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kittylover
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27 May 2011, 4:38 am

I'm feeling really lonely right now, wishing that I had someone to hold me. I'm male-to-female transsexual, but I'm still living completely as a guy, because despite 3 years of hormones I look completely male.

The problem finding someone is that nobody wants me. Straight guys see that I look like a man and aren't interested. Gay guys aren't interested because I have a woman's personality, and gay guys are attracted to guys. The same is true for women, except inverted of course.

The only bisexual person I know isn't interested in me, nor am I interested in him.

I have nobody to hold me when my gender dysphoria gets really severe like it is tonight. I'll get back to crying now and hopelessly wishing myself dead.



auntblabby
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27 May 2011, 6:30 am

loneliness sucks big wind. thank god for WP, at least. i would have gone off the deep end were it not for WP.



leviathans
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27 May 2011, 7:22 am

It must be really hard for you. It's already hard enough for sensitive and androgyne aspie like me, I can only imagine how tough it must be if you're transsexual. I might not be a transsexual but I do feel like I would be "the girl" in a relationship. I wish there were more bisexual and pansexual people. You could maybe try to go to your local or college LGBT club, maybe you'll find interesting people there. I'm considering going to my university LGBT club next fall.

Good luck and don't despair. It's just a really long road, but we'll all find someone eventually.
Btw, I don't know if I should say this but low-dose antidepressant can be pretty helpful to make you feel less sad. Taking the minimum dose is really helpful and it does not induce much side-effect (at least in my case). Even if it won't help you find someone, at least it keeps your moral up and makes you feel better.

*Hugs kittylover* :cat:



auntblabby
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27 May 2011, 7:39 am

to the OP: vigorous physical exercise, for 2 hours or so each day, seems to take the edge off loneliness/sadness for me. maybe something about the endorphins from the exertion? but i have used this method for the last 3 decades or so, and it works, after a fashion. "the loneliness of the long-distance runner" is not so acute. i am alone but not really lonely unless i dwell upon it, which i try not to do. one of the universal laws is "like begets like" which means that if you dwell upon something unpleasant, it self-amplifies and you get more unpleasantness. so don't dwell on your loneliness. other people are not the be-all and end-all of personal happiness.



MissConstrue
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27 May 2011, 8:41 am

kittylover wrote:
I'm feeling really lonely right now, wishing that I had someone to hold me. I'm male-to-female transsexual, but I'm still living completely as a guy, because despite 3 years of hormones I look completely male.

The problem finding someone is that nobody wants me. Straight guys see that I look like a man and aren't interested. Gay guys aren't interested because I have a woman's personality, and gay guys are attracted to guys. The same is true for women, except inverted of course.

The only bisexual person I know isn't interested in me, nor am I interested in him.

I have nobody to hold me when my gender dysphoria gets really severe like it is tonight. I'll get back to crying now and hopelessly wishing myself dead.



I'm sorry to hear that kittylover. Btw love the name. As a heterosexual, I find it challenging enough with AS and not fitting too well with the gender "norms". It must be very hard in your case. If you ever want to chat or whatever I have messenger and FB. My FB is on my profile as well as my messenger. Just realize despite the sexual orientation, you're definitely not alone in feeling alone. WP has been a great place thus far where I've made a variety of online friends. I don't think I could find any other support elsewhere.


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Dae
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30 May 2011, 2:52 pm

I'm feeling really lonely right now, wishing that I had someone to hold me. I'm male-to-female transsexual, but I'm still living completely as a guy, because despite 3 years of hormones I look completely male.

The problem finding someone is that nobody wants me. Straight guys see that I look like a man and aren't interested. Gay guys aren't interested because I have a woman's personality, and gay guys are attracted to guys. The same is true for women, except inverted of course.

The only bisexual person I know isn't interested in me, nor am I interested in him.

I have nobody to hold me when my gender dysphoria gets really severe like it is tonight. I'll get back to crying now and hopelessly wishing myself dead.
************************************************************************************************************************************************************
Hi 'kittylover'. Hope you're doing better now. I have a question or two...hope it's not intrusive. Who ('what') do you want? Are you looking for a certain gender? What's your age? What did you mean by "The same is true for women, except inverted of course"? And, how close is 'Orange County' to 'Fresno County'? Ok. Keep taking care of yourself. ...I'm betting you'll still find someone, maybe soon.



kittylover
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30 May 2011, 5:17 pm

Dae wrote:
Hi 'kittylover'. Hope you're doing better now. I have a question or two...hope it's not intrusive. Who ('what') do you want? Are you looking for a certain gender? What's your age? What did you mean by "The same is true for women, except inverted of course"? And, how close is 'Orange County' to 'Fresno County'? Ok. Keep taking care of yourself. ...I'm betting you'll still find someone, maybe soon.


No, no better now.
- I don't know who I would want. I'm so confused about my gender that I don't know what gender of partner I want.
- 29
- Straight women wouldn't like me because I think like a woman. Lesbians wouldn't like me because I look like a man.
- Maybe 200 miles northwest of here.
- I doubt that...



auntblabby
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31 May 2011, 6:55 am

i think like a woman also. i know how women are weirded out by feminine men. i also know how men are weirded out by feminine men as well. my advice to the OP is to take the gender [choice of partner] that treats you the best.



leviathans
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31 May 2011, 10:27 am

Try to find a place where you could find gender-fuck, transgender, transsexual, pansexual or plain bisexual people. I know that it is easier said than done, but if you find such place, you might find someone that you like and even if you don't you could find people like you who feel the same thing. Try to search on MEETUP.COM, craigslist.com or locally. Also try online dating if you haven't already, it's great because you can disclose yourself as a MTF. Try OkCupid. You could even try a personal matching service, it somewhat costly and it might be awkward, but who knows, it might works.



Dae
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31 May 2011, 5:41 pm

kittylover...it may be easy to lump women and/or lesbians into one opinion/mentality (i.e. none of them like masculine-looking females) but I happen to know doing so isn't all that accurate. I happen to prefer masculine-looking women (the FTM's, for example) -- though a mustache could cause a problem (because of tactile sensation, not necessarily the visual aesthetics)... But I definitely also agree with other posts I've just read on WP : Can you make a connection to the person inside? Are they making a connection with you internally? If no, then don't 'settle'. I know...easier said than done. :) But...you're so worth it, right?


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