Live in or live out?

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shine_on
Hummingbird

Joined: 30 Jun 2010
Gender: Female
Posts: 21

01 Jul 2011, 4:58 am

Hi Aspie guys,

If you found someone you liked a lot and saw a future with, would you prefer to live separately and see each other a few times a week, or live together/get married? For those of you who are happily living together or married, what do you do that helps make the relationship work? I'm an NT who is a little apprehensive about the high percentage of aspie/NT live-in relationships that don't make it and am trying to work out whether it's best to live apart. Thanks for your thoughts.

hale_bopp
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Joined: 2 Nov 2004
Gender: Female
Posts: 17,054
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01 Jul 2011, 5:00 am

Separate. I don't know if I could deal with someone cramping my space.

Gremmie
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Joined: 3 Aug 2008
Age: 38
Gender: Female
Posts: 914
Location: England

01 Jul 2011, 7:57 am

I found that sharing a house with my boyfriend but having separate bedrooms (a lot like a student house) was quite a good compromise.

K-R-X
Deinonychus

Joined: 7 Jun 2011
Age: 44
Gender: Male
Posts: 317
Location: U.S.

01 Jul 2011, 8:24 am

I would prefer to live separately. That's not always an option though, with rent and what not. At the very least I would need a room of my own to retreat to that I could control. So that I wouldn't walk in to find new stuff on the floor or objects rearranged. Preferably away from the noisier parts of the house.

I'd actually be happy with a walk in closet, so long as I could fit a small bed, a couple shelves and a lamp in it.

nick007
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01 Jul 2011, 10:25 am

Defiantly live in. I don't like being alone, I'm very dependent & I'd sleep a lot better if I had my arm around someone. I also have a tendency to get completely obsessed & worry when I'm not with em

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Tim_Tex
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01 Jul 2011, 11:15 am

Living together would be my ideal scenario.

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Jory
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01 Jul 2011, 1:40 pm

In an ideal situation, I would be able to afford a big enough house for us to live under the same roof but have plenty of space.

mv
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Joined: 17 Jun 2010
Age: 57
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Posts: 3,131

01 Jul 2011, 7:34 pm

Jory wrote:

In an ideal situation, I would be able to afford a big enough house for us to live under the same roof but have plenty of space.

This. Nothing worse than an Aspie in cramped quarters...

Adam82
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Joined: 29 Jun 2010
Age: 42
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01 Jul 2011, 7:35 pm

If I could find someone, live together, preferably.

Magnus_Rex
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01 Jul 2011, 8:12 pm

I would live alone. I don't live alone, but when I get my own house, there is absolutely nothing that could change my mind about living alone. I don't even want pets, even though I like them.

shine_on
Hummingbird

Joined: 30 Jun 2010
Gender: Female
Posts: 21

03 Jul 2011, 7:26 am

Hi everyone,

Thanks for your replies. It was good to see the range of responses. If anyone has any success stories to share while living with their NT partner I'd love to hear them.

GuyInABlackSuit
Raven
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Joined: 16 Jun 2018
Age: 24
Gender: Male
Posts: 106
Location: Somewhere between rural and suburban

23 Jun 2018, 4:16 pm

Tim_Tex wrote:

Living together would be my ideal scenario.

same

yellowtamarin
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Joined: 5 Sep 2010
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,763
Location: Australia

23 Jun 2018, 6:31 pm

shine_on wrote:

If anyone has any success stories to share while living with their NT partner I'd love to hear them.

No success stories for me. I've lived with two partners, one NT and one cuspie. Moving in together was the beginning of the downward spiral for both relationships. Them being NT or not had nothing to do with it, though. I don't do well living with other humans, even as housemates.

sly279
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