how do people feel about going Dutch,

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i.e., splitting the bill on dates? just curious.

I don't have an issue with it, but it's not really my thing. I honestly think the person that did the asking should do the paying.

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It depends on what you want. If you really want to date a girl, on the first date you have to pay for the whole thing. Why? Because the penis goes into the vagina. That's why men need to take the initiative. The first date should be casual, unless you are dating someone who is less than casual. If it's a New York socialite whore, then fancy restaurants all day every day. But McDs isn't a good idea either. I know at my age, Panera Bread is always the best bet. Girls love Panera Bread.

Now, if you split the bill on the first date, she will think you aren't ready to make a commitment. I know, "But it's the first date!" You never get a second chance to make a first impression. If the first impression is that you want her, she will fall back to that impression when she isn't quite sure what to think, which always happens eventually. (Everyone gets confused sometimes you know) Often times that first impression is the difference between her answering the phone and her ignoring your calls.

I answered under the assumption that he was going to ask a girl out for a date. I know one guy who said that a girl took him out for a dinner and expected him to pay for it. Of course, he didn't, and she got mad. But yeah, it depends on who is doing the asking, and it also depends on who wears the pants.

I wouldn't have paid, either, if I was him.

I'm not sure what you mean by the bolded, though.

i feel strange if i don't pay half, like i am a gold digger or something.

Yup, the English made up the phrase because of their low regard for the Dutch. I used to think it was a local thing, since there are so many of Dutch ancestry around here, and Dutch are known to to stingy, penny-pinching.

I think you mean the saying that you pull "A dutch uncle" on someone were you pretend you've lost your "card" or have no money on you so the other person has to pay the whole bill

Anyway, you guys get it easy compared to the Welsh, Irish and French for lame english humour

I think it's the most fair and reasonable way to go about dating. I always assumed it was called "going Dutch" because it's more common in Holland... their culture in general seems exceptionally fair and reasonable to me.

That just... defies all logic.

Going Dutch is how I prefer things to be. It's kind of insulting to have guys presume that I can't pay for my own meal and that I need to be taken care of.

I'm with Who_Am_I. I'd like to see your thought process here diagrammed out, Mindslave. That would be an interesting diagram.

I've always preferred splitting the bill and that's nothing unusual where I'm from. I feel it puts less pressure on both sides and I only accepted invitations to pay for a meal etc from people I already knew well enough and whom I invite on my turn.

More sophicated women have expressed that they expect to share expenses. That doesn't mean splitting every bill, though. I'd suggest you pay for the first one, and if she offers to split it, then say something like "you can get the next one." Some feminists will get pissed if you insist on paying every time.

I have never dated a more traditional woman for any length of time, so I don't know. I don't find them as forthright as the feminists, and with Aspergers, I guess I've been more clueless than most guys about what women really want. I'd prefer to cook a date a meal than go out and eat, anyway, as it's one of my more impressive skills.

I'm not a feminist but to me someone insisting on paying every time sends a red flag about having control issues.

In my experience, most women will find a man wanting to cook for them very sexy

Well, my thought process goes like this. The whole point of dating and courtship is the lead up to mating. Dating itself is a societal construct. Mating is a biological construct. Attraction is also biological. Women simply cannot be attracted to girly men any more than men can be attracted to super aggressive bodybuilding women. Now sure, there are women who like super quiet, dorky guys and men who like super aggressive women, but it's usually a fantasy that doesn't translate well into reality.

Now, this isn't to say that the guy always has to pay. That assumes that all women and all men are the same. Even so, just like the importance of fundamentals in tennis or other activities, the basic fundamental is that the guy makes the first move, because the girl is going to react to it. Girls are more reactive than guys are. This is why guys aren't as grossed out by fart jokes. So at the end of the day, the answer to the bill question depends on who is dating, just like any other situation. The best way to do things is the way you would do it. If your first instinct is to Dutch the bill, then that's what should be done. Don't tell your gut what to do, your gut should tell you what to do. Personally, when I see a girl that wants me to pay for everything, I also see a girl that needs diapers. I prefer paying on the first date just to send the message of "I've got your back" and then after that, she can pay for everything