Am I good enough for a good man?

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Erisad
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25 May 2011, 7:52 pm

Sometimes I wonder. Lately I've been talking with guys on OkCupid. Three of them just stopped messaging me outright. The other kept talking to me. He was nice at first and then he said something to the effect of, "if you had a smaller stomach, you'd be hot" and "your glasses are nerdy. Get ones that don't have as round frames" and stuff like that and then he started complaining that he gets discouraged by how many girls online don't return his messages when I did just that. I'm guessing I wasn't good enough for him.

Then I saw a romantic quote about guys who accept women for who they are and I started to cry because I knew there wasn't one for me. There isn't a white knight for everyone. Some of us are bound to be alone for the rest of their lives like my mom and grandmother. My dad left us 20 years ago and grandpa died before I was born and both my mom and grandma have been alone ever since. Where are the good men they deserve? Simple. They don't exist for them and they won't for me either.

I have to get thin so I stand a chance of getting married one day. I don't want to spend my entire life alone or in abusive relationships. I want a good man who gives a s**t about me and isn't constantly trying to turn me into something I'm not. Is that too much to ask? I'm starting to think it is. Who the hell wants a fat girlfriend anyway? I should stop kidding myself and just give up as no one would ever love a hideous creature like me. :cry:



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25 May 2011, 7:58 pm

never give up and I know that no one wants me either because I am TOFU-(too old,fat,ugly) so keep hanging in there you still have time.


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Erisad
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25 May 2011, 8:04 pm

Radiofixr wrote:
never give up and I know that no one wants me either because I am TOFU-(too old,fat,ugly) so keep hanging in there you still have time.


But the best times of my life are to be had when I'm young. And young men only want thin and beautiful women. Girls like me are either ignored or abused/cheated on. What's a girl gotta do to get some love? Apart from lose 70-100 pounds. What good will finding a man be once I'm too old to have children? I've dreamed of being a mother longer than I can remember. If I can't accomplish that in my life, I would consider myself a failure. It's something so easily achieved but I can't do it because I'm just too fat and ugly. :(



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25 May 2011, 8:08 pm

though you still have time-you are young and youth is desired-I am in a gray area too old for young people and too young for older people-and I am big but a lot smaller than I was 5 years ago and it still didn't help because of my social awkwardness. You still have plenty of time and life will surprise you!


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Erisad
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25 May 2011, 8:14 pm

Radiofixr wrote:
though you still have time-you are young and youth is desired-I am in a gray area too old for young people and too young for older people-and I am big but a lot smaller than I was 5 years ago and it still didn't help because of my social awkwardness. You still have plenty of time and life will surprise you!


No it won't. I'll keep trying and I'll continue being disappointed. Men will continue to hurt me until I'm beautiful, then I'll be something of value to them. Time means nothing to me if I'm going to be alone for most of the time. This is why I feared graduating college. I'm home almost all the time because I can't find a job, I have no car so I'm completely dependent on other people to get around. I just want to be rescued from this place and live somewhere where I may have a chance to find love, although it seems unlikely to happen in America, land of the most shallow men in the world where only the thin are considered beautiful. :(



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25 May 2011, 8:16 pm

I understand that more than you know-enough said.


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ToadOfSteel
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25 May 2011, 8:37 pm

Erisad wrote:
Am I good enough for a good man?


I don't know... would you consider me a good man?



Erisad
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25 May 2011, 8:48 pm

ToadOfSteel wrote:
Erisad wrote:
Am I good enough for a good man?


I don't know... would you consider me a good man?


*sigh* You seem like a sweet guy, although I'm not sure how our chemistry would be from the internet alone. I'm just tired of finding a guy that I have chemistry with and then he criticizes me heavily when I'd never do that to him. :(



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25 May 2011, 8:56 pm

Erisad wrote:
Sometimes I wonder. Lately I've been talking with guys on OkCupid. Three of them just stopped messaging me outright. The other kept talking to me. He was nice at first and then he said something to the effect of, "if you had a smaller stomach, you'd be hot" and "your glasses are nerdy. Get ones that don't have as round frames" and stuff like that and then he started complaining that he gets discouraged by how many girls online don't return his messages when I did just that. I'm guessing I wasn't good enough for him.

Then I saw a romantic quote about guys who accept women for who they are and I started to cry because I knew there wasn't one for me. There isn't a white knight for everyone. Some of us are bound to be alone for the rest of their lives like my mom and grandmother. My dad left us 20 years ago and grandpa died before I was born and both my mom and grandma have been alone ever since. Where are the good men they deserve? Simple. They don't exist for them and they won't for me either.

I have to get thin so I stand a chance of getting married one day. I don't want to spend my entire life alone or in abusive relationships. I want a good man who gives a sh** about me and isn't constantly trying to turn me into something I'm not. Is that too much to ask? I'm starting to think it is. Who the hell wants a fat girlfriend anyway? I should stop kidding myself and just give up as no one would ever love a hideous creature like me. :cry:


This guy tells you not-so-nice things, and wonders why girls don't reply to his messages? Sounds like that guy has problems. Guys who tell you they'd like you if only you were skinnier are a-holes and not worth your time.



Erisad
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25 May 2011, 9:04 pm

SyphonFilter wrote:
This guy tells you not-so-nice things, and wonders why girls don't reply to his messages? Sounds like that guy has problems. Guys who tell you they'd like you if only you were skinnier are a-holes and not worth your time.


Sadly, this is the best I can get. Until I'm beautiful, I'll have to put up with it. :(



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25 May 2011, 9:06 pm

Erisad, you are beautiful. Being thin doesn't = beauty. Beauty comes from within. A person who only likes someone due to how they look is shallow and not worth a grain of salt in a relationship.

Thin women get abused too. Hell I am a smart articulate "skinny" (i want to put on weight) tall blonde pale woman with a huge chest and i tend to get stuck in abusive relationships. Hell i have had to go to emergency before because of an incident.

My brother is a 6'4" man who is what is many women consider HOT. He could walk up to any woman and make them swoon. He is also a qualified Neuroscientist. He fell in love with a 5'2" morbidly obese woman with Narcissistic and Borderline personality disorders.

Someone will love you Erisad, they will fall heavily in love with you and treat you wonderful. You don't need lots of men, just one. The right man will come along.


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Erisad
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25 May 2011, 9:21 pm

Solvejg wrote:
Erisad, you are beautiful. Being thin doesn't = beauty. Beauty comes from within. A person who only likes someone due to how they look is shallow and not worth a grain of salt in a relationship.

Thin women get abused too. Hell I am a smart articulate "skinny" (i want to put on weight) tall blonde pale woman with a huge chest and i tend to get stuck in abusive relationships. Hell i have had to go to emergency before because of an incident.

My brother is a 6'4" man who is what is many women consider HOT. He could walk up to any woman and make them swoon. He is also a qualified Neuroscientist. He fell in love with a 5'2" morbidly obese woman with Narcissistic and Borderline personality disorders.

Someone will love you Erisad, they will fall heavily in love with you and treat you wonderful. You don't need lots of men, just one. The right man will come along.


Mr. Right better hurry the f**k up. I don't want to waste my time with all these as*holes for much longer. He must need a f*****g GPS if he hasn't found me by now. I'm not that hard to find. D:



ToadOfSteel
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26 May 2011, 1:29 am

Erisad wrote:
*sigh* You seem like a sweet guy, although I'm not sure how our chemistry would be from the internet alone. I'm just tired of finding a guy that I have chemistry with and then he criticizes me heavily when I'd never do that to him. :(


Have you ever known me to outright criticize you? I mean yeah I might have gotten quite a bit annoyed whenever you and emlion were filling this forum with way too much happy for all the lonely hearts here to handle, but I don't ever recall outright criticizing you...



Erisad
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26 May 2011, 6:31 am

ToadOfSteel wrote:
Erisad wrote:
*sigh* You seem like a sweet guy, although I'm not sure how our chemistry would be from the internet alone. I'm just tired of finding a guy that I have chemistry with and then he criticizes me heavily when I'd never do that to him. :(


Have you ever known me to outright criticize you? I mean yeah I might have gotten quite a bit annoyed whenever you and emlion were filling this forum with way too much happy for all the lonely hearts here to handle, but I don't ever recall outright criticizing you...


I never said that you did. The second sentence had nothing to do with you. >.<



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26 May 2011, 8:41 am

Erisad wrote:
Mr. Right better hurry the f**k up. ... He must need a f***ing GPS if he hasn't found me by now. I'm not that hard to find. D:


*Wishpers* What to hear a secret? Mr. Right sometimes had the name of Mr. Right at that time & if he that name just you enjoy the time you spent with him. If he goes my the name of Mr A.M Always Right then get rid of him quickly :wink:

Hun the creative writer that you are, write a story about the man you what in your life in detail about what qualities you what him to him, what he looks like, his behaviour, the things he dones with you when your spending time with him.

Write you story about Mr. Right in the present tense, don't write about things you don't what about him only write about WHAT YOU WHAT. When you fished writing the story read the story to yourself daily!! making sure you believe that its a true real life story about him and you, feel good about yourself when you do read your story.

Also start wearing or have on your person the crystal I told you about that will help :wink:
Also be on the look out for Synchronicities

Hopeful that will speed things up for you :D



Erisad
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26 May 2011, 8:51 am

cdfox7 wrote:
Erisad wrote:
Mr. Right better hurry the f**k up. ... He must need a f***ing GPS if he hasn't found me by now. I'm not that hard to find. D:


*Wishpers* What to hear a secret? Mr. Right sometimes had the name of Mr. Right at that time & if he that name just you enjoy the time you spent with him. If he goes my the name of Mr A.M Always Right then get rid of him quickly :wink:

Hun the creative writer that you are, write a story about the man you what in your life in detail about what qualities you what him to him, what he looks like, his behaviour, the things he dones with you when your spending time with him.

Write you story about Mr. Right in the present tense, don't write about things you don't what about him only write about WHAT YOU WHAT. When you fished writing the story read the story to yourself daily!! making sure you believe that its a true real life story about him and you, feel good about yourself when you do read your story.

Also start wearing or have on your person the crystal I told you about that will help :wink:
Also be on the look out for Synchronicities

Hopeful that will speed things up for you :D


But if I write only the positive parts of him that I like, he'd be a Gary Stu stereotype, which would make me a horrible writer. 3 dimensional characters are wonderous! >.<

I have a few pieces of that stone favorited on my Etsy account. I should actually buy one of those, they're so pretty and pink. :heart:
Synchronicities? Eh? You mean like coincidences and s**t?