Is Asexuality Achievable?

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15 Mar 2011, 8:50 am

Is it possible to get the "I want a relationship" monkey off your back once and for all?

Has anyone here achieved it? If so, then how?

It would be so awesome to be able to do this...

hale_bopp
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15 Mar 2011, 8:51 am

You can't choose to be asexual like you can't choose to be gay.

Grisha
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15 Mar 2011, 9:07 am

hale_bopp wrote:

You can't choose to be asexual like you can't choose to be gay.

I know - I wasn't really referring to actual clinical asexuality, just a state where you are perfectly content with being alone and don't feel deprived in any way. I just couldn't think of a better word for it.

I've tried really hard to make a psychological effort to suppress this need - consciously re-directing thoughts when they occur, but it just seems to ultimately make things worse.

Therapists are absolutely useless, all they do is try to "fix" you so you can find a relationship. They absolutely refuse to acknowledge that in certain cases this is essentially impossible, very unprofessional if you ask me...

01001011
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15 Mar 2011, 10:05 am

I think sex is the hardest part. It is hard coded.

A real relation is easy. I never go out with other people. I have enough special interest (all are done ALONE!) to keep me occupied. There is no girl around and it rarely come across my mind there exists such thing as relation. At most I fantasize dating but never with anyone real.

Grisha
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15 Mar 2011, 10:28 am

01001011 wrote:

I think special interests are the key, and I have a TON of them!

Every dark cloud has a silver lining - I think this may be it...

b9
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15 Mar 2011, 10:29 am

Grisha wrote:

Is it possible to get the "I want a relationship" monkey off your back once and for all?

Has anyone here achieved it? If so, then how?

It would be so awesome to be able to do this...

well i do not know exactly what the word "awesome" means in this context.
it is very sweet to the soul to make love to someone who grips your heart, but it is also very "sour" of the soul to think that that is what all life is about.

life is best when there are no external influences over it in my opinion.

Grisha
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15 Mar 2011, 10:35 am

b9 wrote:

Grisha wrote:

Is it possible to get the "I want a relationship" monkey off your back once and for all?

Has anyone here achieved it? If so, then how?

It would be so awesome to be able to do this...

"Awesome" in this context would be enjoying the very numerous benefits of singleness with absolutely no downside...

b9
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15 Mar 2011, 11:11 am

Grisha wrote:

"Awesome" in this context would be enjoying the very numerous benefits of singleness with absolutely no downside...

well am sorry that my answer was askew to what you now maintain you meant.

i am as happy as i can be even though the external world is not what i would like to see.

i do not think that you have the capacity for happiness that is not caused by a reason.

i think you are stuck in a world where i can not live, and if you loved your real self and wanted to return home every day to it, then you would inspire the curiosity of those who you feel are rejecting you..

i do not want people to wander in my direction with their notions of familiarity for what i say. i am happiest when i am completely alone and there is no distraction by them that impinges upon my mind.

abaisse
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15 Mar 2011, 11:25 am

My psychiatrist actually suggested swearing off men for a period of time. I did not date for 18 months and it was a very freeing 18 months.

I ended that time last month and I can say that I am truly content with my life the way it is. I am blessed for many reasons. In some ways, I don't want to mess up the good thing I have going right now.

But no matter what, there's always that "missing" feeling. It's nearly impossible shed. The heart wants, what the heart wants.

The_Face_of_Boo
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15 Mar 2011, 11:25 am

Castration.

Grisha
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15 Mar 2011, 11:34 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

Castration.

Not really an option, unless you're into DIY... :wink:

Besides, if the whole problem were simply due to sexual urges then masturbation would solve the problem quite easily...

universeofone
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15 Mar 2011, 11:34 am

The more the cons>pros, the less likely you would be willing to expend thoughts/energy on something, as you would have less desire to go there? For it to work, you would have to nearly recoil at the mention of that sort of relationship.

The_Face_of_Boo
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15 Mar 2011, 11:39 am

Grisha wrote:

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

Castration.

Not really an option, unless you're into DIY... :wink:

Besides, if the whole problem were simply due to sexual urges then masturbation would solve the problem quite easily...

Brain removal.

Grisha
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15 Mar 2011, 11:54 am

abaisse wrote:

But no matter what, there's always that "missing" feeling. It's nearly impossible shed. The heart wants, what the heart wants.

Yeah - in the end there are some things you just have to accept.

I've come to the conclusion that you just focus on the positive and don't complain...

Grisha
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15 Mar 2011, 11:56 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

Grisha wrote:

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

Castration.

Not really an option, unless you're into DIY... :wink:

Besides, if the whole problem were simply due to sexual urges then masturbation would solve the problem quite easily...

Brain removal.

Overkill - that would actually solve every problem...

The_Face_of_Boo
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15 Mar 2011, 11:58 am

Grisha wrote:

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

Grisha wrote:

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

Castration.

Not really an option, unless you're into DIY... :wink:

Besides, if the whole problem were simply due to sexual urges then masturbation would solve the problem quite easily...

Brain removal.

Overkill - that would actually solve every problem...

Bingo.

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