Possibly Trans?

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Hi, I'm secretly a user on this forum, but I wanted to remain anonymous.

I am a male with Aspergers and let's just say I'm somewhere between 15-20 years of age. Where to start...

I can't remember how far back I identified myself as a girl, but all I can remember back in those days was that when my sisters would get barbie dolls, I really wanted them too. However, I didn't. I also remember at this time that I really liked alice hairbands, but when I wore one, I was told to take it off. I didn't really act like either gender, but I know that I identifed myself as a girl more often.

I play a lot of videogames. I usually play Mario games, but I sometimes really want to play games like Nintendogs and games like Imagine, Disney princesses (or something like that), dress-up games, my little ponies and some other things I can't think of right now. I usually play Mario though.

A few years ago, I remember imagining myself as a girl with blonde hair and pigtails, and when I did, I really liked it. I do this nowadays sometimes, and I like it when I do. I pretend that I'm a girl when I'm on my own sometimes. I am also a pansy (not manly). Fairies are really cute, and so are some other things. I am not a hardcore anime fan, but I find some things (especially anime fairies) really cute and stuff. Aw. <3

I rarely imagine myself as a boy, but I don't always imagine myself as a girl. I would've had numerous episodes during my childhood where I wished that I was a girl and stuff. On one of my birthdays (2 years ago), my birthday wish was that I wished that I could be female. I don't think that I act like a girl very much, but neither do I act like a boy. I want to act like a girl and I want to be a girl as much as possible though. I sometimes think about crossdressing, but I rarely have the chance to do this. I don't want to try on my sisters' clothes without their permission, and uh.... I don't think that I'm going to ask them, lol.
I really want to at least be a day where I dress, look like and act like a girl as much as possible. I want to wake up one day and find that I have become a girl.

It has really gotten to me over the past few months. It can come to my mind every five minutes. I have thought about transitioning a number of times. If I do, I'm hoping to do this before I'm 26. I don't want to "come out of the closet" until I'm living at a place of my own in case I get disowned or something.

I don't have to look pretty and stuff, even if I was ugly, I still would be happy. I don't have much intentions of getting married anyway, butI still might try.

About my sexual orientation; if I identify myself as a boy, I can be attracted to girls. If I identify myself as a girl, I can be attracted to boys. If I identify myself as neither, it could go either way or just none. I've been mostly asexual lately, and I have mostly identified myself as a girl.

What else to say... oh yeah. I like looking up pictures of girls with blonde hair and pigtails and finding a few pictures and wishing that I could be that person.

Sorry if I couldn't reveal much, I just can't think well right now. I'm not even that sure of why I would much, much, much prefer to be a girl. I could consider myself a bit androgynous (or whatever it's called), but in a way, I must become a girl for the rest of my life. It annoys me from time to time, it especially did today though for no reason.

So yeah, as I said, I want to remain anonymous, I couldn't find a better forum to post this (I know I could've tried some transsexual forum), but I didn't find ones that are as active).

Anyway, you are the first people to know this. Thank you internet for existing, I just really needed to let someone know at this point. I'm not even that sure if I'm transgendered or not, but at this point, I think that I could be. I think that the only manly thing about me is that I play Call of Duty. Thanks for reading, I love you all!

I am an aspie with transgender (female to male).

From what I read, it seems the gender expression was the only major part of your transgenderism. Is it safe to assume that you feel comfortable having a male body?

It is perfectly fine if you do. There are all types of transgender. For me, I do not plan on taking hormones or having sex reassignment therapy. However, I do plan on getting surgery to have a male chest, and I am saving up for that.

Transsexualism is just like transgenderism except it always involves sexual reassignment surgery and/or hormone therapy. Transgenderism has more to do with expression rather than anatomy.

Oh, and gender has nothing to do with sexuality. I might be a FTM transgender but I am asexual. You are only fifteen. Don't rush. There is no need too. =)

Feel free to contact me. I can point you to some good resources to help you. Good luck, fellow human being.

I have a friend whose MTF but she hasn't had any kind of surgery yet. You could try identifying as a girl but from what I can tell it has many challenges that I can't really understand. The basic physical things you could do are try dressing more effeminately, growing your hair longer (chin length or longer) and shaving (at least your face, but shaving more will make you look more like a female. If your very slim I think you could find many styles of female clothes that could work for you, but if you have any weight in your midsection, I would look into dressing in female clothes more specifically for apple shaped women.

Whatever you decide to do I wish you good luck