Telling the difference between single & taken?

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crmoore
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25 May 2011, 10:22 am

One of my biggest hangups about asking women out on dates (or lack thereof) has been my inability to tell whether or not they're single & available or they have a significant other. As far back as I can remember, I could never tell the difference except for the most obvious of clues (mentioning their boyfriend in a conversation, talking to them w/ their boyfriend by their side, etc.). I know life isn't a Facebook profile where you can clearly see their relationship status. Is there any way to tell the difference (besides said obvious clues) between someone who's single and someone who has a significant other?



Tequila
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25 May 2011, 10:27 am

A wedding ring if they are married?



crmoore
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25 May 2011, 11:09 am

Tequila wrote:
A wedding ring if they are married?

One small problem there: how do I tell the difference between an engagement/wedding ring and a regular ring?



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25 May 2011, 11:11 am

crmoore wrote:
Tequila wrote:
A wedding ring if they are married?

One small problem there: how do I tell the difference between an engagement/wedding ring and a regular ring?

Engagement/wedding ring is on the left hand ring finger.



MXH
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25 May 2011, 11:12 am

crmoore wrote:
Tequila wrote:
A wedding ring if they are married?

One small problem there: how do I tell the difference between an engagement/wedding ring and a regular ring?


Finger. Any ring on the left hand ring finger means she's taken for good. Though most in normal relationships dont have rings.



Mindslave
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25 May 2011, 11:19 am

How do you tell the difference? You ask her out on a date, and if she is taken, she will respond with "I have a boyfriend" If she isn't taken, she might still respond with "I have a boyfriend" but if you show more interest in her anyway, she will either remind you again, or she will be impressed by your bravery. You don't need to tell her twice if she has a boyfriend. That's what he is for.



MONKEY
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25 May 2011, 11:28 am

Ask her.


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spongy
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25 May 2011, 11:44 am

It has been said before but I´ll say it once again just to make sure that you understand.

The only way of getting over the fear of asking someone out is by actually doing it until you reach a point where a rejection isnt the end of the world.

I know this sounds like a lot of work but I was on a similar situation(if not worse)I was unable to ask anyone to hang out sometime or something because I was afraid of rejection. The only thing that got me through that was asking people to do something and learning that you may be rejected every now and then but that happens to everyone.

Im still struggling with the gathering the courage to ask a girl out but Im getting around it by asking girls out and facing any possible outcome on dating sites. Hopefully soon I´ll be able to do it irl withot sttutering.



ToadOfSteel
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25 May 2011, 12:08 pm

Facebook...



TeaEarlGreyHot
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25 May 2011, 12:12 pm

MONKEY wrote:
Ask her.


This ^^

If you want to know something, ask. It's that simple, really.


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Tequila
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25 May 2011, 12:59 pm

TeaEarlGreyHot wrote:
If you want to know something, ask. It's that simple, really.


If you know someone, though, it's much easier. Asking random strangers is scary.



TeaEarlGreyHot
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25 May 2011, 1:13 pm

Tequila wrote:
TeaEarlGreyHot wrote:
If you want to know something, ask. It's that simple, really.


If you know someone, though, it's much easier. Asking random strangers is scary.


Why would you want to ask a random stranger out on a date, though?


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25 May 2011, 2:39 pm

I tend to find a bit out about a girl before I ask her out. So I indirectly find out whether she is single or not just by asking her harmless questions about her life, and just making light conversation. This way I don't seem too forward but it is apparent that I am interested in her, but perhaps not yet in a romantic sense


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Tequila
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25 May 2011, 2:44 pm

TeaEarlGreyHot wrote:
Why would you want to ask a random stranger out on a date, though?


If it was someone you knew more than just a woman you'd talked to briefly a few times but that you obviously fancied the pants off.

So a friendship first would be more helpful than simply asking. I think it's a fine line. You don't want to go asking women friends you've known for years or those you suspect aren't interested in you, but you don't want to go hitting on random women unless you just want your balls slapping her ass.



Last edited by Tequila on 25 May 2011, 2:54 pm, edited 1 time in total.

TeaEarlGreyHot
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25 May 2011, 2:51 pm

Tequila wrote:
TeaEarlGreyHot wrote:
Why would you want to ask a random stranger out on a date, though?


If it was someone you knew more than just a woman you'd talked to briefly a few times but that you obviously fancied the pants off.

So a friendship first would be more helpful than simply asking. I think it's a fine line. You don't want to go asking women friends you've known for years or those you suspect aren't interested on you, but you don't want to go hitting on random women unless you just want your balls slapping her ass.


Exactly my point.


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25 May 2011, 2:59 pm

If the relationship status is posted on facebook that is the easiest way. Even so, that is not 100% reliable.

You can ask, but I have two warnings about that.

1. There's a good chance he/she'll lie either way. Not everybody is loyal to their significant other, and some will lie about their relationship status if they want to enter in to a fling. Or she might say she has a boyfriend when she really doesn't because she isn't interested.

2. It took me a while to figure this one out. Whenever you ask someone whether they are single or not is a loaded question, to NTs there is writing in between the lines when asking that question. You are implying that you are interested. If you are interested this is a good route provided you aren't lied to. If you aren't interested but just curious then you shouldn't ask the question.

If you get to know her over time it will become apparent, but that is risking being friend zoned.

I wouldn't recommend stalking. :P

If you know any friends of the person in question asking them can get you an answer.

And, if you think the person is hot. Probably taken. :wall:


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