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MR20
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18 Jul 2011, 2:55 pm

I'm sick of people on this site thinking that other people have the same skills and tools as they do. They are born in good families, with good looks, brains, or are able to make friends so they're able to get past most of their problems with Autism/AS.

That was never the case with me. My father was a crackhead and my mom is a schizo so my grandma had to raise me my and sister on just SSI and foodstamps because we were so poor. My house was and is still in such bad condition that we can't use the bathroom because it's rat infested. They're are also holes everywhere and no hot water.

I'm extremely ugly as the girls I tried to talk to in my teens would attest. I had no chance with girls back then and it's much of the same now. I'm made fun of by dudes, and you know you're ugly if males are calling you that. I hate my appearance, I'm very insecure about it and I feel like people can tell something is wrong with me just by looking at my face.

I''ll been called stupid and slow by numerous of people throughout my life. I was in special ed for all of elementary, then i was put in regular classes in 6th grade. Needless to say it was hell. I didn't have any friends, people picked on me because i was slow and looked funny, and I couldn't concentrate on my work during class. I flunked all grades through MS but they kept passing me (probably i was "special") I finally dropped out in HS after repeating the 9th grade.

I have no friends and I've never had any "real" friends. In my teens people only hung with me because they were bored or wanted to play my games. Of course they made fun of me, my sister, and my house for being so dirty. Went it came time to go somewhere like the mall or to the movies I couldn't pay them to take me with them. No way would they want to be seen with someone like me in public

I've been jumped numerous times, had my stuff stolen, humiliated in front of a large group of people. I've also had piss thown on me a couple times. All by "friends" who I cared for at the time. They picked on me even though they knew I didn't have it all, how cruel is that.

It went on like this until finally I locked myself inside my house to play my video games and anime. at least they won't betray, shun, or make fun of me. I don't go anywhere, and I don't have contact with other people unless I'm chatting online. It's been that way for the past 4 years, and it'll probably be this way for the rest of my life.

No friends, no prom, no marriages, no kids, no good memories. No hope for the future and I'll be alone for as long as I live. All because I was born a certain way. It isn't fair.



MakaylaTheAspie
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18 Jul 2011, 3:11 pm

All I can say is I'm sorry if you have felt that way, because I know I'm not like that to other forum users.


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OneStepBeyond
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18 Jul 2011, 3:13 pm

i'm sorry

life isnt fair



MakaylaTheAspie
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18 Jul 2011, 3:29 pm

http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt167486.html

You're not the only one who had a bad parent.


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Sweetleaf
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18 Jul 2011, 3:30 pm

That really is not right at all, those people are a-holes. I think you need to somehow find a way out of that for things to get any better. I know that is usually a lot easier said than done though....do you have any other family members or anyone else you talk to besides your sister and grandmother? I don't really know what to do about something like that but...if you know anyone else maybe they could help.



Sweetleaf
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18 Jul 2011, 3:31 pm

MakaylaTheAspie wrote:
http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt167486.html

You're not the only one who had a bad parent.


Maybe I missed it but I do not see where MR20 said he was the only one with a bad parent.



Jellybean
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18 Jul 2011, 3:31 pm

Some on this site do seem to assume that EVERYONE is above average intelligence... I'm not. I had a rough time growing up too although probably not quite as bad as yours :(

((((air hug))))


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MakaylaTheAspie
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18 Jul 2011, 3:40 pm

Sweetleaf wrote:
MakaylaTheAspie wrote:
http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt167486.html

You're not the only one who had a bad parent.


Maybe I missed it but I do not see where MR20 said he was the only one with a bad parent.


And neither did I.


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Sweetleaf
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18 Jul 2011, 3:43 pm

MakaylaTheAspie wrote:
Sweetleaf wrote:
MakaylaTheAspie wrote:
http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt167486.html

You're not the only one who had a bad parent.


Maybe I missed it but I do not see where MR20 said he was the only one with a bad parent.


And neither did I.


It seemed implied.



Sweetleaf
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18 Jul 2011, 3:47 pm

Jellybean wrote:
Some on this site do seem to assume that EVERYONE is above average intelligence... I'm not. I had a rough time growing up too although probably not quite as bad as yours :(

((((air hug))))


Even some of us that do have above average intelligence had a rough time growing up...and well there are some things I am not above average in like math which I am way below my age level so math related things are hard for me. But yeah as intelligent as I am I still came off as slow because it takes me a while to process things and well when you are more intelligent then most of your classmates and seem slow then when you try to convince them you are intelligent they have no idea what you are talking about so they dismiss it as stupidity.



Callista
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18 Jul 2011, 3:56 pm

You really, really aren't alone. Many of us were abused and generally mistreated. Many of us come from lower-class households. Many of us had parents who didn't care, and many of us don't have and/or don't want friends, romance, or a "normal life". Many of us, I think, put on a good face here because it can be uncomfortable to discuss one's own problems.

It's impossible for one person to know what another person is feeling, but I am pretty sure that your problems are ones that other people here have had and successfully lived with or solved.


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MrXxx
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18 Jul 2011, 4:14 pm

MR20 wrote:
I'm sick of people on this site thinking that other people have the same skills and tools as they do. They are born in good families, with good looks, brains, or are able to make friends so they're able to get past most of their problems with Autism/AS.


I only cut out the rest of your post to keep this one shorter. I can see how your life and the way you've been treated would give you quite a crappy attitude. Sounds a lot like my childhood in all seriousness.

For me, that was a long time ago, and I've learned a few things since then.

I can't help but ask at least a couple of questions.

You said "people on this site thinking other people have the same skills and tools as they do..." What's giving you this impression? I'm not asking you to name anyone, just curious what's been going on that causes you to feel this way. You don't have to be specific. I'm just wondering where this is coming from. I've had some of my own "experiences" here, but that was a while ago, and I'm not going to assume they are the same.

The other thing though, that is a bit troublsome to me is this.

Quote:
They are born in good families, with good looks, brains, or are able to make friends so they're able to get past most of their problems with Autism/AS.



Who is? How do you know? You've met all "these people?" Met their families? Seen them? (to know they are good looking?), How could you possibly know any of this is true of any of them?

My avatar isn't me. Most avatars here don't show what anybody really looks like.

I think you're making a lot of assumptions about people here that you have so basis to make.

MOST of us here are very dysfunctional, haven't had great childhoods, (some worse than others), and even those of us who might be good looking, for the most part don't believe we are.

I really think your assessment of what "people" are like is just as unfair as life was to you.

I'm sorry if your life sucks. I really do. I'm very sorry if anyone has been mean or unfair to you here, but don't make assumptions about all of us about things you couldn't possibly know.

If you've been bullied here, remember this. Bullies are dysfunctional themselves. Most have had a rough life themselves, and are just transferring their frustrations from where they ought to be to others who don't deserve it just as much as they didn't when they got it.

The FACT is, very few bullies are people like what you described. ALL bullies are messed up.


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MR20
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18 Jul 2011, 4:56 pm

MrXxx wrote:
You said "people on this site thinking other people have the same skills and tools as they do..." What's giving you this impression? I'm not asking you to name anyone, just curious what's been going on that causes you to feel this way. You don't have to be specific. I'm just wondering where this is coming from. I've had some of my own "experiences" here, but that was a while ago, and I'm not going to assume they are the same.

I'm talking about mostly people in the Love and Dating and Social Skills and Making Friends. I've lurked on this site for 3 years until I join late last year. It's always same thing. They tell people to blend in with "normal' people by dressing the latest fashion or try to get into the same hobbies as them. They also tell you to read self-help books and-or mimic NT's social actions. They even suggest therapy. (as if that would help)

That stuff only works if you look halfway normal and you're not perceived as slow/retarded.

They also say to get out of your comfort zone and force yourself outside to meet people. I don't want to leave my happy place/comfort zone just to have people look down, laugh, and make fun of me. I've had enough of that in my tweens to early 20's

BTW they say to get used to and be happy being single.

I've been single and alone my whole f****n' life. I'm sick of it and I'll never be happy being alone.

If you complain about being friendless or not having so much as a kiss from the opposite sex in your life, they'll chastise you and talk down to you for not "trying hard enough"

It's a cycle. It's been that way since I first came to this site.





The other thing though, that is a bit troublsome to me is this.

Quote:
They are born in good families, with good looks, brains, or are able to make friends so they're able to get past most of their problems with Autism/AS.



Who is? How do you know? You've met all "these people?" Met their families? Seen them? (to know they are good looking?), How could you possibly know any of this is true of any of them?

My avatar isn't me. Most avatars here don't show what anybody really looks like.

I think you're making a lot of assumptions about people here that you have so basis to make.

I didn't say that a person had to have all of those qualities. You probably only need one or two along with a drive to make it past most of the problems. Sadly I was born with none so I was destined to end up the way I am now.





MakaylaTheAspie
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18 Jul 2011, 5:01 pm

MrXxx wrote:
My avatar isn't me. Most avatars here don't show what anybody really looks like.


Which is exactly why I resized a photo of me and made it my avatar.


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Tuttle
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18 Jul 2011, 5:09 pm

You are making a lot of assumptions about people in this. But I can tell you this

1. I have never pretended to be NT.
2. I have a boyfriend.
3. Our relationship is not at all based off of physical attractiveness - in fact, I personally don't view people as physically attractive or not.
4. He did not have an easy life growing up - I won't give details, they're not mine to give, but you're not alone in that.


Truthfully, all of what you have said doesn't mean that you'll be alone forever.


However yes, how some people talk about 'not trying hard enough' or "lowering standards for a friend or SO" is actually something I'll take offense to. Assuming that a meaningless relationship is something I'll call a friendship because I'm lonely, hurts.