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stripey
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08 Aug 2006, 3:43 pm

The other night i went out with my NT friend usually this is fine, but this time he brought along his girlfriend and her cousin. I clammed up and could not think of anything to say, as the evening wore on they made remarks such as Mr chatterbox e.t.c this got to me and hit home how inept i am in a social group.I give up and will not be going out with a group ever again it's impossible.



krex
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08 Aug 2006, 3:52 pm

I have never learned how to communicate in groups...I dont know when to talk and end up interupting at the wrong times and getting strange looks,but I think its unfair to "blame" you for not being talkitive...when someone is talking about some thing I am interested in I am a great listener and love to talk...just not interested in alot of the same things as other people and hate small talk...


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mysteriouslyabsent
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09 Aug 2006, 6:24 pm

I usually avoid large groups for that reason. Smaller groups of 5 or less and I can sort of get away with it, but anymore and my brain turns to mush.



atxa
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09 Aug 2006, 11:59 pm

Hello Stripey,

stripey wrote:
could not think of anything to say


I have a lot of troubles in a group of people that I don't know, and a lot of times in that situation it disturb those people and sometime they don't accept me cause I don't speak very much.

stripey wrote:
this got to me and hit home how inept i am in a social group. I give up and will not be going out with a group ever again it's impossible.


Don't think like that, try to find what you could do the next time, try to think about bad situations that you got, maybe you will find what to do now if it happen again.

Now sometime when I have troubles to speak I will say in some way that I don't speak too much or I do jokes about that and it's more easier to communicate with those people.

To be Asperger is not a problem but normal peoples make you think that you are a problem, things are like that and a lot of times we can't do nothing unfortunetly.

Sorry I'm not able to say what I want cause my english is so bad and I'm tired.

See ya !



walktheline
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10 Aug 2006, 2:07 am

i gave up on group settings. instead i do things that are solo pursuits among people. until i figure out a better way, it'll do. every now and again someone enters my isolated little world and that is a dilly, even if its only brief 8)



rark
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10 Aug 2006, 5:21 am

Heh, they call me Mr. Personality at work since I walk around silent all day with the expression range of a parsnip.



larsenjw92286
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10 Aug 2006, 8:06 am

Going out with a bunch of NT people is hard, but going out with people with AS serves as a comfort to me.


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AlexUK
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10 Aug 2006, 2:28 pm

Having have to work late friday and saturday nights i often have groups of 2 to 4 people in my taxi and some of the things i hear just makes me feel proud to have Aspergers. There are plenty of horrible times when a drunk(often a woman) will look at me while driving and say i dont look happy and they start going on about how i should be out with them. What is it with NTs and having to be with others just because its nightime and a certain day of the week, i dont want to rant but these "groups" are so lame and narrow-minded. Im just wound up becuase its friday tomorrow.

There is so much i could write about the taxi but dont want to bore everyone here just yet.



Musical_Lottie
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10 Aug 2006, 4:58 pm

Actually, I prefer groups. that way there's less chance of it being noticed that I'm just pretty much an observer. I find within my own friendship group we tend to have our own little conversations within the group anyway, each between 2 or 3 people, which is good. But otherwise, I prefer groups especially if I'm not close to the people - as I said, I can observe and it'll be unnoticed.

I hate going out with a friend and their friend who I don't know. It terrifies me, and if it's a girl/boyfriend then I hate that because I then just feel like gooseberry.


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Morphia
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11 Aug 2006, 11:35 am

I'm with musical lottie. Larger groups are helpful for hiding in and people often don't notice you. But having to talk to one or two people you don't really know and have no shared interests with can be really hard. I allways have a hard time knowing what to say and usually end up talking crazy, which is fine in a tolerant group but can get you odd looks and stuff. Better to stay quiet.
People also often tell me to cheer up or ask me if i'm ok because i'm quiet and look gloomy i guess, when often i've just got nothing to say or am busy thinking about something more interesting then socialising, with is pretty much anything!! !


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