STOP, LOOK, READ THIS!! !! !

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Back in the 80's, I was browsing in a bookstore and came across a book about the following:
Could it be that some of the people on this site are a product of this and not autism?
In my own case, neither parent drank but both grandfathers did and did rather heavily. The more I learn, the more difficult diagnoses becomes. It VERY hard to cut through it all especially when it comes to "borderline asperger's". Sometimes it's better for the sake of sanity to accept yourself as a human being and decline any such labels. Human being were NEVER perfect.


Adult Children of Alcoholics: (ACOA issues)

...guess at what normal is.
...have difficulty in following a project through from beginning to end.

...lie when it would be just as easy to tell the truth.

...judge themselves without mercy.

...have difficulty having fun.

...take themselves very seriously.

...have difficulty with intimate relationships.

...overreact to changes over which they have no control.

...constantly seek approval and affirmation.

...feel that they are different from other people.

...are either super responsible or super irresponsible.



...tend to lock themselves into a course of action without giving serious consideration to alternative behaviors or possible consequences. This impulsivity leads to confusion, self loathing, and loss of control of their environment. As a result, they spend tremendous amounts of time cleaning up the mess. (and tremendous amounts of money!! !)


These characteristics are, of course, general in nature and do not apply to everyone. Some may apply and others not. And there are still other characteristics which are not on this list. But if any of these sound all too familiar, you may benefit by learning more about the phenomenon.
You might want to read Dr. Jan's book Adult Children of Alcoholics for more detailed descriptions. You might take the Adult Children Screening Quiz to get an indication of how much you may have been affected by growing up in an alcoholic or otherwise dysfunctional home.

If you would like to learn more about support group programs for those who grew up in alcoholic homes, check the resources from Al-Anon Family Groups or the Adult Children of Alcoholics organization.[i][u]

Some abused children also may appear to have autistic symptoms. I did have an alcoholic father and even had that book as it seemed to effect me more than my brothers. However the Aspergers comes from my Mothers side of the family also I have many symptoms of Aspergers/autism that have nothing to do with trauma and I behaved "autistic" before my Father started drinking. Ive also been professionally diagnosed and three of my five children have Autism. I do believe that I have the "Daddy's little girl syndrome" or "daddy hole" as I call it, but I have put this to good use, it actually helps me with my writing. All of my stories are centered around a large man or being that is father like and there is always a female character who needs to be protected or led by this person (is understood by this person) but is otherwise strong and maybe misunderstood (typically very intelligent but sometimes immature, aspie like).
I did read the book Adult Children of Alcoholics and I also went to a teenage al-anon meeting because I was having issues with my father being at the house all the time after he stopped drinking. Strange thing was that I could not relate to the other kids in the group or later to any of the stories in the book. My mother kept my Father away when he was drinking so he was more absent than drunk to me. Also I didnt like him in the first place when he was there, he did not fit my idea of what a daddy was supposed to be. He yelled all the time which is difficult on my sensory system., so I was more upset after he stopped drinking than when he was. I do love my Dad because he is my Father but I dont like him. I used to be angry with him but I stopped that years ago when I started having my own children.

Dont quite understand the Lying part and how it relates to Asperger's...."lie when it would be just as easy to tell the truth" sounds a lot like my son who is bi polar, its like second nature for him to lie. I cant lie to save my life and it is a aspie trait to be so truthful that it actually hurts others. I also have no problem having fun....I am easily amused and it one thing my Mom always said she found so easy with me that I never complained that I was bored. I also do not really seek approval....I like to do things the right way and am hard on myself when I screw up but I do not accept or enjoy compliments. I could go on and on but I do think its good that you posted this because I think a lot of people can be fooled into thinking they have Asperger's by reading symptoms and thinking that some apply to them without considering other things. At first I was just diagnosed with Anxiety, Depression (even though I kept saying that I was not sure what depression was and I didnt think I was depressed), OCD and ADD. After a full evaluation they found that I definitely had Asperger's syndrome. Even my son's psychologist that assessed him pulled my husband aside and said "If I didnt already know that your wife had Asperger's Id be willing to diagnose her right now".
I know there are a lot of people on the board who are self diagnosed and I have no problem with that. If people feel better that they believe they have Aspergers than thats a good thing. I dont understand all these people who are diagnosed getting nasty and saying that self diagnosed people do not belong here or other such nonsense. I know that my husband has many aspie traits and that makes it easier for him to understand me. He doesnt need a diagnosis nor does he want one or would he probably get one as he is self reliant and does not have any issues. He is a Professor of biology.
Anyway sorry about the rambling.....interesting idea....I also find it interesting how some symptoms of schizophrenia are like that of Autism/Asperger's....my older Aspie has a lot of traits of paranoid schizophrenia but is it just because of her abusive boyfriend (she is not longer with him) or does she have a co morbid condition?

Since you did not live with an alcoholic (unless you lived with your grandfathers) it is not likely that you could have this because this comes from suffering a sort of "abuse" of living with an alcoholic or being abused by an alcoholic. Its not just something you get genetically because you have an alcoholic relative. You can inherit alcoholic tendencies but not this type of "syndrome".

Possibly. There's a lot of things that seem like autism.

If ever a thread did not live up to its subject line, this one has to be a contender. Descriptive subjects are much better than hyperbolic ones that say nothing.

Borderline cases will always be borderline cases, but the sensory perception issues and social difficulties with autism are real, and can be measured. They are not psychological constructs (which this book seems to be about).

Yeah, and it also depends on a persons perception of Autism or what they have been lead to believe is Autism.

I'd agree - some children of alcoholics have symptoms not dissimilar from autism. I'd imagine that it's not impossible that some alcoholics are autistic themselves. I don't think that that sort of mudslinging does much for the plight of autistics overall, though. Sure, it's easier to blame someone else, but is it empowering?

I'm an ACOA and agree there can be significant overlap between the two. I do have some traits, though, that are explained by AS, but not linked to growing up around alcohol abuse. (Sensory issues and face-blindness, for example). Additionally, autism seems to run in my family and I have cousins diagnosed with both AS and 'classic' Autism on my mother's side, who did not have alcoholic parents. My late father, who basically drank himself to death and died of liver problems and brain damage at the age of only 44, did definitely have some AS traits, in hindsight, and I think he self-medicated to deal with some of that.

Most of the things on that list describe me to a T.

I snipped a very long and relevant post from liloleme that needs to be read (so if anyone hasn't read the comment, go up and read it!), but the very first line hit me because this has been a brick wall in therapy more than once.

My mother was abusive. My ex-husband was abusive. I have been legitimately diagnosed with Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder from my mother's treatment, my ex-husband's treatment and the very traumatic divorce process. When I started therapy at my previous place (where I was diagnosed with AS), we all assumed everything was PTSD. But the more sessions that passed, the more she realized I had behavior that preceded my ex-husband and that my mother reacted to with abuse. She had me tested for an Autism Spectrum Disorder with the psychiatrist at the same clinic. Two weeks later, both of them spent an hour explaining to me how I could have Asperger's Syndrome while I argued the point with my limited understanding of the disorder. It was very unexpected to me.

These traumatic situations were exacerbated into PTSD because I am autistic. While it is traumatic for anyone to suffer an abusive childhood with a mother who hates you or an abusive marriage with an alcoholic, my traumas were not being processed like an assembly line, where one thing happens and then the next thing happens, with a clear division between the two. These traumas were piling on top of each other and reprocessing together as a greater single trauma. It's the difference between saving 10 different files on your harddrive as they are created... and... saving 10 files worth of information to 1 file on your harddrive and re-saving it every time you add new information. It's one huge, overwhelming file that's harder for the computer to handle. This is why I have an anxiety attack every time I enter a courtroom or think about writing my ex-husband a letter I need to write or see his name on my phone's Caller ID. It's not just about one thing that happened. It's about everything that happened since I can remember. It's one big monster trauma.

So, now I walk into a counselor's office expecting them to be able to understand this because this is a very awesome thing to know, both as a patient and as a professional, and then they say, "Well, you clearly don't have Aspergers, you have PTSD. Anyone would feel the way you feel after surviving an abusive marriage." And just miss it all.

All these lists that describe behavior of abused children or children of alcoholics or children of hoarders, they're true. If you're Autistic on top of being an abused child, or ACOA or ACOH, add a x100 to each item on that list.

Yes, exactly! Thank-you for articulating that so well, Wefunction.