A little more on the prayer issue.

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Just received this quote in an email from a coworker who has been dealing with aplenty in his prayerlife lately:

"When you are praying alone, and your spirit is dejected, and you
are wearied and oppressed by your loneliness, remember then, as
always, that God the Trinity looks upon you with eyes brighter
than the sun; also all the angels, your own Guardian Angel, and
all the Saints of God. Truly they do; for they are all one in God,
and where God is, there are they also. Where the sun is, thither
also are directed all its rays. Try to understand what this means."

-St. John of Kronstadt

The Eastern Churches have some great quotes.

I spent alot of my youth walking isolated beaches, with no physical signs of the influence of our culture. I felt a connectedness of all. It seemed like so much more than any logical thought. This quote takes me back to that time. Now after spending a life wrapped in the realm of technology, I feel like I can no longer connect with what is "real" the way I used to. I remember a moment walking those beaches; afraid that one day, I would grow old and lose that sense of connectedness.

For you the beaches. And I know that from eg the beach near Fearn, but back in the day the beaches in bicycle range of New Haven were not conducive, so for me the woods. Staring up at the sky through the branches rather than seeing the waves.

But the sense is the same.

I like that. After I left the beaches, through my career, I was fortunate to have a backyard pointed toward the woods, away from any hint of civilization. Sometimes a sea of grass and my patio as boat was refuge and a place for sanctity. Sometimes my wife asked, why do you just sit there and stare at the greenery.

We had a huge majestic oak in our yard that gave me a sense of awe and strength as I watched it grow taller. A hurricane destroyed the tree, and I was amazed how much I could miss a tree. It was a joy in my life I didn't think would go away. After the tree was removed, I was surprised at how open and large the sky was; it gave me the same sense of awe and strength.

Sanctity, a gift that I remember, unlike no other. I wonder, today, how many people ever experience it in a lifetime. It is evident to me that some keep the gift into their 70's, 80's, and 90's. I think you can see it in their eyes.

I remember a story you pointed me to regarding was it heaven or hell? It was heaven; it's still all around me; I just can't seem to connect to it anymore.

My wife knows what it is about.

Getting into this place - about 20 years now, longer than either of us has ever been in a place before - was a nightmare. The negotiations took months - and then we had months before we got it habitable enough to move in.

One evening - probably in December - we left a meeting at the bank in which the manager categorically refused us the loan. "Your credit's good, we will happily lend to you - but not for THAT house."

We were pretty down. Should we just give it up? On the way home, we drove in here and got out. Walked to the back of the property and stood in the chill of the winter sunset, and listened. No street noise, no people noise, no lights in the only other house visible across the fields. It let us remember why we wanted it. We persisted, tried again, got it. It is a bit more built up - there are now four houses on our dead end country road, not three.

But go out to the field at the back, except at planting time and harvest, and there is nothing between you and reality but the odd falcon, or a fox, or a slightly grumpy woodchuck. It is not the same as the East Rock woods - not the same as the beach at Fearn, or the island in Maine that one year. But it touches the same place.

What a bundle of shite! Utter crapdoodle.

ruveyn

Some dude in the sky watching me is creepy on it's face,
and if he's watching me suffer and refusing to use his infinite powers to help,
that's just sadistic.

Thank you for sharing. Input from one so spiritually advanced is so illuminating.

In the day I was a bit less extreme in expressing it but one knows where you are coming from.

I am not the one needs to respond to your points.

The difference between enjoying nature, and being immersed in Creation.