Time management and punctuality issues.
I have no problem being on time for events that happen at the same time, in the same place, every week. Aside from that? Yes, lots of problems.
While I CAN organize events, I find it incredibly difficult and stressful. Also, I just recently realized that I am intentionally showing up a half-hour late to professional events and workshops to avoid that unstructured 'getting to know you' time they always start with.
I'm chronically late for everything. Although now my husband drives me to everywhere he reminds me to get ready early. I still worry and obsess about every appointment, though. A scheduled life cause me a great deal of anxiety. My favorite way is to do things unplanned, whenever I feel like it. I'm very productive if left on my own schedule with not much pressure. However I found that other people don't seem to like that at all. They'll make appointments for everything. Even for dropping off something at your door people give you email notices nowadays. Then they make me anticipate anxiously and keep checking the time. It seems the more anxious I feel, the more likely they'll be late or not show up at all. I just don't know how to manage to relax.
I'm either early or late for everything and it does cause problems. If once in a blue moon I'm actually exactly on time, it's by accident, not by design. When I was tested and dx'd with Asperger's, I was also dx'd with NLD and wonder if it has something to do with that.
I actually just have no sense of time in general. I frequently write the wrong date (including year!) when I sign documents and I basically have felt the same throughout my entire lifespan. (ie, When I was a small child, I was constantly told I seemed very mature for my age or was an 'old soul.' Now that I'm in my late 20's, people act suprised when they find out my age and tell me they thought I was much younger than I am). I don't know, the more my peers change, the more I just feel the same. I'm always out-of-synch with time. There is no way I can go to my 10-year high school reunion this year, I'll get totally disoriented.
I have had enormous problems with time management my whole life. I can remember having great difficulty even learning how to tell time as a young girl. I'm also a terrible procrastinator and have been for as long as I can remember. For reference, I am an undiagnosed Aspie, likely with undiagnosed NLD as well.
I frequently misjudge how long it will take for me to get ready and to arrive at appointments on time, ensuring that I unintentionally arrive 5-15 minutes late to everything. It doesn't help that I live out in the country, at least 30-45 minutes away from most places I need to go. I even manage to arrive late to things that I wouldn't ever want to be late for, such as doctor appointments or concerts. However, I do dread arriving early to anything requiring socializing, which could lead to extra small talk. So I strive to arrive exactly on time, but invariably I always end up late anyway.
I have been told on occasion that being even 5 minutes late is a sign of disrespect and is considered very rude. I maintain that it is much ruder to show up early, when folks aren't prepared for your arrival yet, then it is to arrive slightly late when you are already expected. To each their own I guess. I never intend to be rude or disrespectful when I end up late. I never intend to be late at all, I just try not to be early. And achieving my goal of being exactly on time seems ever elusive.
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"You have your way. I have my way. As for the right way, the correct way, and the only way, it does not exist."
-- Friedrich Nietzsche
I hate being late for anything. I will usually turn up early and hang about until its time to do whatever I'm there to do. I get very anxious if I'm going to be late and I get anxious if someone I have made arrangements with is late. I've been like this since a tiny child.
As for procrastination. I am the queen of procrastination. I am excellently organised, I love schedules and routines but if something can be put off until later it will be.
I tend not to plan for anything now unless I have to which means I dont have to get anxious about timekeeping, and procrastination when you have not a lot to do is pretty ineffective. Problem solved.
I am a procrastinator, and I do have some time management problems. I also get extremely anxious if I am running late. I don't have any sense of time, 4hrs may seem like 10 min or vice versa. I do tend to get to places way to early, then wonder if I'm at the right place, or is it the right day. That makes me anxious too. I've had meltdowns over this. So I got a smart phone, now i can re read the email with the meeting time, check my calendar, use GPS to find my way to a new place, etc. If I am early I can entertain myself. Plus if I am late I can call to let them know usually. I still run into trouble sometime on driving times in the car, but most of my travels are by bike and I tend to allow a bit of extra time.
I'm always late, and I got into a lot of trouble (including public humiliation) and resentment from people about that. I still can't fix it. It seems scolding doesn't make me learn. Either that or I'm just incapable of learning to be punctual. I'm over stressed about appointments and stuff. I use multiple alarm clocks to make sure I get up on time. I still often turn out to be late. Never too late, usually no more than 5 minutes. Not sure what's the deal about that. Getting up earlier doesn't seem to help, I'm still as late as ever. My husband now keeps track of appointments and drives me everywhere so I'm usually on time enough. Curiously I found many people aren't punctual at all and don't seem to be stressed about it. Like my parents never show up at the time we agreed on. If they are actually on time we'd be quite shocked.
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AQ score: 44
Aspie mom to two autistic sons (21 & 20 )
I just realized I hate being late AND I hate being early.
"On time" is tricky, though.
For example, a doctor's appointment for 11:00 probably doesn't mean I should walk through the door at 11:00. I should probably get there a little earlier in case there's some paperwork or something. But how much earlier? And what if there's not paperwork, and I'm sitting around feeling awkward? Plus, those waiting rooms are full of germs....
"On time" is tricky, though.
For example, a doctor's appointment for 11:00 probably doesn't mean I should walk through the door at 11:00. I should probably get there a little earlier in case there's some paperwork or something. But how much earlier? And what if there's not paperwork, and I'm sitting around feeling awkward? Plus, those waiting rooms are full of germs....
I'd just turn up at 11.......I'd be mindful that they might prefer something different to that, but they waste enough of my time in the waiting room as it is. My dentist actually has it on the appointment card, "please arrive x mins before your appointment," but when I complied with it, I just got told to sit back and wait, so I don't bother any more. The world's full of people who will get you to waste your time so that they won't waste theirs. My dentist is making money efficiently enough as it is, he really doesn't need my help.
+1
I also make it a habit to write down in my diary about any appointments that I have, referring to it frequently.
I am always late for things. I resent having to be anywhere at a certain time but for sure, I'd rarely go anywhere if that weren't the case.
I am usually late because I get caught up in doing things to entertain my head, which amounts to stimming for me.
Often I am late because things don't go smoothly. I get all flustered if I have to make decisions or if something goes wrong. Funny, I am generally good at flying by the seat of my pants but I guess it has to be on my terms. If it involves getting ready to go out, I am lost.
Agreed! The one thing I actually like about working but not having my own car is that I'm actually on time (or 10 minutes early) for work everyday. If left to my own devices I will always be late. My perception of time is always grossly off, and the prepping it takes to get ready to go somewhere always takes longer than the time I allot for it.
If absolute chaos had a watch, he could set it by my life. But I wouldn't have it any other way.
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"If all your friends names were cliff, would you jump off them?"
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