Does anyone feel like hurting themselves?

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I'm not suicidal or depressed. When I was little I had no problems. But I had a severe trauma a few years ago. While I've healed from that, it unlocked something in my brain. At totally random times (like, say, when I'm cooking or writing), I'll suddenly start pressing my nails into my wrists or pressing my wrist against something. I feel the urge to push my wrists against knives, fire, anything that could hurt.

Sometimes when I want to be alone, like in the shower or in bed, my brain will tell me someone is standing and staring at me. When I do something even slightly wrong, my brain will start muttering that I'm bad and evil and deserve to die. They're the same urge, and I don't feel like it's me doing it.

Like I said, I'm not self-harming. My brain is just determined to hurt me in any way possible. I have to fight to keep from pushing my wrist into flames, and I have severe pyrophobia. Anyone know what's going on? I am going to see a psychiatrist for a diagnosis, but I'm not exactly sure what to do in the short term.

Can I ask what the trauma was? Was it an injury?

I have gone through that many times myself. For me living on the 20th floor si very hazardous, especially since i have these negative thoughts telling me to jump. I am not suicidal either and I Feel like I have a good control of my impulses( or else I would be a pancake by now) LOL
and when i had told a doctor about the negative self harmful voices they had misdiagnosed me with schizophrenia
It is hard to ignore these self-defeating voices, but it is possible to do such.

I've felt like ramming my A-wing into a Super Star Destroyer

INTENSIFY FORWARD FIREPOWER!

I'm not that right now but I sometimes go there. For me it's probably from the depressive side of bipolar. Since you say you aren't depressed it kind of sounds like "harm obsessions" from OCD. I'm no doctor though.

Mental trauma. My mom's parenting style works fairly well with Asperger's, since she treats children like humans. My 'dad's'...well, you know that school of thought that says you should hit kids as discipline? Apparently that was what he was aiming for. Think of an NT flip-out over nothing, times ten, with every reason to believe it could turn violent.

Like I said, I have dealt with that, which is why this is confusing. There's a huge difference between this and a trauma reaction, especially since the trauma-based urge to self-harm was actually far safer. All I really did was scratch myself. This is a ten on a one-to-ten scale of 'WTF?!'.

And Warsie? You rock. *high-fives*

I self-harm by cutting myself, and it's a really horrible thing to do but incredibly hard to stop, but before I even started I used to do things similar to the things you do. I do understand what you mean about having urges to hurt yourself. Of course the best thing to do would be to ask the phsyciatrist when you see him. In the short term I guess you've just got to try really hard not to give in to these urges. One thing people quite often do is taking a rubber band, wearing around their wrist and snapping it whenever they feel likle hurting themselves to help stop them from doing something which would cause more damage. You could try that or just try and distract yourself whenever you feel like you might hurt yourself.

I'm sorry that you've been through a lot. I used to have a lot of arguments with my parents about the smallest things, and they believed in the discipline method too, but all it did was confuse and upset me and cause more problems.

I love myself too much to do that.

Its possible you might be suffering from Obsessive compulsive behaviours. Not full OCD neccessarily but some of the symptoms. What you describe is very similar to what a lot of people with Tourettes experience. I get random urges to hurt myself by clawing my eyes, burning myself (luckily that one never got past compulsion), to bang my head, to bite myself. Some of my compulsive thoughts make me worry that someone might be looking at me while I am nude but alone. Do you believe that you are evil or that you are being watched? See that's the difference between a compulsive thought and psychosis (I think... correct me if I am wrong). People who get psychotic voices actually believe them, but people with compulsive thoughts get irritating negative thoughts which don't seem to go away and often don't reflect the sufferer's real thoughts or feelings.

How would intensifying the forward firepower actually prevent that from happening? I've never quite understood that part. That guy's ship was already almost blown up, shooting at it wouldn't have helped change its projection.

Sometimes I feel evil or like someone is standing in the room and staring at me, but I can usually look at it and say "Wait, what was that again?". I tend to be incredibly paranoid, too. It's hard to tell if those feelings are neuroatypicality, though (not the people-staring, that's just...WTF, brain, WTF), because like I said, my life really sucks and I do have to be careful.

Sugoi Desu Ne

Enjoy my reference



Piett wanted to increase the fire of the forward batteries to counter the front shields faltering while they recharged/recovered, in order to swat down the fighters that were swarming up the "Cityscape" in the middle of Executor hiding from the guns on the ship's surface (similar to the trench run on Death Star I - and what was going on around Death Star II below at the same time). Executor does not have as much point defense weapons due to the imperial doctrine of not treating fighters seriously - which is now considered a radical departure from Old Republic tactics - blame Lucas sh*****g up the in-universe story for that doozy.

Re. fighter ineffectiveness, well, arguably, they weren't effective as they were mainly useful on attacking peripheries of warships and unsheilded parts. Useful but not a 'deal-changer'. The destruction of both death stars is a bit of a fluke. a MASSIVE fluke. Executor's downfall was cotntributed by the fact that the ENTIRE REBEL FLEET was hitting Executor with full turbolaser battery fire for thirty minutes straight in focused fire mode, as well as damage from the rest of the battle before to the ship's systems. The A-wing was a lucky hit, though we dont know if a turbolaser from Home One would've done the same thing or if the shields wouldve been restored quickly enough. But the A-wing was explosive.

One thing that reminded me of. The W-wing would've blown up from being hit a few more times. The A-wing fuel and missiles were configured in a similar manner to the Ford Pinto - that the s**t blows up without intent - that A-wing that hit the bridge ended up functioning as an ad hoc suicide missile that caused the explosions to help hit the other bridges..

Its hard to be honest.

a teacher once asked me, "what are you going to do with your life?" not sure , i think i'll just kill myself. -- she had me changed to another class , - i asked her why'd you change me to another class , she never answered me. --------

Im not suicidal. Its alittle different.

This is a very complex issue, and there are many unrelated causes and situations. There are psychiatric specialists who do nothing but study and help people who cut themselves, or do harm to selves otherwise. Among the causes for people feeling driven to do that, are sexual satisfaction, proving "toughness", showing off, and of course the sad cases such as expressing self-hatred, etc. Whatever the case may be, it should be identified and worked on.

I'm into bodypiercings, and quite honestly, it's just something that I think makes me look "tough", as most people don't have the guts to stick a 10mm biopsy punch through their ear lobe, or a thick hypodermic through their nipples. I have a really high pain threshold, so it's kind of cheating in a way, as I'm not tough at all outside of the high pain threshold. My psychiatrist knows about the piercings, and she doesn't make any issue of it. And I only maintain them (re-pierce if they start to grow out, etc). I don't add any new piercings, and I haven't in 15 years.

Charles