If you get into trouble due to poor social skills

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Do you explain that you're an aspie? Would that help anything or just make people angrier, thinking you're using excuses?

Among people I encountered it seems many of them are very sensitive if you don't do or say the right thing, but they're not exactly the understanding type and probably won't bother to understand your brain difference. What do you do to make up with them without too much resentment? I know, just ignore them, but what if you have to keep peace with them?

I just apologize. What more can I do?

I suppose. My biggest problem seems to be if I make an insensitive comment on something or someone, people always seem to try to "educate" me by saying things like "put yourself into their shoes and you'd be the same" "imagine if you're them how would you feel about people saying such things"...etc. I appreciate their effort to try to be fair, but that doesn't work for me. I tried to imagine being others, and I still don't get why they'd be offended. Then I just end up feeling like these people are irrational and overly critical.

Maybe it would have been best if I were lower functioning and less verbal. If you don't speak you can't say much wrong. People expect you to be normal if you can talk.

What if you ask the person who is upset to explain what their problem is but they won't? They go off in a huff and I can't possibly understand what I said that upset her, only that I have. I ask for feedback and have told this lady multiple times that I'm often misunderstood and, if in doubt, just ask.

There are some people you just can't please at the end of the day.

I get myself in trouble a lot on WP, due to not thinking before I post. I've recently made a comment about a mother on Dr. Phil, who had a son with both Down Syndrome and Autism. I really put my foot in my mouth. Another member got really mad at me and than I backed down and apologized like I usually do. Why can't I have an opinion without the possibility of me wanting to run and hide for a few months, like I did in my past due to the hurt feelings of both parties? I am not my role model. I'm striving to be like him. I make mistakes every now and again.

Last edited by CockneyRebel on 24 May 2011, 9:04 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I've got a big problem with people thinking I'm sarcastic when I'm being sincere. It really pisses people off. It's happened so often that I can recognize it, and when I do, I always apologize and tell them that I didn't mean to be sarcastic. It usually works. Like sammich said, what more can you do?

I haven't told anyone that I'm an aspie. I don't want them thinking I'm weirder than I already am.

My problem isn't usually what I say, as I've become very good at censoring that, but how I say it. People tell me I'm rude like Jamie Hyneman, but when I'm talking to people I don't usually hear myself that way. As I said, all I can say is "I'm sorry", but even that doesn't work because apparently I sound rude saying that too.

I'm always getting into trouble for things I say. However, I can't say I have Aspergers because I haven't been able to get a formal DX yet. Makes life very complicated.

Even the people that know rarely understand.

If I was an NT and behaved and spoke in the way I do, I would probably be mean. But being AS I feel like it's not intended to be rude or intrusive (usually). Like a comedian who wishes that no one was offended but can't help but tell jokes that some people take offense to. I don't mean to act in an inappropriate way, it's just what I do. I try to be polite and kind but because my brain works differently I often do or say something that is socially not acceptable.

And If I get stressed, or angry then I usually say how I feel.

NTs communicate differently and expect us to do the same, even if they know we are AS, they will still look at us from an NT perspective.

The saying 'I'm not a mind reader' will soon be tattooed on my forehead.

Those who would even know what an "aspie" was would probably just think I was peddling excuses.
Everyone else would just wonder what the hell I was talking about and think me to be even stranger than they already did because of the aforementioned poor social skills.

So no, I don't bring it up.
If I can remember to, I apologize and attempt to repair the damage.
If not, I usually just plow ahead like nothing happened, which makes other people angry and hurt.

This is probably why I have no friends. Hmmm, yes.

When I STFU it hardly ever happens. Only when I am in conversation can this occur to me.

I have destroyed so many chances at friendship and made so many people hostile at me because of my weak social skills and low empathy. I remember one time when I was talking to this girl in Latin class in Junior Year of high school, I suggested that she put some cream on her face for her acme, or was it zits, and this clearly hurt her and we never talked after that. I have many instances like that, in real life and online. I have been kicked from so many forums, its depressing. I have given up on making friends, it just wouldn't work.