A break......A holiday for only mummies and/or daddies

Page 1 of 1 [ 12 posts ] 

Solvejg
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 2 Mar 2011
Age: 40
Gender: Female
Posts: 6,558
Location: gondwana

10 May 2011, 5:06 am

Would you as a parent leave your ASD child with someone, who you know would look after them for a few weeks so you could go on a holiday and have a break?


_________________
I love diggin' in the dirt
With just a pick and brush
Finding fossils is my aim
So I'm never in a rush


cyberdad
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 21 Feb 2011
Age: 58
Gender: Male
Posts: 36,036

10 May 2011, 5:25 am

Solvejg wrote:
Would you as a parent leave your ASD child with someone, who you know would look after them for a few weeks so you could go on a holiday and have a break?


No, I wouldn't leave my daughter even my mother...



Solvejg
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 2 Mar 2011
Age: 40
Gender: Female
Posts: 6,558
Location: gondwana

10 May 2011, 5:54 am

cyberdad wrote:
Solvejg wrote:
Would you as a parent leave your ASD child with someone, who you know would look after them for a few weeks so you could go on a holiday and have a break?


No, I wouldn't leave my daughter even my mother...


why not?


_________________
I love diggin' in the dirt
With just a pick and brush
Finding fossils is my aim
So I'm never in a rush


keiko
Hummingbird
Hummingbird

User avatar

Joined: 13 Jan 2011
Age: 53
Gender: Female
Posts: 21

10 May 2011, 11:06 am

I think 6 days would be my max and I would need to be very comfortable with the caregiver. My parents could probably do 6 days pretty well with some management over the telephone. I would be worried about the extreme stress a long absence would cause the kids. In my case they don't deal well with change. Even when we all go on vacation as a family we get tears and begging to go home after about four days. All this of course needs to be balanced with your need to get a well deserved "break".



Bombaloo
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 31 Mar 2010
Age: 55
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,483
Location: Big Sky Country

10 May 2011, 3:10 pm

One night away with my husband would be a fantastic vacation at this point! That's probably all I would consider one night, maybe 2. I just am really unsure how youngest would do. We did go out to a movie last time G'ma & Papa were in town for a visit but the boys were still up when we got home so not sure that was a rousing success!



draelynn
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 24 Jan 2011
Age: 57
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,304
Location: SE Pennsylvania

10 May 2011, 3:19 pm

Depends on the child and the caregiver. I could leave my daughter in the care of one or two people confidently. Her issues are not severe. If she had more sensory issues, I probably wouldn't be comfortable leaving her in the care of someone who didn't thoroughly understand wwhat was going on or how to handle it. I have found that concerned family members can be very supportive yet remain remarkably ignorant at the same time.



Washi
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 25 Nov 2010
Gender: Female
Posts: 804

10 May 2011, 4:59 pm

Solvejg wrote:
cyberdad wrote:
Solvejg wrote:
Would you as a parent leave your ASD child with someone, who you know would look after them for a few weeks so you could go on a holiday and have a break?


No, I wouldn't leave my daughter even my mother...


why not?


I won't leave my son with even my own Mom either, and I trust her with him more than anyone else. Why? Because I did try leaving him with her a few times when he was younger and she could not get him to eat, so she gave him things he shouldn't have instead against my wishes and made him sick. She never calls to ask me if it's OK to give him something new, or to ask any questions I might be able to help with and she doesn't call to let me know if he's going all day without eating. Even after being warned not to, she gave him a bath with regular perfumed soap and he broke out in a rash. Her house also isn't childproofed. I could go on.



Kailuamom
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 13 Jul 2010
Gender: Female
Posts: 660

10 May 2011, 5:38 pm

Three weeks would probably be too long, but we can manage a few days. We make sure that he gets to do as much as he wants of fun stuff. We leave $$ to go to his favorite places and do his favorite things. We treat this like a holiday for him at home.

Recently we had to do this as DS was unwilling/unable to go with us, and I had to go (it was business). One of our good friends was willing to just focus on him. She let him sleep in bed with her, she rubbed his back, she really showed him a good time. It would be OK with one of my SILs too. I don't think most people could pull it off though.

Boy - I have to say - even though I worked 13 hour days, the break was AWESOME!! ! (I find it pretty sad that I thought 13 hour workdays were a break).



DW_a_mom
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 22 Feb 2008
Gender: Female
Posts: 13,689
Location: Northern California

10 May 2011, 9:44 pm

We've left the kids overnight with Grandma once or twice for an anniversary weekend, but the idea of giving myself a break to give myself a break ... not on my radar. I am lucky that the kids have a great relationship with my mom, are comfortable in her home, and that she knows how to deal with their quirks. But, still, unless it's for work or something super special, I wouldn't dream of asking.


_________________
Mom to an amazing young adult AS son, plus an also amazing non-AS daughter. Most likely part of the "Broader Autism Phenotype" (some traits).


cyberdad
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 21 Feb 2011
Age: 58
Gender: Male
Posts: 36,036

11 May 2011, 2:37 am

Solvejg wrote:
cyberdad wrote:
Solvejg wrote:
Would you as a parent leave your ASD child with someone, who you know would look after them for a few weeks so you could go on a holiday and have a break?

No, I wouldn't leave my daughter even my mother...

why not?


My mother is not really not the maternal type. Plus she lives interstate so it's not going to happen. When she visits I sometimes consider leaving her with my daughter and going for dinner with my wife. But then she lasts all of 15 minutes before coming and asking me something or other about her (my daughter's) behaviour and what to do?,My wife's mom is much better but she doesn't live in our state either.

The idea of leaving my daughter overnight with anyone is else is simply not going to happen. However my daughter goes to school 9am-3pm and during that time she seems to manage (although she poked one of the teachers with a pencil today!) but overnight is a completely different kettle of fish, Shall I list the issues?
- food (she doesn't eat other peoples food)
- bedroom (she'll not sleep unless we are there to tuck her in and read a story)
- house (we tried home carers once and she hated being in somebody else's house without us around)
- brushing teeth (she wont do it unless it's her favourite toothbrush in her own bathroom)
- entertainment (only likes computer based stuff we supply...not blocks or dollies) having said this she is playing with toys today as she is on probation for poking her teacher.



nostromo
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 12 Mar 2010
Age: 58
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,320
Location: At Festively Plump

11 May 2011, 5:14 am

Some friends of ours took our son away a few weeks ago, he was away for three nights with them, we were really worried about..well him being happy and safe, but the friends are also his therapists and kindy teacher so know him the next best compared to us, and see him every day almost, and the place was fenced and they all knew the drill about shutting gates etc.
We worried before hand, I imagined him lost and just wandering, unable to talk..or sitting in the middle of a road playing with gravel, just about anything I could do to worry.
But he enjoyed it very much, he had four kids to run after him, and he was away in an interesting different environment - he likes change really, I'm sure he gets bored here :D There was also a huge pile of lego to lose himself in if it got a bit much and he needed to zone out. He actually came home happy and full of life and with much improved communication for a while, in short it was good for him and us.



nostromo
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 12 Mar 2010
Age: 58
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,320
Location: At Festively Plump

11 May 2011, 5:14 am

Some friends of ours took our son away a few weeks ago, he was away for three nights with them, we were really worried about..well him being happy and safe, but the friends are also his therapists and kindy teacher so know him the next best compared to us, and see him every day almost, and the place was fenced and they all knew the drill about shutting gates etc.
We worried before hand, I imagined him lost and just wandering, unable to talk..or sitting in the middle of a road playing with gravel, just about anything I could do to worry.
But he enjoyed it very much, he had four kids to run after him, and he was away in an interesting different environment - he likes change really, I'm sure he gets bored here :D There was also a huge pile of lego to lose himself in if it got a bit much and he needed to zone out. He actually came home happy and full of life and with much improved communication for a while, in short it was good for him and us.