I have/had a rough life

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To everybody that reads this, I hope you understand what ur about to read. I have the need to express my feelings that i hope i can get support on.

Tonight, just a little bit ago, I expressed with my mom that I have been having a rough life. I also cried a little bit because of the toll my hard life has put me through. There is somethings I'm absolutely not going to divulge because if I ever told anybody even more about my past, then i gaurantee that you will not want to hear from me ever again. Some things are better left unknown. Ever since I have become a member of WP, I have been trying to find a friendship/relationship particularly with a female. The reason for that is also better left unknown. I don't mean to sound sexist. I am what I would call a very blunt person; so blunt that I'm afraid that I could easily offend people. The aspie friends I have now are all online. Finding a friendship/relationship with a female is basically like applying for jobs: you can introduce yourself hundreds of times & still not get anywhere, it is very frustrating. I'm pretty sure there is a female that is autistic that is in her early 20's (like I am) living somewhere near me in Arvada, CO. I am a very shy person because I'm afraid of rejection. I basically lost my childhood starting at 11 y.o. I have the mentality of a 14-16 y.o. Also, whenever i have a lot to say & my mind gives me a limited amount of time, I don't get everything that I want to express out in my writing. My mom also told me that everybody has junk that they have to deal with & she is absolutely right, because it doesn't matter who you are, it's the fact that everybody is going to go through rough times in their life. Period.

I think this is all I have to say for now.

Autistic people seem to deal with more rough times everday without a break for their entire lives compared to NTs who might have a few bad years in their lives. I am 41 the good years I had was from the ages of 1-4 before I went to school and the ages of 17-20 the ages I was before I started working. 8 good years that contain my fondest memories and three of them when I was still toddler due to my age at those times I have very few memories.

Is Aspie Affection any good? I don't know anything about it because when I started using WP I was already in a relationship. If it's any good Byron, it would be worth a try.

About the hard life, it's painful and hard to deal with but if it's possible to deal with it you'll come to your life being stronger. I know I get stronger emotionally almost every day, I hope the same will be true for you.

I'm sorry to hear that. If its any consolation, I didn't get my first girlfriend till this year. (I'm also in my early 20's)