attention skills.


----

Agree with you. Coaching someone with ADHD can be difficult along the lines of trying to coach paying attention/memory skills to someone with petit mal/absence seizures. Persons with ADHD (my view) are better off to begin with by looking at (neurology) books like the Nerves In Collision book by Walter C. Alvarez, M.D., the How To (understand) Hyperactivity book (1981) about ADHD Inattentive/central auditory processing disorder (CAPD) by C. Thomas Wild, and the A Remarkable Medicine Has Been Overlooked book by Jack Dreyfus. The books (Alvarez, Wild, Dreyfus) can provide insights here and there (no cures).



Merculangelo
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24 Feb 2011, 10:56 am

I found some ADHD coaches near me but I wonder whether they understand Aspergers. If I'm told to do something or call someone or go somewhere which is hard for me to do because of an Aspergers issue and not an attention defficit issue, then how helpful are they going to be?

One of the problems I have right now is people telling me to do things in a broad over-general way, such as, "You should apply for scholarships." Thanks, I figured as much on my own. But how do I apply for scholarships? It usually takes spending time on websites crowded with advertisements, calling many people on the phone, going down to offices who send you to other offices who send you to other offices who send you back to the first office, or asking people for recommendation letters...etc. And everyone is aware of difficulties in things and doesn't like them, but where most people will just complain and move on, it could be enough for me to have an anxiety attack and start crying and be wiped out for two days. That's not ADHD.