depression: is medication a safe way to escape reality?

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My depression is based in reality. That is, my situation would make any rational person depressed and there is probably no way out. For that reason I have always avoided seeing a doctor about depression - my brain functions perfectly well, I cope in public, and there is nothing a doctor could do except drug me to believe that black is white. But I have exhausted all other options, so I now wonder if such drugs exist and would they work?

I would love to have a drug that stopped me from seeing so clearly, that lowered my IQ and removed my natural human need for friends, sex, hope, etc., thus allowing me to be a happy zombie. I have known for years that suicide would be my ideal but it is not practical (it would devastate my family), so suppressing the mind seems like the next best alternative. Do such drugs exist, and would a doctor prescribe them? Or would they have equally bad side effects?

Living in a "fake" reality is much safer than living in the "real world", coming from someone who was there, I suggest meds. I still have the ability to think and FEEL which was something I could not achieve well when I was at one of my lows.

I don't quite understand the scope of your question, the depression that happens to be based in reality part... but I happen to take 100 mg Sertraline (Zoloft) and I happen to be very happy with where I am at. If anything, I happen to be back in reality, being able to go to school without social anxiety, being able to live a panic attack-free life, being able to control obsessive compulsive behaviours, etc. While I have heard that people feel like zombies, I personally do not feel like a zombie.

I believe that maybe if you were to at least try an SSRI for example, you may see acceptance in reality, and actually embrace it... however everyone reacts differently to these medications.

There is no such thing as a medication that is meant to lower your IQ or make you a 'happy zombie'.

Thanks. I suppose I just need to see my doctor, but last time I saw a mental health professional it took 6 months and he was pretty useless - refused to make any diagnosis either yes or no.

Living in a "fake" reality is much safer than living in the "real world", coming from someone who was there, I suggest meds. I still have the ability to think and FEEL which was something I could not achieve well when I was at one of my lows.

Well the thing is that maybe the reality that you are trying to escape is actually the opposite of reality. Then again I have never taken a psychology course - I am a biology student, I only understand the brain on a cellular level, so I don't feel qualified to speak.

As for mental health care... yea it takes forever to see a professional... and on top of that, not all of them are really the greatest of people, but then again there are definitely many psychiatrists/psychologists that are indeed excellent at what they do. It just takes time.

That is a good illustration of my reality. I seem to have found a perfect storm of circumstances that confounds my every step. I live in a remote area so seeing a second professional in anything less than a year is not an option. I could whine at great length about all the other little obstacles, and what would happen if I simply waited, but nobody wants to hear a long rant with no answers at the end.

Well as long as you are not suffering of unbearable anxiety, depression, etc... try to hang in there. That's all I can say.

Thanks. Been hanging in there for the past 33 years (I was happy until the age of 9). What has kept me going is the hope that it will change, but gradually I have to face the reality that the next 33 years will be the same, except without the hope.

I found aspergers diagnosis quite depressing as it got rid of any hope that I could 'self help' my way out of it or be cured.

I got a perscription of antidepressants last year but they just made me feel very sick for 2 months, I wouldnt bother again.

Ive found trying to add in things which make me happy helpful such as nature walks, my special interests, nice DVDs, nice food. Try to avoid people and things which make you feel too bad. And I try to mediate, exercise and eat fruit and veg everyday. Bananas and turkey and eggs help your body make serotonin so eat some everyday.

In the end you can view it as an exercise in patience as we all die eventually, you just have to wait it out. Try and do nice things while you wait.

Thanks. I appreciate the advice - I think you are most likely to be right.

Probably my core problem is that all my life I have been an idealist. I am good at finding answers to big questions (e.g. in economics, entertainment or religion) so find it very hard to accept areas where I cannot succeed, or where others cannot see the value in what I do. All my hobbies have been huge mountains to climb, and the constant struggle with no end in sight wears me out.

* I have big economic ideas for saving the world, but nobody else follows them. I am constantly fighting, and tired of it.

* I have a web site on the old Fantastic Four comics, but the industry is dying and the number of people who care is dying too. The comics were all about growth and optimism, and it's unbearably depressing to see the comics and their readers decline into disillusion.

* For most of my life my church was my intense focus, so many idealistic dreams, until I discovered it was a big hypocritical fraud.

* For 14 years I immersed myself into a computer game I'm making, but it's so ambitious that I won't get it right for years and I am just burnt out.

All my hobbies are depressing. Maybe the answer s to forget idealism, and choose an entirely new hobby based on its ability to connect with people. Something familiar and risk free. But dagnabbit! Idealism is so much a part of me that it is very, very hard to get rid of. Idealism defines me, it is what I am. Yet it is my ability to see the light so clearly that makes the darkness so hard to bear.

Yes, Im an idealist too and I agree that it makes things much harder and I think it makes one feel more isolated and different.

That is so good to hear. I am beginning to wonder if idealism is unique to autism - that it takes a special kind of mental focus. I know many NTs who see themselves as idealists, but when faced with the choice they will always compromise to be with friends. It takes an AS mind to follow that distant star into the darkness, and keep walking.

I agree completely.

Actually, the better antidepressant medications out there are not intended to dull your ability to perceive that the world around you is a loo. You still know that the world is a loo, but then it becomes a loo where you take a pill and not care so much that it is a loo.

If your alternative is having frequent thoughts of suicide, though, I suggest you take up smoking. It's healthier. However, I suggest avoiding alcoholism because that one really does "solve" your problems by making you too imbecilic to know they exist.

Oh, but when you go to see your next psychiatrist, be prepared to tell him or her exactly what your problems are. It's not enough for the practitioner to just know you are depressed, but you really have to be able to describe exactly what is going on with you. For example:

1. Do you feel that you are powerless to change your situation?
   
2. Or do you have the ability to cope with your problems but just find it stressful and overwhelming to do so, thereby wearing unpleasantly on your ability to take satisfaction in life?
   
3. Or do you feel empowered, don't have a stress problem, but feel that your mind is not able to keep up with the world around you?
   
4. Or is it none of that, just a gnawing sense of "emptiness"?
   
5. And finally, are you just in a plain ole miserable situation?

All of these are lumped together with depression (incorrectly), but a really talented psychiatrist can tell the difference between one and the other and knows that all of these conditions of the mind need a different course of treatment. But remember, it takes a lot of research to find a good one that you can actually afford. Usually it's either some young buck who hasn't had time to build a reputation or a semi-retired old colonel, or you could get lucky like me and manage to be interesting enough to a top-of-his-class researcher that he is willing to take you on just out of scientific curiosity.

Finally, the trick to happiness is having exactly as much water as you need to fill your cup but not more water than your cup can hold. You must balance your ideas with your ability to make them come to fruition. If your ideas are too big for your ability to bring them to life, they are impotent. The resolution to your problems would be to develop an acceptance of your own limitations as a human being.

Last edited by WilliamWDelaney on 05 Jun 2011, 6:38 am, edited 1 time in total.

In theory, no, because my problems should be quite small, but the devil is in the details. E.g. I need to move but cannot because I can't get a job or money to live elsewhere. A silly little thing, yet an impenetrable wall.


Not stressful, but deadening. Like a huge lead weight. Not overwhelming but tiring, decade after decade.


Quite the opposite. My mind is always embracing big concepts and seeing possibilities, but I live in a small village where nothing ever happens, and I want out, but see no way out. Everyone around me embraces mediocrity. if only I could embrace that I could continue like they do (albeit alone, but then a lot of them are alone too)


Again, the opposite: a gnawing sense of fullness. That fullness is trapped in a cage, screaming into space.


That's about it. For reasons of misplaced faith and idealism I have spent the last thirty years backing myself into a corner from which I will probably never escape.