Do your parents understand you and your AS?
iheartmegahitt
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Joined: 9 Sep 2010
Age: 35
Gender: Female
Posts: 784
Location: My own little world - No outsiders allowed!
For me, mine do... to an extent. I mean there are times when they don't realize my routine. I have a routine where I have to be on my laptop all of the time. If I'm not then I get upset. If the power goes out or the internet dies, they get angry with me and say I'm being dramatic because I meltdown.
Other times, with my mom, she doesn't understand that when I'm in my room... I don't want to be bothered. She comes into my room and its like, a stranger invading a dog's territory. So the dog attacks, right? With me, I will yell at her to get out of my room or go away.
My parents are somewhat understanding, and they do try to understand what I am going through... but most of the time I think they believe I'm just acting like a brat or acting out... or just being over dramatic. It's hard because like, if I want something, like an anime plushie, I meltdown. I don't do it just to through a temper tantrum but because my mind shuts down and only thinks of that one thing in mind.
My parents don't realize how much harder it is for me to fight for myself just as it is for them to fight for me too. It's like when I have something to say, my mind goes in lockdown and I'm standing their like an idiot trying to figure what I want to tell them.
So, what about your parents, do they understand you and your Asperger Syndrome?
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Diagnosed with an autistic disorder (Not AS but mild to moderate classic Autism), ADHD, Learning Disability, intellectual disability and severe anxiety (part of the autism); iPad user; written expressionist; emotionally-sensitive
iheartmegahitt
Veteran
Joined: 9 Sep 2010
Age: 35
Gender: Female
Posts: 784
Location: My own little world - No outsiders allowed!
Wow, you're lucky. Sometimes I wish my mom could understand me. I mean I don't hate her for not its just sometimes she gets on my nerves and me and her end up arguing a lot because of it. She has some autistic traits as well and yet we still fight like sisters. She's supportive yet doesn't seem to understand the true nature of autism... yet she is the type to defend me in public situations and also speak for me... because she knows when I get distressed and she'll stick up and say, "Hey look, she has autism, ADHD and a learning disability... and has a hard time with communication... so if you have anything to ask her, you can ask me instead."
There was one time when my teacher was being a b***h to me and always nitpicked me for my hair (it was very short and curly... so it looked messy and my teacher complained) and other things that bothered me... because I had meltdowns all the time in life skills and I was being pressured too... so guess what my mom does? She calls up the school, right? TWO principals go and see that teacher and talk to her about the way I was getting treated. My teacher calls my mom and tells her that she has never had a parent do that to her before in her life.
So yeah, my mom will put up a fight if she knows I am suffering from those around me. It's just times when she doesn't understand me at home that is the problem.
_________________
Diagnosed with an autistic disorder (Not AS but mild to moderate classic Autism), ADHD, Learning Disability, intellectual disability and severe anxiety (part of the autism); iPad user; written expressionist; emotionally-sensitive
My mom has aspergers too and hates it when I take time off during the holidays and am doing nothing but watching TV or playing with the dog for a few days... She want's me to go do something productive and has this excessive urge to control me... I tell her I am feeling burnt out and I need time to do nothing and she says go join a yoga class or go to the gym or exercise your brain through puzzles or sudoku etc etc causing me only to stress out further than see it from my point of view... i.e, I wan't nothing social or even productive just some alone time at a familiar place "home".. I've my own ways of dealing with things... but she doesn't trust my ways...
Other times, with my mom, she doesn't understand that when I'm in my room... I don't want to be bothered. She comes into my room and its like, a stranger invading a dog's territory. So the dog attacks, right? With me, I will yell at her to get out of my room or go away.
My parents are somewhat understanding, and they do try to understand what I am going through... but most of the time I think they believe I'm just acting like a brat or acting out... or just being over dramatic. It's hard because like, if I want something, like an anime plushie, I meltdown. I don't do it just to through a temper tantrum but because my mind shuts down and only thinks of that one thing in mind.
My parents don't realize how much harder it is for me to fight for myself just as it is for them to fight for me too. It's like when I have something to say, my mind goes in lockdown and I'm standing their like an idiot trying to figure what I want to tell them.
So, what about your parents, do they understand you and your Asperger Syndrome?
that sounds like me!! ^_^
sometimes they completely forget that i am on a different path than them. there is a OVERWHELMING difference between me and my younger brother. he is VERY social...i am not.
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*Christina*
It's like someone's calling out to me. Writing it all down...it's like I'm calling back to them.
(quote from August Rush; but used as a reference to my writing)
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My ASD AQ score is 42
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#DemandCartoonDiversity
My parents never knew. I was close to my dad but I didn't consider it important enough to tell him when I could use our phone time to tell him about his grandkids and fun stuff going on. I knew I had his love and support in all things. I wanted to concentrate on our phone calls being an uplifting and happy experience for him. Honestly, unless a parent is also a friend, I don't see any point in you, as an adult, sharing your personal life with your parents. It just seems like it's asking for heartache.
I obviously know that my aspie son has aspergers and because we share the diagnosis, supporting and advocating for him has been very easy. I understand him and he also understands me, especially about the things that no one else will ever get. It's pretty cool.
I wouldn't wish my mom on any Aspie. She swings wildly from "You poor thing; you can't be expected to go to college; come home and live with me," to "Don't be a hypochondriac; you're not really disabled, you're just lazy and dramatic." It's like she can't get the concept that it's ever possible for someone to be disabled and competent at the same time. It really gets on my nerves because whichever way she goes, she's either insisting that something which is a huge part of me doesn't exist, or else putting me down for it and assuming it must necessarily make my life horrible and me incapable of anything useful.
One of my greatest fears is that I'll one day have to go home and live with her again.
_________________
Reports from a Resident Alien:
http://chaoticidealism.livejournal.com
Autism Memorial:
http://autism-memorial.livejournal.com
My mum seems to think that anyone who's on the autism spectrum must be low-functioning, and reacted poorly when I told her that I thought I might have a very mild form of AS. Annoying, but I don't blame her.
(She's also one of those types who hates 'labels' being put on children, which is naive at best.)
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"Nobody realizes that some people expend tremendous energy merely to be normal." - Albert Camus
My mother thinks she does but she is far from it, I'm 21, married and have lived away from home for 3 years and I'm honestly a lot happier. My husband has taken time to understand my aspieness and when I have problems he calls them my aspie/autism moments and just asks me and then just deals with it. But at home I used to clash at home all of the time because my mother didn't always understand when I was having a moment and then reacted badly, or a sort of selective choice where I was disabled when she thought I was but was just being difficult at other times. But we were given no support and she was a single parent so I don't blame her. I just like having my own space where I can act how I want and be comfortable.
My parents are very good, and have been extra supportive ever since I got diagnosed at age 8. Many thanks to my parents, and anyone here who badmouths my parents are being nasty. (There is a thread here where somebody here badmouthed my parents once, all because I said my parents wish I didn't have a disability. It's nobody else's business what my parents think. To me they've been great and they love me).
_________________
Female
Yes they do, especially my mom, who is my best friend and biggest advocate. Getting a diagnosis really helped my parents to understand me better. Before my diagnosis, my parents (particularly my dad) didn't understand me very well and I wound up arguing with them a lot. But after my diagnosis, my relationship with them improved a lot. Now we never get into arguments, because they understand that the way my mind works is different than the way that theirs work.
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