Question for Transsexuals...

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If you lived in a world without gender stereotypes - where a man wearing a skirt, etc was as accepted as a woman, and not just clothes but generally you could do as you pleased in terms of feminine/masculine without discrimination or anything, would you still want to change your physical sex (alternatively, if you were on a desert island, where there'd be no one around to discriminate, etc)? I guess what I'm asking is if it's about gender roles or anatomy in and of itself. If it's the latter, would you mind elaborating? I'm curious/puzzled about the notion of wanting to be the opposite sex including the downsides (I can understand not relating to gender stereotypes, or a man envying multiple orgasms or a woman envying the physical strength, but I'm puzzled by wanting the whole biological thing).

This is an interesting question, and one that I feel I'm well suited to answer.

In the last couple of months, I have come to accept the fact that I am transgendered (born a male), and am beginning to transition now.

For me, it has nothing to do with how other people see me (I couldn't give less of a damn about other people, or their opinions), and everything to do with my mind not matching my body.

So in reference to your two hypothetical situations: If I were living in a civilization free of gender discrimination, or alone on a deserted island, I would absolutely still wish to transition to female.

If I may be so bold, I wish to say that the reason you don't understand the reasoning behind gender reassignment is because you aren't transgendered, and are therefore unable to imagine what it is like to be stuck inside of a skin-suit that your mind doesn't belong in. It's difficult to explain really, but I'll give it a try by way of a horrible analogy for what my life experience with gender dysphoria had been like:

Imagine having a stone stuck in your shoe, and you can't ever take your shoe off yourself. It's a small stone, and it's a bit uncomfortable but you can tolerate it (childhood). The problem is that the stone keeps growing in size, and the longer it's in there the more painful it becomes (growing up and gaining self knowledge). Eventually the pain becomes intolerable, and you have to seek help from people who can remove the shoe for you (counseling, HRT, GRS).

I hope that clarifies things a bit for you.

As per soulecho, yes, absolutely.

Yes. I need to be able to look in a mirror and not wish myself dead.

When I first discovered I was transgender, I decided to move really slowly with the transition and to pause at every step and see if it felt right. I cut my hair. I started dressing as a guy. I found an LGBT community where I could be called 'he'. I changed my name. I found some accepting friends. But even all of that wasn't enough for me. Just being seen as a guy wasn't enough. I wanted the physical changes - facial hair, increased muscle mass, voice change.

In my head I am male, and I want to have my body match that. I'm a singer, and I've never felt completely comfortable with my female voice. I've been on testosterone for 10 weeks and my voice is now more like a pubescent boy's voice, but already it feels much more right.

I am transgender (Female to male). Even if society had no perception of boxing people in based on their body parts or lack of them, I still would transition.

I have something called gender dysphoria so I will feel like I am in the wrong body or I feel like I had a penis amputated and feel intense pain. It's similar to the way someone who lost a limb feels pain. My breasts feel like they were stitched onto me.

That's one of the main reasons I am not getting bottom surgery. I'd like to add that men can get them too once in a blue moon.

Thanks for the replies, everyone.

I see the self as an embodied relational process (there is no "soul"), so its hard for me to think of myself as a mind apart from a body and other persons in an absolute way, even if the subjective feeling of being other in your own skin is there. I would submit if somebody lived on a desert island their whole life, alone.. if it were possible, they'ld have no concept they were the wrong sex or gender- there would be no context to have meaning. But nobody finds themself in that position, because we are inherently social beings that need other people to survive. All our views are shaped by our relationships to other people, including how we feel about ourselves.

The thing about dysphoria, looking in the mirror and being unhappy with what you see, there's no guarantee that getting what you think you want would make you happy either (I have friends who have delt with eating disorders who can attest to this).

Happy in my trans so far and I can't relate an eating disorder to SRS or HRT and the need to morph. A Chrysalis.
If you lived on an Island from birth you prolly would be a semi intelligent animal.
Liked the pebble in the shoe analogy Soulecho.

It seems that most transgender people who seek medical transition do not regret it, and most regrets have to do with something other than whether they wanted to transition. A very small minority actually regret transition because it was the wrong thing to do to resolve whatever drove their attempt to seek it out. That is to say, that it's not comparable to eating disorders at all, and the best treatment is to provide HRT and surgery, and assist with social transition. Nothing else works, and attempts have historically led to disastrous outcomes.

Generally (whatever our personal ambitions in that direction) we spend some time considering that sort of thing. *smiles*