Shaking Hands

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I don't know if it is the same in America, but in England you are still expected to shake hands, especially in a working environment, with business contacts or people you have just met.

I hate it! I’m not keen on physical contact from close family, although I don’t mind the occasional hug, if they warn me beforehand, so why would I want to touch a complete stranger!

Does anyone know where the tradition comes from?

For starters, it’s very unhygienic. The amount of people you see leaving the bathroom without washing their hands is unbelievable. Has anyone found a way to avoid actually having to touch the other person when they hold their hand out, without appearing rude?

Personally, my first response would be “no thanks, I don’t know where you have been” but even I have mange to work out that would not be taken well!

I suppose this is a tradition of showing good intentions, and bc of it I rather have chosen accepting it. I absolutely don't like germs transmitted during a handshake, and the warm and sticky feeling after one. I wash my hands as soon as possible, try to avoid being caught by it. I also don't like the tubes on city-buses that the passenger supposed to grasp while standing in one, I avoid them as much as possible. BTW I live in east-center Europe.

I don't have a problem with the germ issue, but shaking hands ... why!??!??!

Yesterday we had new member of staff join the department. Let's call her S.
The manager was taking her around the offices introducing her to everyone.
When they got to my office, I wasn't there.
They were there when I got back, and I had to walk past them to get to my desk.

Then the following ensued:

Manager: Ah! YellowBanana, there you are! I'd like to introduce S. S, this is YellowBanana.
S: Hello, I'm pleased to meet you <holds out her hand for shaking>
Me: <pause> er ... hi! <waves>

WTF?!??!?! I waved!! !! She was standing less than a metre away and I f'ing WAVED!! !! Seriously.
I slunk to my desk as quickly as could and spent the rest of the day thinking about how stupid I looked WAVING at her.
Can you say social blunder??!

Usually, with preparation, I can manage to shake hands (although my heart beats out of my chest, my hand gets sweaty and I can't string any words together to go with the handshake) but for this I was unprepared.

For me, it's all about

a) I don't like being touched without prior warning (but I do love good, firm touch like bear hugs from people I know well) or by strangers (even with prior warning)

and

b) the handshake is part of a social interaction that I always struggle with : meeting and greeting, or saying goodbye. I've never been comfortable with either.

I don't like strangers invading my personal space to begin with and I hate shaking hands. Especially cold and clammy hands. It almost makes me physically sick. I usually try to avoid it by foreseeing the possible situation and then putting as much space between me and the other person as possible or holding something in my hands. I know it's not very "nice" or polite but I try to make up for it by being verbally polite and "nice". I can fake that.

Oh God yes - been there, done that.
"Er, hi!" is an absolutely typical greeting from me to strangers when I'm introduced like this, too.

I'm not too fussed about the idea of germs - but some hands are just disgusting to touch: clammy, sticky (where my hand actually retains this stickiness and I have to go and wash it off ASAP), squishy, flabby - all generally unpleasant.
So yeah, it's a 'touch' thing with me but I've also always struggled with this plain weird idea of how grabbing hold of each other's appendages is considered a necessary part of meeting people. Are we checking to see if they'll drop off? Proving there's no concealed dagger?
I mean, we could just as easily hop up & down on one leg a couple of times. That would be every bit as weird and every bit as meaningless - but at least there's no mutual groping.

I like it! May be we could all start a new trend?

I think I might try this next time. It's got to beat the idiotic moment of waving that occured yesterday.

Or alternatively we could try holding our right foot in our left hand, placing the middle finger of our right hand on the crown of our head and the thumb of our right hand on the tip of our right ear. Like Gulliver when he's agreeing to terms of his release in Lilliput...

I do not like or accept it, nor do I intiate it. That being said, I have learned it is rude not to shake if someone offers their hand, so I do it out of politeness.

Yes, let's! Hopping up and down sounds good! May I use a pogo stick???

As to shaking hands, I am not into it. If I have the presence of mind, I say "I don't shake hands." and try to smile. Barring that, the person usually grabs my hand (which is usually stiff at my side) and briskly shakes it while talking in a rapid manner. I usually smile, try to respond "appropriately" and then wash my hands or break out the sanitizer. The main reason that I dislike it is because I find it awkward. I tend to "forget" about the fact that very few people tend to wash their hands after wiping their a$$es until after the handshake.

I've heard about the need of physical contact, it is something that the other person is analyzed during a handshake. Firm but not overly strong, well-timed, dry handshake is the optional. A physical hallmark of the verbal interaction, indicating that the other person has good intention, is sincere, calm and can be trusted. At least something like this. It doesn't change that I can't help disliking handshakes.

Of course - although this should be reserved for use only when meeting very important people otherwise it may be seen as ostentatious. Unfortunately it then gets more complicated, because it's not just the hopping but the quality of your pogo stick that counts.
For heads of state or royalty, only the finest hand-crafted pogo sticks would be deemed socially acceptable.

It's just bizarre, isn't it?
How is anyone supposed to know how firm, how strong, the perfect timing (I really hate the klingons - the ones you have to pull your hand away from because they will not let go), the optimum moisture content?
And knowing all this stuff is likely to get analyzed in a few milliseconds by the other person doesn't really help with confidence in getting it right.

I just tell people that I don't shake hands.
If they're the type to suddenly grab my hand, I tend to be startled into violently pulling away.

By sharpened senses, of course, like Klingons.... (How much Odo suffered when he had to play the role of a Klingon). Optimum moisture content can be established without chemistry, by confidence. Really, I still have problem with timing, I tend to withdraw my hand too soon, despite I count some blinks time on. My hand is a little cold, it is also observable when the temperature is a bit low.

Well, it used to be a problem, not expecting it amongst other reasons, but now I sort of know how it goes.

I tolerate it because it's quick and it's not too much contact for me.

Just pretend to scratch your butt first when somebody puts their hand out. Works for me