Sick fantasy about breaking others up

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It's terrible but I've lately had a fantasy about breaking other people up. It's easy to figure out why. I envy the people around me, be they friends I know, or couples I see out walking, or when I hear about two beautiful, famous celebrities who are dating or getting married. I envy their happiness, that they've already succeeded where I failed totally. I have this special hatred for people who hit a homerun on their first outing, who find that someone without effort. Like a friend from high school who married the first girl he dated, and now they have a kid together and a home and he has a great job and on and on.

It makes me sick. I figure deep down, it reflects my inner hatred and disappointment, that they've found success so easily why I try so hard and so many times, and work to improve myself and I get nothing for it. And so I turn to this fantasy where I am like Iago, plotting to tear apart a happy couple, to bring down their joy a bit. And then perhaps I swoop in and take the girl. It seems all the girls I admire and respect most have already chosen someone else, and I dream of ways I could undermine that, secretly, to drive a wedge, and then take the other guy's place. I guess it's about feeling I have some kind of control when I've got none.

It's a terrible fantasy. I could never act on it, since I don't want to hurt anyone. But it is a powerful fantasy all the same...

Many have said this before, but "getting the girl" is not the panacea you imagine it to be.

You seem to be generally dissatisfied with your life, so it's natural to look for a specific cause for your unhappiness and not being in a relationship often seems to be a reasonable explanation, but it isn't necessarily the best one...

It's not the fantasy that's the problem (I mean, as fantasies go, it could be worse - fantasies of rape, child abuse, f*****g your mother, eating s**t). The problem is the feelings that are causing these fantasies.

Once you address them (the bitterness and resentment) you'll probably find that the fantasies disappear.

There is very little I'm satisfied with. I try to tell myself I'm doing alright, but i don't really believe it. I struggle to make ends meets, and to come up with money to fund my films. I look for work, but can't get interviews. I fear I will never realize all these great ideas for films I have, because I don't have access to the money and resources. Or worse, that I WILL make it happen, and the result will be utterly mediocre, and I will be a failure. It's hard because every film I make is a disappointment to me afterward. I see only what I could have done better. And none of my films have mattered. I've got one that is showing in a festival this week, but I just KNOW no one will come. I've sent invitations out to every production outfit and TV station in the area, but none have responded.

And all the while, I'm tortured by the failures of the past. Why I didn't do well enough in school, why I was a failure as an athlete as well as the son of the team coach. I think of every silly ,stupid thing I did. Like the one time I was hanging around with a girl I liked, and I kissed her on the cheek as we said goodbye, and she seemed so embarrassed, and I think of it to this day and beat my head (literally) over being so stupid to think I could express affection without being an utter fool.

I try to improve myself, to focus on making better films, making more money, earning respect and admiration. But I fear that no matter what i do, no woman will accept me. And so I become especially anxious to find someone, ANYONE who will accept me as I am. I'm tired of trying to be confident, to sell myself as something I'm not. I just want to be loved is all and told I'm Okay.

The counselor I'm seeing says that people without relationship success shouldn't consider others in established relationships "lucky", although it hurts to see other people happily doing something that you've never experienced.

I have fantasies of punching the sh*t out of my bullies. That isn't much better.

Living as an aspie, many of us are bound to get pent up ill feelings to others for whatever reason. I wouldn't worry about it.

Check your priorities. It's when you dwell on things like that that you get miserable and what not. If you just quit giving a s**t about love (it's overrated anyways) you'll find yourself much happier than if you actually got in a LONG relationship where you discover how much drama they are.

I don't get the fantasies like brian does, but I do have a sick evil demented feeling deep inside whenever i hear of a breakup that happened. Seeing other people suffer like such after attaining what I never could actually makes me feel good. And at the same time, makes me feel bad because I have that feeling.

I myself have actually broken people up.
my ex girlfriend who cheated on me was hooking up with my friend, but at that time she had another boyfriend,
so i schemed and created a fake facebook account with a random picture or someone and told him about it

and i feel bad afterwards like now, but during the time. i felt happy that someone who caused me so much pain is now getting it twice as bad due to my hand. is that messed up of me?

I don't think getting revenge on cheaters, etc. is helpful in the long-run. It just puts you in a bad place mentally and isn't a very mature thing to do. As hard as it might be to believe, people who cheat and lie and do all those things usually do get their comeuppance in the end. It might happen in subtle ways, even in ways that aren't obvious to those on the outside, but their selfishness and immaturity will come back to bite them in the butt eventually. The healthiest thing you can do is to accept that you were in a bad relationship and try to just move on and improve yourself and learn from your experiences. Getting or plotting revenge just mires you in your past and doesn't help you grow as a person, morally or emotionally. And the cheaters likely won't even "get" the lesson--they'll just get PO'd that things aren't going their way, or get mad at you if they know it was you. People like that are kind of beyond realizing the errors of their ways just because someone pointed them out. Sure, they cheated, which is awful, but it doesn't make you seem much better if you come across as angry, spiteful, and vindictive. That can be just as bad as cheating. They're all just unhealthy ways of dealing with unmet emotional needs. It's ok to be angry, but there are more productive ways of dealing with anger besides getting revenge.