Ever know someone who collects Aspies

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I know the subject title sounds a little off. But I met this person who immediately wanted to be friends. We began hanging out watching movies at her place and going out to eat. After she became comfortable with me she began this negative diatribe ridiculing everything I do and the way I look. Little did I know I was not the only Aspie in her life.

She convinced a male friend to make a 250 mile drive to help her move something. She introduced us and I knew the instant that he wouldn't look at me that he was another Aspie. I went on to observe him on the next couple days and he definitely had the AS traits. A month or so later she starts dating this new guy because she said she got bored while I was away (visiting family for 2 wks) so she decided she needed to live a little. Eventually I was in my opinion tricked into going out to dinner with her and she called the new guy on her cell and had him meet us there. Sure enough he appeared to be another Aspie. She walked all over both guys and they both followed her around like puppies.

Unfortunately I was stupid and helped her get a job where I work so I have to see her several times a week. Otherwise I have cut all ties with her because I don't like being insulted constantly. I just find it weird how she seems to collect Aspie friends. I figure it is some kind of insecurity thing because NT's would not put up with her behaviors. But most Aspies are nice and often lonely/bored out of their skulls so I think she is taking advantage of them/us. I just never heard of this before. I almost feel like I should shadow her a bit though and I might come across another nice Aspie to make real friends with.

Strange behaviour for a female. I suppose that experience could help you in the future or something.
Don't shadow her too much if at all. If you want to use her to meet more aspies then you'll have to actually hang out with her some times (though that might actually be what you meant by "shadow").

There are a few personality types that tend to collect submissive people. Could she be one of these?

This sounds abit spooky....where do you live that there are so many aspies?I just read something from "attwood" about how aspies tend to evoke two emotions in others...."mothering" and "preditory"...sounds like she is the latter...This also sounds like some abusive men I have heard of who seem to be able to "smell" out their victems to have relationships...it seems t go beyond a conciouse level...I know my sister can attract them like a magnet....always ends up with "abusers"...I have never been in a physicaly abusive relationship with a guy,they seem to be the "nurturers" to me but I seem to "attract" very controlling and manipulative females who like to boss me around.I really wanted a female friend so I would often put up with behavior even after I figured out what they were doing...I know this breaks alot of the gender stereotypes...but that is my experience.

Maybe you can develope a support group of her cast off aspies....the "we hate the (insert girls name) support and recovery group....?

Krex you are so funny! What an excellent idea about forming the group.

a1kemi I think you are right on about her being one of those types that goes after submissives. That at least is what I started to glean from the situation after how she treated me and then seeing her treat her "friend" from out of town.

I forgot to add the second guy has been dismissed. Err whatever you call it. She seemed to see he wasn't much good for using so she dumped him TWICE. I think it scared him even more of the female species because I by chance saw him in town yesterday and he just about jumped out of his skin when he saw me. Like bad memories of HER. We had only spoken a couple times but both of us are shy so we never talked much nor does he have any reason to be afraid of me per se. She has gone on to shacking up with a older woman she met and made out with at Pride Fest so she is out of all of our lives for the most part though I still have to see her at work. Now makes me wonder if this new woman is Aspie. The new woman did seem a bit awkward, but female Aspies are harder to detect me thinks.

If this person takes advantage of others and exploits them she is best avoided.

I think I'm a people collector of sorts. Not in a nasty way, I hope, but I do always seem able to find like-minded people in odd situations.

I went to a party several years ago with a couple I knew, who were splitting up. Things were getting pretty bad between them so they took me along to keep the peace. They were in the 6th Form of a very posh private school. The party was in someone's back garden but because they were all private school people, the girls were all in mega-money cocktail dresses (which might as well have had "LOOK AT ME!!" written on the front), while all of the lads were wearing designer suits and sunglasses and were plainly far too cool to actually talk to anyone.

My friends were too busy arguing to introduce me to anyone, and I felt really out of place, so I decided to get drunk. I had at least 2 bottles of red wine, possibly three. And then suddenly I found myself talking to a round-faced girl with untidy black curly hair, neat glasses and the most wonderful smile I have ever seen. Furthermore, she was wearing Converse Allstars, jeans, and a Hawiian shirt, and just blatantly didn't give a f-ck what anyone else was doing.

She's still my best friend today.

I seem to attract Aspies or people with Asperger-like traits. My friends include:

1 confirmed Aspie (I have known her for about 10 years)
2 people who are awaiting permission from their GP's to be tested (I have known 1 16 yeasrs and the other for 11 years.)
1 self-diagnosed (when she saw some info about traits of AS she said "God, so much of that sounds like me!" and since,then, she's said "It's helped me at work, knowing that this is why I feel this way and it's not just me being weird.) (I have known her for about 6 years
1 person wgho was hospitalised from birth for 5 years so never got the chance to "learn" social interaction as a child.) (Whom I have known for 5 years)
1 person who has an Aspie friend. (I have known her for 2 years.

I never knew about Asperger's when I first met any of these people, (I found out about it back in April 2006) yet I seem to have fairly strong friendships with all of them

I consider it a case of "like attracting like." Only they would put up with what most others saw as "odd", "weird" or "unsettling" behaviour andhabits from me. The other interesting thing is, that except for the person I have known for 16 years, i met all these people as a result of one or other of my special interests.

Any thoughts, anyone?

JulieArticuno

She sound like she is going after people who are insecure and submissive, and I agree it's definately an insecure thing.

I had a friend like that, sort of. She would only have friends that she assumed were inferior to her. She was around 45, and her friends were:

A young man of 25, gay
A younger african married man as her lover
An elderly man her fathers age
" " whom she was engaged to be married
A neighbour, young african female
Me whom she thought were ten years younger

The older people she could correct when they forgot things
The foreigners she could correct for their poor danish
The younger ones she would correct for lake of life experience

She had a need to control and manipulate others. She loved pushing peoples buttons and start a row.

This woman sounds like she is insincure and is tring to suround herself with others that will give her her way without a fight. Stay away from her as much as you can.

I collect names, phone numbers, and adresses in the back of my precious little school planner.
I also collect the memories of names and faces and keep them in little glass cases.

When I read the post, I immediately thought of "fag hags", the straight women who want to spend all their time socializing with gay men instead of finding a straight partner. They're an accepted fact of life in the queer community, and nobody really gets offended by their behavior. Most people simply assume that they are hanging out with gay men because they want to avoid the usual sexual pressures that would be present in a straight relationship. Maybe this girl is just "collecting aspies" for a similar reason - she knows that we're not going to make a lot of demands for physical and emotional intimacy...