The spark phenomenon

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I’d like to see how others people’s experiences compare to mine. I felt an attraction to my previous girlfriend very quickly once I started talking to her, the same with the most recent girl who I wished to ask out. When I went against my first impression in this regard it turned out to be a mistake that I was thankfully able to rectify without any damage, certainly a lesson learned.

Have others had this occur or has their romantic attraction arisen over time from a platonic starting point?

it's been both ways for me - instant & built up over time. with my husband, my breath stopped and i froze momentarily in place when i first saw him. something about the impression he gave was quite shockingly attractive to me. but with some people i got to know them first and the attraction built with time.

Well, my only example was one of spark which went completely against how I thought falling for someone would be like.

what did the spark feel like? and how did you expect it to feel?

It’s never been that strong for me before, I guess if it ever does I better do something.

Sorry if this is too personal, but do you think the point at which the attraction developed had a longer term effect on the relationship?

erm, not much is personal to me.

my answer is yes. for me, the instant attraction was more likely to last long-term than the slow buildup. the slow buildup was less magnetic and ultimately didn't last very long at all. i can't really think of why.

It was difficult to percieve. But I just had this immediate, unsatisfiable urge just to be near her. When near her I felt a small headache and light chested. I could feel my blood warm up on my neck and wrists.

This is interesting given some of the, I’ll called it debatable, information and advice elsewhere on WP regarding men gaining the interest of women. Perhaps without a moment of strong mutual attraction, whatever methods a man attempts will at best have the odds heavily stacked against any success.

I have to get to know someone before I want any kind of relationship with them.

that's such a beautiful sentiment. i was interested to know how it felt for you. for me, it was almost like a "fight-or-flight" feeling, sort of. that sounds bad as i wasn't afraid at all. just that the world *stopped* in a way.



i think it's different for each person - we are all unique.

I completely agree.

My 2 cents on the feelings at the attraction moment, In my case it was a strong desire to talk to her as much as possible about subjects of mutual interest. She was a great conversationalist and we could talk for hours. Unfortunately, such was my desire to talk to her that I sometimes said things without a fully formed thought. Thankfully nothing disastrous was said, only things that seemed in retrospect to not quiet come across as I intended.





Touché

Last edited by ICY on 21 May 2011, 3:55 am, edited 2 times in total.

My current relationship had a rather interesting beginning. We've been together for a year and four months, but I've known her for around six years. There was an approximately two year period during which we really didn't talk at all. I became rather socially withdrawn, and then I moved out of state for a year. A few months after I moved back home, she somewhat out of the blue invited me to a party. I was rather reluctant to go, but I went and I had a lot of fun. I spent the night and reconnected with her a bit. The next day, we were doing some mundane stuff around the house to clean up, and that was when I realized I wanted her. I remember the exact moment. She was putting laundry detergent in a cabinet, of all things, and it just hit me that I wanted her. The thought had not crossed my mind before. It was so random. I had never experienced the feeling of "wanting" someone before.

It turned out that she had liked me for about three years prior.