Make an extremely dark joke.

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Just picked this one up from Jonathan Haidt:

What do you get when you cross a mafioso with a postmodernist?

An offer you can't understand.

In Hell everyone smokes.

Why was the little boy hitting himself over the head with a 2X4?

Because it felt so good when he quit

I want to die the same way my great uncle did, which was peacefully in his sleep.
Too bad the same couldn't be said for the other people in his car.

They say, AI will soon be able to write a book... but I'm sure it won't be able to serve 10 years in gulag for it.

How do the stars die?

Usually by overdosing.

What would you get if you were to put everybody in the state of Georgia in one room?

Answer: A family reunion.

I never seem to 'fit in' anywhere in life...

So after my death I will fit just nicely on my mantle.

A Canadian who was visiting the USA was walking down the street when an American jumped out from behind the bushes and pointed a gun at him.

"Give me all your money and I'll let you live." the American mugger growled.

"Oh, you must be a doctor!" said the Canadian.

Q: Why do Americans fish with a gun?
A: So they can get the whole school.

Dark humor is like food.

Not everyone gets it.

<in the voice of Gilbert Gottfried>

Dark humour is like sex.

We all hope the kids don't get it <pause> but you'd be surprised.

When the power goes out flashlights are big carriers of dead batteries.

My Gran died due to a huge mix-up, but mainly because I couldn’t remember her blood type . As her life slowly ebbed away, she kept telling me “be positive,” I try, but it’s hard without her.

^