Have Any of You Dated a Neurotypical Female?

Page 7 of 9 [ 134 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1 ... 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9  Next

emlion
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 2 Sep 2010
Age: 29
Gender: Female
Posts: 17,641

14 Mar 2011, 3:55 pm

girls marry the akward nerdy guy - look at all the 'alpha, bad boys' who are still single way into their lives.
bad boys get casual hook ups easier though.



Janissy
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 5 May 2009
Age: 53
Gender: Female
Posts: 6,508
Location: x

14 Mar 2011, 4:35 pm

SadAspy wrote:
[2. I get sick of women claiming they like "shy, socially awkward, nerdy guys" and not "bad boy alphas"....sure there's probably a FEW who do, but most don't.


Most of the men I've met in my many years aren't in either one of those groups. I've met some "bad boy alphas" but didn't date them. I've met some "shy socially awkward nerdy guys" but didn't date them either. I dated nerdy guys and some were introverts and some were extroverts but they weren't socially awkward. It's true. Most women don't want to be with a socially awkard guy but are truly happy with a nerd. I'm married to a nerdy guy who is not socially awkward.

"Socially awkward" is a deal breaker for many women. And I bet if you listen closely, they aren't claiming to like socially awkward guys. You are probaly assuming nerd=socially awkard so if they say they like one, they must like both traits. But I think socially awkward is something that can be overcome with practice.



DW_a_mom
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 22 Feb 2008
Age: 60
Gender: Female
Posts: 11,182
Location: Northern California

14 Mar 2011, 4:58 pm

I was at an event Saturday where the tally seemed to be 50% very pretty social wives, 80% nerdy / nice guy husbands. The guys had a great time when they realized they all loved talking about the same geeky stuff. I usually have to drag my husband to events like that, but he didn't want to leave!

The proof is in the results.


_________________
Mom to an amazing AS son, who recently graduated from the university (plus an also amazing non-AS daughter). Most likely part of the "Broader Autism Phenotype" (some traits).


CaptainTrips222
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 30 Mar 2009
Age: 38
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,125

14 Mar 2011, 7:08 pm

Janissy wrote:
SadAspy wrote:
[2. I get sick of women claiming they like "shy, socially awkward, nerdy guys" and not "bad boy alphas"....sure there's probably a FEW who do, but most don't.


Most of the men I've met in my many years aren't in either one of those groups. I've met some "bad boy alphas" but didn't date them. I've met some "shy socially awkward nerdy guys" but didn't date them either. I dated nerdy guys and some were introverts and some were extroverts but they weren't socially awkward. It's true. Most women don't want to be with a socially awkard guy but are truly happy with a nerd. I'm married to a nerdy guy who is not socially awkward.

"Socially awkward" is a deal breaker for many women. And I bet if you listen closely, they aren't claiming to like socially awkward guys. You are probaly assuming nerd=socially awkard so if they say they like one, they must like both traits. But I think socially awkward is something that can be overcome with practice.


Yeah. I don't like to see things so black and white. I am quiet and awkward, when it comes down to it, but I'm not really a nerd. It's weird. On the other hand, I've seen people who were total nerds and really sought after because of their charisma and sense of humor. People might initially see them as geeky, but when they notice how much they like themselves no longer notice it, so things start working out for them.

I'm not kidding about that last thing. I just remembered, there was this guy that was really peculiar in one of the night classes; he quoted indiana jones, he did yoda's voice sometimes, he talked about star craft a lot, and he didn't seem smooth, but I'll be damned if he wasn't good friends with some HOT female students, one of which was a southern belle. One time we had this homecoming thing where there were inflatable houses and people playing frisby, and I saw him with a crowd of people around him. He was dressed in a brown coat and wearing a fedora. I'm serious. I couldn't figure out how he did it, or what people liked so much about him, but I think it was his sense of humor and how he related. But I considered him a nerd, and very quirky.



Who_Am_I
Forum Moderator
Forum Moderator

User avatar

Joined: 27 Aug 2005
Age: 35
Gender: Female
Posts: 13,096
Location: My body is in Brisbane and my mind is in the gutter. :D

14 Mar 2011, 10:35 pm

SadAspy wrote:
Volodja wrote:
SadAspy wrote:
Unfortunately, no woman wants me.



If you're so certain this is the case then what are you even talking about it for? If you're convinced no woman would have you, then moaning about it isn't gonna help. Move on and find something else to do with your life


I don't even disagree with this, BUT two things:

1. I didn't start the thread...I was just responding to what someone else said

2. I get sick of women claiming they like "shy, socially awkward, nerdy guys" and not "bad boy alphas"....sure there's probably a FEW who do, but most don't.


I get sick of boys implying that I must be lying when I state my preferences, and that since I'm female, I must be a clone of all other females.

Shy is fine.

Socially awkward is fine.

Nerdy is hot.

Whiny stereotyping is a major turn-off.


_________________
Music Theory 101: Cadences.
Authentic cadence: V-I
Plagal cadence: IV-I
Deceptive cadence: V- ANYTHING BUT I ! !! !
Beethoven cadence: V-I-V-I-V-V-V-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I
-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I! I! I! I I I


Grisha
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 15 Oct 2009
Age: 52
Gender: Male
Posts: 8,336
Location: LA-ish

14 Mar 2011, 10:43 pm

Who_Am_I wrote:
I get sick of boys implying that I must be lying when I state my preferences, and that since I'm female, I must be a clone of all other females.

Shy is fine.

Socially awkward is fine.

Nerdy is hot.

Whiny stereotyping is a major turn-off.


Fine - point taken...

Now will you marry me? :wink:



ToadOfSteel
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 23 Sep 2007
Age: 31
Gender: Male
Posts: 6,716
Location: New Jersey

14 Mar 2011, 10:51 pm

Janissy wrote:
"Socially awkward" is a deal breaker for many women. And I bet if you listen closely, they aren't claiming to like socially awkward guys. You are probaly assuming nerd=socially awkard so if they say they like one, they must like both traits. But I think socially awkward is something that can be overcome with practice.


What if a guy is incredibly awkward around strangers but okay among friends?



Chronos
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 22 Apr 2010
Age: 39
Gender: Female
Posts: 8,698

14 Mar 2011, 10:59 pm

SadAspy wrote:
Volodja wrote:
SadAspy wrote:
Unfortunately, no woman wants me.



If you're so certain this is the case then what are you even talking about it for? If you're convinced no woman would have you, then moaning about it isn't gonna help. Move on and find something else to do with your life


I don't even disagree with this, BUT two things:

1. I didn't start the thread...I was just responding to what someone else said

2. I get sick of women claiming they like "shy, socially awkward, nerdy guys" and not "bad boy alphas"....sure there's probably a FEW who do, but most don't.


Actually most women just like average guys.Of all the boyfriends and husbands I know, none of them are "bad boy alphas"....or "shy, socially awkward nerdy guys" who spent their time ranting about women.



SadAspy
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 13 Oct 2010
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 695
Location: U.S.A.

14 Mar 2011, 11:55 pm

Quote:
Whiny stereotyping is a major turn-off.


Quote:
or "shy, socially awkward nerdy guys" who spent their time ranting about women.


I KNEW this was coming. Of course, I can't get a girl....I spend time all my time complaining about them!

I only started complaining after many hurtful rejections....I didn't just wake up one day and decide to start ranting about women, so don't get the cause-and-effect relationship mixed up here.



tskin1
Raven
Raven

User avatar

Joined: 7 Mar 2011
Gender: Female
Posts: 119
Location: Michigan, USA

15 Mar 2011, 12:14 am

I am NT female lol was married to aspie for 12 years with him 14 and still his friend today. If he hadn't hit me one nite I believe we'd still be married .. so to whoever thought it impossible .. it is :)



hale_bopp
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 2 Nov 2004
Gender: Female
Posts: 17,774
Location: None

15 Mar 2011, 12:16 am

SadAspy wrote:
Quote:
Whiny stereotyping is a major turn-off.


Quote:
or "shy, socially awkward nerdy guys" who spent their time ranting about women.


I KNEW this was coming. Of course, I can't get a girl....I spend time all my time complaining about them!

I only started complaining after many hurtful rejections....I didn't just wake up one day and decide to start ranting about women, so don't get the cause-and-effect relationship mixed up here.


It is likely a personality issue and complaining about rejections is just making it worse. You have to learn not to care about the rejections.



Who_Am_I
Forum Moderator
Forum Moderator

User avatar

Joined: 27 Aug 2005
Age: 35
Gender: Female
Posts: 13,096
Location: My body is in Brisbane and my mind is in the gutter. :D

15 Mar 2011, 12:42 am

Grisha wrote:
Who_Am_I wrote:
I get sick of boys implying that I must be lying when I state my preferences, and that since I'm female, I must be a clone of all other females.

Shy is fine.

Socially awkward is fine.

Nerdy is hot.

Whiny stereotyping is a major turn-off.


Fine - point taken...

Now will you marry me? :wink:


Of course!

Now that that's out of the way, perhaps a proper introduction would be in order?

:lol:


_________________
Music Theory 101: Cadences.
Authentic cadence: V-I
Plagal cadence: IV-I
Deceptive cadence: V- ANYTHING BUT I ! !! !
Beethoven cadence: V-I-V-I-V-V-V-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I
-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I! I! I! I I I


tskin1
Raven
Raven

User avatar

Joined: 7 Mar 2011
Gender: Female
Posts: 119
Location: Michigan, USA

15 Mar 2011, 12:50 am

lol too cute!!



Bimin
Blue Jay
Blue Jay

User avatar

Joined: 9 Mar 2011
Age: 35
Gender: Male
Posts: 76

15 Mar 2011, 12:58 am

Complaining about them in public or all the time makes it worse but people need an outlet and if ppl can't talk about it and express their emotions, feelings, thoughts then it makes the situation worse.

We also have to consider what stage of life we are in, teenagers, young adults, adults, have different experiences and are exposed to different environments, different social realms, people from different generations where exposed to different upbringing's, popular culture, environments, while some say that it's all the same, it isn't, for example years ago there was a larger population of women, years ago there weren't male and female stereotypes impressed upon you every second of the day.......................................

Sometimes people can't change their social awkwardness because of an accident or hereditary issues, there are successful socially awkward people and they require a kind, caring, nurturing, understanding type of woman, this type of woman is very very rare, I saw one today when I went into an appointment, her boyfriend had aspergers and she was so kind and caring towards him, I just wanted to cry, because it was such a beautiful thing.

To those who can change it, it requires a lot of work, but the truth of the matter is those alpha male types may not be married but that is by their own choosing they don't just magically one day turn the alpha male switch off they continue, either getting married or being single and active.

it's true it's difficult to stereotype, all I can talk about are my experiences with love and rejection, from culture to culture, my ratio in America is probably 1:10,000, every 10,000 girls I talk to I get a girlfriend, i have had a few random hookups, meaning literally a few, as in three in america and all where out of desperation, they were attracted to me and I was not attracted to them. I had one significant relation ship in America as well.
In South America, my ratio is 1:3, I have had three serious relationships there and several near serious relationships. Why is this? Women are kinder, my american accent is a turn on, I remind them of a south american action, the average height is a couple inches shorter and women are not turned off by body hair, in fact some like it. . . So I am complaining that the majority of my life in my own country, the United Corporations of America I have been alone, I was doing the same thing here in America, I am just as much of a nice, entertaining, kind guy as I am here and there. Also I had to start by own business's to get work and that's with a top 50 college degree...... I will stop the complaining here, otherwise It will be a few more pages.



Vigilans
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 19 Jun 2008
Age: 31
Gender: Male
Posts: 12,327
Location: Montreal

15 Mar 2011, 1:10 am

I've only gone out with NT females. What was it like? Well, it was a relationship. I make a good boyfriend for most women of my type, but inevitably after a few months of not giving my 'special interests' any time I end up feeling burned out. The result is me committing too much time to my interests after that point and the relationship often fails.

Thankfully I am with a woman now who is 'NT' but she is very much like me in being relatively asocial and committed to routine and certain interests. Sometimes I wonder if maybe she doesn't have mild AS like I do and that is why we complete each other so well, but it wouldn't matter to me either way

In any case its important to make time for yourself if you need routines, as it can lead to problems later. Maybe I am alone in this but a few other people, women & men I have talked to here seem to have gone through similar situations at one point or another


_________________
Opportunities multiply as they are seized. -Sun Tzu
Nature creates few men brave, industry and training makes many -Machiavelli
You can safely assume that you've created God in your own image when it turns out that God hates all the same people you do