Should I say Thank You?

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My therapist likes to call me smart. I'm not sure if this is flattery because she's a professional who should be encouraging but factual and it is a fact that I am smart. I know I'm smart. It bothers me to be called stupid (by real life people, not internet crap). I know I'm smart. But she keeps calling me smart.

"You're pretty smart." she'll say. "Where did you get your smarts: your dad or your mom?" etc etc etc.

I address the actual question instead of denying that I'm smart or showing some humility or at least thanking her for saying I'm smart. I take it on face value that her professional evaluation is that I am smart, and I agree with her. So I accept the premise of her questions and answer what she asks.

Is it really rude that I'm not at least saying "Thank you"?!

What she seems to be using is positive psychology which entitles a therapist to bring a person up while a client like yourself is in therapy. I recently had therapy with a wonderful interning counselor who often told me that I was smart, talented and that I was super star.

As for thanking, yes I would thank her for trying to build you up as a person. At the same time, I also agree that you are a highly intelligent person in that you have common sense about a lot of different things. I always enjoy getting your take and advice about things such as relationship issues.

No, I don't think it's rude at all. Your relationship with your therapist is qualitatively different than most or all of your other relationships: it's much more raw and honest and clinical, right? In my experience, you don't follow social norms, exchange pleasantries, etc. when you're in a therapy session. Accepting the premise of her questions and answering them seems much more appropriate under the circumstances.

I find it tiring to keep saying thank you when someone keeps giving me the same compliment. I don't see why people should keep thanking you if you keep telling them they are smart.

I doubt your therapist is very interested in complimenting you and having that acknowledged. You can put that aside. But you could say thank you and see if it changes anything. But I guess probably not.

Yeah, I know. I just feel like I'm lacking in social grace here by not acknowledging that it is a positive thing she is saying about me. I don't think anything productive will result from me thanking her, either. I think it will continue just the same, except I will have a momentary distraction between remembering to thank her and then remembering to answer the question. She's already on board with the aspie diagnosis so I don't have to go out of my way to demonstrate my short-comings.

I suppose this is an effective therapy technique, to say positive things about the patient, for many people. I don't feel particularly pleased with it. I'm not offended by it but if it wasn't there, it would not adversely affect our sessions. I'm glad I'm not demonstrating that I'm oblivious to common social graces every time she calls me smart and that's what she is taking notes about. But I'll file this under basic awkwardness... I feel weird about therapy sessions, anyway, because they're all about me. That sounds silly but I'm just so used to focusing on other people and only mentioning myself periodically. This is 60 minutes of Wefunction. Awkward!