dating advice

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I want to start dating but i find it hard meeting people any advice

You could join an online dating site, if you're comfortable doing that.

I met my partner on a gay dating web site. It was really good because we could message each other and then speak on the phone before meeting face to face. It took the pressure off. It was the first (and only) time I've been successful at meeting someone (which probably means I shouldn't be giving out dating advice).

If you have friends that are happy going to a gay bar, you could ask them to go to one with you. That might be less stressful than going on your own.

Edit: Why am I giving out dating advice? Ignore me.

Ideas for meeting people

For one thing, you should really try to live an active, eventful life. Join clubs, go kayaking or ice skating, get out and do things. If you want to do something silly like burn your fool hide on the nearby beaches, do it. You are young. You have a right for just a little while to be foolish. Enjoy it while you can.

If you're a more placid and laid-back sort or past the 30-mark, probably the best places to find hunks are at the gym or while you're out jogging. In fact, there are gyms out there specifically for us--ahem--sociable types, but you can find people you might be interested in at any such venue.

That pesky first date

Firstly, if you feel absolutely at ease with yourself and completely comfortable with a person on your first date, odds are pretty high that you have absolutely no chemistry together. If you feel awkward and aren't really sure what to say, it's probably going well. If the person you are with doesn't seem the least bit self-conscious and is a little too smooth to believe, odds are pretty stratospheric that he isn't really all that keen on you at heart.

Secondly, don't get too fancy for your first time out. In fact, the most important thing is to take your date somewhere that is relaxing and private in its own right. For example, you might simply want to go out walking for a while, and then maybe hit a Barnes and Noble or something. Your first date is a time for polite conversation and finding out whether you might be interested in getting to know the person you are with a little bit better. Share your interests and some of your philosophical notions.

Grooming and attiring yourself correctly

You are not going to a formal dinner party. If you were, you would spend hours cleaning and primping yourself in the morning and making sure that you are groomed to perfection. At a dating venue, this sort of behavior is like going out with a glowing sign over your head reading, "when I'm not angling for a date, I don't wash my armpits." You want to follow the most basic principles of hygeine, and go out with your hair looking respectable but not not overly sculpted.

Quick tip: shoot your hair spray into the air to create a mist, and then simply walk through it. If necessary, repeat once. In the holy name of Christ, don't use gel unless someone has bothered to teach you how to use it properly.

Your attire should be appropriate for the venue you are going to, and the only way you can sort that out is to go there and see how everyone else attires themselves. However, no matter what you put on, it should be new, clean and pressed, and that's even if you're putting on a bright red cotton t-shirt to take a trip out to the gym. This behavior tells people, "right now, I want to make a good impression on you. I want someone to come up to me and say 'hello'."

Shopping advice: you really should find out what name brands are well respected in your area. You have to spend the extra buck on it, but self-respecting people normally don't want to go up and talk to a person who looks like a walking thrift store. Even the sandals you wear to the beach have to be something a little more thought-out than funnyfoam flip-flops. It's not about showing that you have money because that's entirely beside the point: it's about respect, both for yourself and for your society.

How to be interesting

1) For the love of God, do something creative. Collect something. Play an instrument. I don't care what it is, but it would enrich your character in a big way to actually spend time learning new skills. You don't have to be good at them. They just have to be good for you. The very fact that you try will come out in your mannerisms.

2) If you are of appropriate age to drink and aren't a teetotalar, learn your cocktails, and try to find ones that have humorous-sounding names. You should also learn all of the places in town that have the best selection of beers, and you should educate yourself on the differences between one type of brew and another. For example, you should know which Belgian Quadrupels are getting a lot of acclaim lately.

3) If you drink coffee or tea, you should do exactly the same thing you would do with your booze. Learn some of the background and culture behind the blend that you prefer to have. If you drink Prince of Wales tea, for example, you should understand the origin of the stuff. You should have a favorite brand.

4) Don't just listen mindlessly to the music that is playing on the radio. Have enough respect to investigate into the history of a good band, and know the names and favored instruments of each member. If you do listen to radio, you should learn something about the background behind the station you listen to, so you can say things like, "I really like this guy. He does so-and-so. There was this one time he did such-and-such, and I laughed so hard I cried."

5) Pick one aspect of history to study. You only really have to be super-conversant in one aspect of one branch of history or human culture, and you should know it to the whiskers under the nose of King Edward's pooch. It is a way of demonstrating a sense of respect and reverence for where you come from, and it makes for good conversation.

6) You have an autistic spectrum disorder. Well, that counts toward making you interesting, but also consider where on the list this has appeared: it's at the bottom, where it belongs. It does indeed count toward your overall character that you are ASD, but be careful not to let it become the center of your identity.
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Anyhow, I hope that I have managed to be helpful, here. Best of luck to you, neighbor.

I would say that the best advice I can offer is to get out of the house and get involved in activities that interest you. It doesn't matter what it is: sport, music, theatre, kite flying, working out... whatever it is, there are likely other gay people who are interested in getting involved in the same thing.

Not to mention the fact that it is a place to make new friends, who are often a very good way to meet potential dates. ("I have this friend. I think you two would get along really well....")