NTs give bad job search advice to Aspies

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Well, it's not so much that the advice is bad...just impractical for individuals on the spectrum.

So many people know I'm unemployed (but in most cases, don't know about the AS) and they give me this type of advice:

-Make connections/network
-Go to businesses in person and pester them
-You gotta sell yourself
-You have to call before applying on-line
-You have to go over the head of the human resources and talk directly to the hiring manager

Do they have any idea how difficult this is for Aspies who tend be rules-oriented and informal?

Yes they do give bad advice and no they don't understand! They try their best but just don't get our issues cause we seem normal to them, there's no visible reason to them why we can't go into an interview and say the right things. Invisible disabilities, auggh! Of course mine has been not so invisible lately what with my panic attacks and public crying fits.

Yes, it's true that they don't get us. We can be present and talking, but not necessarily able to pick up on what kind of an impression we are making. I have been fired from many jobs with no better excuse, than the phrase "It just wasn't working out." Maybe Nts have just as much trouble reading us as we do them?

I've actually tried the "go in and pester them" thing with McJobs before... It actually didn't work most of the time...

Hi SadAspy.

Yes, I agree that job advice amongst NT people is not very useful to people with ASD.
I particular, the process of introduction and self-promotion is totally beyond me.
Also I find that writing a CV or resume is totally contrived.

I recommend a different approach, based on identifying a compatible workplace/staff set.
Compatibility is based on a work environment that makes use of your ASD skills.
Acceptance into such a workplace is based on actual performace, rather than glossy self-promotion.

For example:
I aquired my current job, basically by identifying that the boss was ASD.
He visited a course I was on, to introduce himself and his company.
I recognised (what I assumed was) his ASD, and applied in person.

During a trial period I worked hard, learned obsessively, and was genuinely interested in the work.
This satisfied the boss more than any amount of fancy resume could have, and I got the job.
I also understand approximately where he is at, and this makes me useful to him.


You may find that applying for "work experience" (i.e. unpaid intern) is a good way to prove that you are a good worker.

Assembling a file of your past work is also a good idea, and gives you something to show prospective employers. This also gives you a discussion subject that is concrete, rather than a resume which discusses your interpersonal skills and work ethic.

Yeah, that's what I'm getting at. All these people just assume I'm normal and that extroverted behavior is easy for me. They don't realize that I'd almost rather have my arm cut off than go to employers in person and ask for a job.



Actually, I don't mind resume-writing at all. What I do mind is this personal finessing of employers that I'm supposed to do to get hired.

As for your advice, no offense, but I can't imagine how I would find an employer with ASD or find a workplace that would accept it. Are you one of those "techie" Aspies? Because I'm not.

That's exactly how I feel. When I wasn't AS I could remember that I felt like I was leaving a good impression and yes I did get the jobs/offers. But now I don't, but idk my track record is pretty bad now. and the last interview i went into was a temp agency and the first time i went in there i forgot to put down a place i worked for and put other places i worked. then this time i put in the job i forgot last time and it got a little uncomfortable. we figured out the gap because last time i didn't put it and there was a gap in the dates. After that the interview went pretty quick and yeah I don't think ill be getting job offers from that place.

They seemed very strict for a 10.00 an hour job. I swear some jobs that shouldn't be that hard to get have the hardest interviews ever. TGI fridays had like a 3 step interview, ups had a pretty intense interview and this places application was ridiculous. The normal application stuff then like a double check on background, and kept track of the last jobs i applied for. I always forget what i put on the application. Then they ask me and I say something different. lol and yeah i filled out this first step interview and they lady said alright sounds good. I had no idea what she was saying with that. Did I pass did I fail?

if you ain't in a wheel chair you ain't disabled seems to be the common view. i've noticed that people will try to get me into jobs that involve lots of standing even though my feet are screwed up. i can still lift weights and walk a good distance (around 4 miles in my new orthotics and shoes, about 8 in my old orthotics) and somehow, being able to walk for 2 hours means i can stand all day.

i don't think this has anything to with them not understanding. they understand just find. they just don't care. i listened to such people and went from being able to stand 8 hours a day every now and then in shoes, i couldn't do that every day, to being able to stand 1-2 hours tops in shoes now. and you know why? because i listened to idiots like these you're talking about. i ended up not feeling my toes for 4 months until about 3 weeks after i quit that job and now have permanently enlarged nerves in my feet to go along with my metatarsals being to close together.

now i'm dealing with the government and they keep trying to stick me into standing jobs or trying to have me labelled as something i'm not just so that they can blame their problems on that. actually, now they aren't even doing anything but wasting tax money sitting on their butts doing the most half assed jobs they can.

that's something i don't get, how do so many people who suck at their jobs get them? i never could understand that.


these people do not and will not care. to them you are merely an inconvenience or even a liar. you have to find a way to go around them and stay away from them. they will only bring stress and misery to your life.

and i think you are making a good step in doing that by typing here.

as to how to find a job when you have issues, especially sensory issues, i don't know. it's hard nowadays if you don't know anyone. the job market is far worse than the odumma admin and many of the news writers wish to admit. there are almost NO jobs out there for anyone lacking experience. there are engineers who are forced to do odd jobs just to get by since they can't find any real jobs with their skills.

and that's another problem. your parents grew up in an age when finding jobs was easy and when people could get into entry level positions that used their skills and would hone them and add to them. nowadays there is none of that. they want you to have experience from the get go even though you've got no way to get it.

so, get away from these people if you can. ignore them if you can't. some older people realize how hard it is to get a job nowadays. they realize that nowadays a basic labor job at something like MacDonalds pays NO WHERE NEAR what it paid in their day. I've heard older people with degrees talk about how they could work during the summer and have enough money from that alone to fund their year at college. now you could work for years at just such a job and not have enough to do anything with it.

upward mobility has almost been destroyed for those of us who aren't linked to wealthy people and who don't have some amazing skill that people value.

also, remember, even Nikola Tesla dug ditches at one point. many times people are just too stupid to see the value in others. and that's another problem....

NTs place greater value on worthless social skills than they do on good work habits! It doesn't matter to them that you suck at your job. They care more that you can play the pointless social games that they thrive upon. The person who shows up for work on time, comes in early and leaves late, and does all that they are supposed to, will get fired. And the person who shows up late, does sh***y work, but also makes a practice of bringing in a box of stale donuts and giving out plenty of toothy, insincere smiles has more job security.