The TV show "Parenthood"

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I have to say that I have been quite touched by this show's depiction of the son, Max, who has Asperger's. In most media portrayals I struggle to find similarities between my daughter and the characters but Max is so like my daughter it is uncanny. I find myself so emotionally affected by this show, watching as fictional characters go through what I have encountered with my own daughter. Last night's episode was about empathy and I thought it was a very good representation of how he (Max) struggled (silently and internally-only a parent of a child with AS could see that as it was not shown) with the concept. Other topics that have hit home with me were the children at school not inviting him to parties, his rigidity and inflexibility with rules, and his distance and desire to "do his own things". It is interesting watching the parents struggle with their own acceptance (they don't always succeed) and try to adjust their expectations without failing their child. I feel that these are things we as parents struggle with on a daily basis.

Is anyone else watching this show? Do you feel it is an accurate portrayal?

Yes I watch it and am touched by the portrayal-especially the meltdown in the amusement park and in the grocery store where the man had more than 10 items-I count and if I have 11 item I will not go in the line-and when the other customer called Max that "R" word it upset me greatly.

Ya and the dad Adam POW! Punched the dude EPIC!! !! ! Also I enjoyed there take on empathy. I'm don't have meltdowns such as the amusement park (I don't remember ever having something like that as a kid.) But I will be annoyed that something doesn't go my way. I enjoy there portrayl of Max and Asperger's Syndrome overall. I LOVE the show and HOPE it comes back for a Season 3. I wonder what Max's reaction to the baby news will be I'm predicting meltdown I DON'T WANT YOU TO HAVE ANOTHER BABY!

Max reminds me of me only because of his anxiety. He seems very normal and he doesn't come off as being textbook or a stereotype thank goodness.

I thought Max did good with the empathy at the end but I was sure it was faked because his dad gave him a lesson about it and I am sure he told him to say those things. I used to fake it too and then stopped because I felt like a liar and a fake.

I have not seen many of the episodes with him in it.

I don't watch it regularly, I did see the one where he hadan anxiety (or what I think of as an Asperger anxiety attack) in school. The way they started making the noises of things like pencils tapping and people talking louder and more intense was very realistic to me. I give them credit because when I try to explain to an NT the overwhelming anxiety I have in crowds they don't experience it the same way. That scene was close to it, the only thing missing is that you can't feel the increases in breathing and pulse when something like that happens. If I'm being a little bit too forthcoming, I apologize, it is what I feel and if it helps a non-aspie to understand then I will talk about it.

I watch it. And I approve. When I watch, I have to have my chocolate milk.

OH, and my Mum saw an episode...and she said "that is you!" LOL

I have a bit of a different interpretation of Max and empathy in that episode. I didn't think Max struggled at all to have empathy. I think he struggled to understand how neurotypical cultural conventions are used to display it. He had plenty of empathy - he understood his cousin was hurt, he went to the hospital, he waited, and he wanted her to be ok.

I actually thought it was his parents who struggled with empathy. They showed no empathy for Max and how AS affects him. They told him he could have pancakes, they made him wait too long, and failed to recognize the signs that they had pushed him too far. To top it off, they allowed his grandfather to freak out on him, and then THEY apologized for MAX'S behaviour. The grandfather never apologized to Max for yelling at him, and the father never apologized to Max for not following through on his promise of pancakes.

Max's brain feels empathy, it just prioritizes it in a more logical manner. Max knew that him sitting there indefinitely and being denied pancakes did absolutely nothing to help his cousin. He just needed more time and guidance to understand why other people DO see it as worthwhile to sit there indefinitely.

My husband and I watch the show every week, and we enjoy it. It's a good starting point for our discussions. But this particular episode I felt took a shallow view of Aspergers, and really depicted it in an "Autism Speaks" sort of perspective, rather than a neurodiversity one.

Interesting take on the empathy episode. I saw it more as them trying to show Max that when someone in your family is hurt, in pain, or in need of support, it trumps everything. His focus on the pancakes was taking priority over the needs of the greater family, and therefore seemed inappropriate at a time when one member of the family might be dying. They were all on edge and the desire for pancakes seemed to be disrespectful of the intensity of what was going on. The father was trying hard to get the message through that family trumps everything-and the end scene where max apologizes (even if he was doing it for different reasons) I thought was the culmination of him taking his father's message and putting it into action. I'll admit things in the show seem to evolve at lightening speed, and in real life it might have taken months for that apology to really materialize, but I thought it was a gesture showing that he DID get that message.

But it doesn't trump everything for a young boy with Asperger's. It's a neurotypical social convention. Yes, it is something he needs to learn gradually and gently as he grows up, but having your grandfather scream at you and your parents apologize for you, when in fact it is THEY who are making the mistakes in the scenario, is what I found disrespectful. No one in that scene was respectful of Max's special needs. Not. One. Person.

Understanding that most of the things we do on a daily basis are neurotypical social constructs, and that people with Autism have a radically different - but equally valid - perspective, is part of empathizing with someone who has AS. All of which is the core of the neurodiversity movement.

Empathy is a two-way street. We seem to forget that a lot, in our pursuit of finding ways for our autistic kids to express empathy in neurotypical ways. Over time, they need to learn to express it our way as a sign of respect. But we equally need to learn to respect THEIR way. Where was the respect for Max's way in this episode? This could have been easily remedied by showing the father apologizing for making a committment that he didn't follow through on, and the grandfather apologizing for yelling. I suspect the reason they didn't show that, is because the writers are taking qeues from experts who lack a good foundation in neurodiversity. Past references in the show to Autism Speaks would seem to support that assumption.

I've only watched the show once, but the episode I saw didn't thrill me; it had a triumphant ending that seemed to be about Max learning how to fit his dad's expectations of who he should be rather than the parents learning how to understand who he is. I really should watch it from the beginning though; I have a friend with two autistic kids and she loves it.

i watched this show before i knew my son was aspie....not intentionally either- just drawn to it for some reason, maybe i was meant to watch it for later comparison.
x kel

I just started watching the show. A friend referred me to it after she heard about my son. I watched one current episode and instantly got on netflix to order the first season to watch. I have set through several of the first episodes and told my husband it almost looked like you were watching a show about our life. We are the beginning of our journey with aspergers so I so relate with the feelings of the parents and dealing with learning about it at first. I love the show and plan to watch it regularly now!

I was recently told about the show, and I watched what they have online, which excludes the first season. I have more trouble with the whole Crosby character than Max.

Anyway, they say the show is about the ambiguous nature of parenting. I don't think the writers feel any responsibility to show good practices in handling an aspie child. The goal of the show is to portray as many emotional reactions as they can in a short amount of time.

If they were trying to be realistic, what about the inactivity of the mother? She just sat there while Max built up steam and she only took over once the men were screaming. What mother wouldn't be alert to the early signs of a meltdown? No, they had her sit there so the show could show the emotional impact on the men.

And what about the grandfather? In the show, he's extremely involved in the lives of the grandkids. It's totally unrealistic, to me, to think he hasn't learned anything about AS and would yell at him in a hospital. My child's grandfather doesn't know my son has AS b/c he lives across the country and his religion denys illness and problems. I wouldn't even expect my son's grandfather to yell in a hospital. He'd react more like the mother does initially.

I also think it's funny that the other characters think an aspie has a consistently good memory. Maybe some do but not my son. He only remembers things he deems important.

I think they do a decent job of portraying a realistic aspie. I like Max.