Anyone ever frightened unwanted romantic attentions with AS?

Page 1 of 1 [ 7 posts ] 

cruimh_shionnachain
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 22 Aug 2006
Gender: Male
Posts: 913
Location: Looking for the ubermensch

24 Aug 2006, 8:26 pm

I know it's a horrible question, but has anyone been friends with someone of the opposite gender, found out they liked you(everyone else knew) and purposely frightened them off by telling them you have Asperger's?

Just so you know, I'm currently hiding my head in shame.

I felt like such a creep doing it, but I'm terrified of dating, and it did have the desired effect, though!

Please tell me someone else's used the daunting 'autism' lable to get someone off your back!


_________________
I'm like an opening band for the sun.
-Pearl Jam

Apathy is not a vice, it is a relieving and downright enjoyable life-choice.


Louise
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

User avatar

Joined: 23 Nov 2005
Age: 38
Gender: Female
Posts: 377
Location: Suffolk

24 Aug 2006, 9:04 pm

If the person was scared off _just_ because you told them you have aspergers or autism, then they're not worth going out with. They should form their opinions of you based on personality rather than labels.

And, don't be scared of dating! If you find the right person, you should be able to trust them enough to not worry about their opinions of you/messing up/scaring them off accidentally. The best way to go about it is to go out with someone who you know (and who knows you) as a person first, so that you're comfortable enough with each other to not be scared of messing up. (Or, you're at least comfortable enough with the person to let them know you're shy or nervous of dating, and know they'll understand and not mind that. You might even find that they're nervous themselves; a lot of people tend to be, some are simply better at hiding it than others.)

Don't worry about what you said to the person mentioned in your post, though. If he's scared off by a label then he's too shallow for you anyway.



wobbegong
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 19 Apr 2006
Gender: Female
Posts: 718

24 Aug 2006, 9:25 pm

I usually frighten them off by telling them "I just want to be friends - no sex". That works a treat.



Corcovado
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 7 Jul 2006
Gender: Female
Posts: 562
Location: Right in front of my pc

25 Aug 2006, 2:39 am

wobbegong wrote:
I usually frighten them off by telling them "I just want to be friends - no sex". That works a treat.


I will use that in the future, cause that's exactly what I feel like.



SeaBright
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 15 Aug 2006
Age: 51
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,407
Location: Halfway back

25 Aug 2006, 3:08 am

cellogirl42 wrote:

Please tell me someone else's used the daunting 'autism' lable to get someone off your back!


8O whoah... I've "sorta" been doing that all my life--only I didn't have the label because I was undiagnosed. I'd be like, "no, you don't understand, it would never work because...your not capable of being on the same page with me"

Which is what it boils down to...

and it never worked--so kudos for you! :wink:

To fit in (I work with people who work at the docks-but me and my coworkers are all landbound) and still keep my days free of social trauma, I've slipped into the habit of pointing out all the other my OBVIOUS why nots in advance to the goo-goo eyed.

(usually marital status but including my personal preferences of race/culture, religion, drinking, kids, ect) -Which doesn't work either to curb the constant inquirys, rather changing it into an interesting dance of 'no, but thanks!--awe c'mon!', but still leaving my body and soul un......molested by all these 'friends' begging for their version of companionship-uncompatible companionship. I swear....everyones happily married and still looking for a mistress.


'aspergers/autism' could be my ace in the sleeve--however, I really would prefer not explaining it too these mostly "people who have proved thier ignorance/dis-care by not backing off/understanding in the first place".

But I think you may be on to something!
:wink:

cello rocks :arrow: :twisted:


_________________
"I'm sorry Katya, my dear, but where we come from, your what's known as a pet; a not quite human novelty. It's why we brought you.... It's nothing to be ashamed of, my dear, but here you are and here you'll sit."


hale_bopp
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 2 Nov 2004
Gender: Female
Posts: 17,054
Location: None

25 Aug 2006, 7:50 pm

cellogirl42 wrote:
I know it's a horrible question, but has anyone been friends with someone of the opposite gender, found out they liked you(everyone else knew) and purposely frightened them off by telling them you have Asperger's?

Just so you know, I'm currently hiding my head in shame.

I felt like such a creep doing it, but I'm terrified of dating, and it did have the desired effect, though!

Please tell me someone else's used the daunting 'autism' lable to get someone off your back!


well not directly, but I certianly frighten people off all the time with my nervousness around them and not knowing what to say, it breaks my heart. I would trade to be an NT any day.



TheLonerLatvianAspie
Tufted Titmouse
Tufted Titmouse

User avatar

Joined: 25 Aug 2006
Gender: Male
Posts: 30
Location: California

26 Aug 2006, 11:09 pm

I have always been dubbed odd, weird, or eccentric. When I was diagnosed with AS it all made sense.

My peers have always known me as weird, but funny and witty. I try to avoid them, but some reason they come to me especially all the popular girls. I guess the girls like me because I will be honest with them you not trying to have sexual relation's with them.

Also my friends who are dubbed odd I have found out have AS, hyperlexia, HFA, and OCD. So I pretty much found my own little clique. They thought I was a little bit eccentric and I didn't even have to tell them I was AS they just figured it out.

Soooo to wrap no I have never frightended anybody off by telling them I have AS. Well they may have been put off my by eccentricites, but who knows.