People who don't believe you have autism

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cnidocyte
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26 Jul 2011, 6:28 am

On a different forum some guy after commenting on how I can speak English well claimed that most people diagnosed with high functioning autism are just social failures. How can I refute an accusation like this? As if living your whole life incapable of being normal no matter how much effort you put in isn't bad enough, there are people that try to convince you that the condition you're diagnosed with doesn't exist and that you're just a social failure. There must be solid ways to prove that HFA/aspergers is a real condition and ways to prove that you have it. I have a big clump of callus on my left hand from a particular stim I have where I drive my right fist into my left hand (this is by far my favorite stim). There isn't really any other way to get callus in this exact area and clearly this behaviour is not something a neurotypical person would engage in so I'm guessing thats a bit of solid proof that I have a mental condition but there must be some generic ways that can prove without a doubt whether or not you have autism. I have so many bizarre behaviours, nobody that knows me doubts that I have autism but people who don't know me very well never believe me when I say that I'm diagnosed with high functioning autism. They also make it out like they're complimenting me by telling me I don't have it. Little do they know that thats far from a compliment because I have to live with the negative aspects of this condition and without being diagnosed I'd be back to square one not knowing what the hells wrong with me. I'm guessing lots of you here can relate to this. Have you looked into ways of obtaining solid evidence as to whether or not you have HFA? I have very little doubt as to whether or not I have the condition myself but I want other people to see it as it is so they'll stop acting on their ignorant preconceptions.



Name121314
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26 Jul 2011, 6:46 am

Some neurotypical people think it's a fake disorder. People are ignorant to some things. Your proof is fitting the diagnostic criteria. You should look up information about genetics and Autism. Special interest,sensory overload,clumsiness,and need for routine are other symptoms,and you should tell people that. It's not just social difficulties.



Alternative
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26 Jul 2011, 7:03 am

The ignorant cannot see that Autism/Asperger's Syndrome is an invisible disability.

One that affects the person's social skills etc.

Yes, you can pretend to be Autistic, but why would you want to? If excluding actors for films of course, but it's petty.

If I didn't have the support that I did at my youth, I would be more worse off than I am today, and people would think I was more of a 'ret*d' than Autistic.

Because that's how ignorant society is.



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26 Jul 2011, 7:54 am

Until the brain scan is accessable to us high functioning types, some people will never accept the dx.

I know many artistic rightbrained aspies who can just pass as mildly eccentric. I also know. Many skillful psychologists who wd dx ptsd and miss AS completely. I feel that the public has such a narrow understanding of the spectrum that it will take many many more years for even professionals to appreciate how broad the spectrum is.

Some aspies adaptive behavior becomes so convincing unless they hit a massive depression the roots of their nature are never known......and even then, it often gets overlooked

I would stick my neck out here and say this......it can be deeply insulting to tell an aspie who survived the world that they are not what they claim to be......however, we who know are the lucky ones.......let anybody think what they wish my friend



cnidocyte
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26 Jul 2011, 8:24 am

Alternative wrote:
If I didn't have the support that I did at my youth, I would be more worse off than I am today, and people would think I was more of a 'ret*d' than Autistic.


I didn't get diagnosed until a few years ago so I lived most my life with no idea I had it and yeah most people thought I was ret*d or "simple". Years ago my brother told me that "everyone asks me if you're simple after they first meet you" and he made it out like this was my fault as if I was doing it intentionally or something. In fact before I was diagnosed, my whole family assumed that I was being the way I was intentionally to be an outcast or rebel or something. It was only after I got diagnosed that they realised that I wasn't being different to make some kind of social statement. My brother knows I have autism now but is still an ignorant prick that uses my disabilities to gain an advantage over me. Yeah some people live with their heads up their holes and see things how they want to see them so they can maintain their narrow view of reality. Growing up my brother would always have a verbal advantage over me, even though I knew I was right in what I was trying to say he would always have the upper hand because he was better at using words so I always ended up resorting to using my fists to settle disputes. I suspect that many people with HFA may be prone to violence for this very reason. Theres nothing more frustrating than being incapable of speaking your mind and having people take advantage of this inability to speak for yourself. Life was so much easier when I was a kid because it was perfectly acceptable to resort to using your firsts to settle disputes but now that I'm an adult I can't do that anymore so I'm left powerless to defend myself.

quaker wrote:
Some aspies adaptive behavior becomes so convincing unless they hit a massive depression the roots of their nature are never known......and even then, it often gets overlooked

I would stick my neck out here and say this......it can be deeply insulting to tell an aspie who survived the world that they are not what they claim to be......however, we who know are the lucky ones.......let anybody think what they wish my friend

Most NT's also seem to not be aware of the fact that most people with HFA/ASD (especially the ones who haven't been diagnosed) put a lot of effort into masking their symptoms so they can pass for normal which is often required to function in society. Yeah true freedom comes when you can truly not care about what others think of you. I think a concept that makes this a lot easier is the knowledge of the fact that everyone perceives the world based on what they believe, not what they know it doesn't really matter what anyone thinks of you since thats just what their believe system leads them to think.



LuckyLeft
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26 Jul 2011, 8:54 am

I've seen on one post (not on this site) that someone stated that she doesn't believe in ASDs, only Autism. Ignorance at its finest, because Autism is an ASD. I've seen people say that there's no way certain famous people (Thomas Jefferson, Bill Gates,Charles Schultz etc.) can have it, and it cheapens Autistic and Gifted people. A lot of people think it's a fad like ADD/ADHD and feel that parents are giving their kids an excuse to act out. I don't think that's being overdiagnosed as much as it's the doctor's details have became more refined over the years.

I think a lot of NTs believe you can fix the child with speech therapy with certain ASDs, and you child will become 'normal', ergo, you're 'cured'. It seems as is if a lot of people treat it like it's a disease and its not. It's not a flu that you can just take some Robintessum for and be eventually be better. I know this from personal experience, because my parents (mom in particular) didn't believe I had my ASD anymore after I was done with my speech therapy in elementary school. And there's a huge difference talking to mothers of ASD children/people and actually talking to the Autistic people. I know I am fortunate to 'fit in' better because of my sports knowledge, but I still struggle often, considering my peer group. And people usually treated me different from everyone else, whether its negative or positive. I've been able to fool people, but only for short periods. It can be exhausting trying to masquerade your eccentricities for extended periods of time. Especially if you were under the impression you were 'adapting', but in actuality, you were being something that you were not....


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26 Jul 2011, 8:57 am

I know of no way to prove it to those who don't want to acknowledge it. People who deny HFA/AS or the existence of other neurological disabilities are a waste of my time. Is there a reason you need to prove how your brain works to that person? Or do you just want to prove it to them? Or just tell them and teach them about it?

If they are basically open-minded, know me and I like them, but they have a very narrow understanding of what HFA is supposed to be like, I might try to talk about it. By now, I found it works to point out one or two noticeable, very bad (and not too personal) symptoms that are mostly out of my control and that are comparable to behaviours and difficulties of people with MR or physical disabilities.

I make clear that my brain causes it and that while I can do this or that to try to manage it, even my hugest efforts cannot make the symptoms/behaviours disappear and that I cannot decide not to have the symptom because my brain is impaired.

I save the more neutral descriptions for people who are wiling to listen or know a thing or two about how humans function. Sometimes I add them afterwards, slowly, carefully, to teach them that disabled people have impairments in doing things the way others do, but that there are always different ways to do the same things, to get the same results and "to enjoy life together".


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26 Jul 2011, 9:08 am

"The average person tends to look at the world through rose-colored glasses" - Old saying, no idea who stated it. Basically, people see what they want to see, whether it involves the realistic or not. Explaining a complex neural diagnosis to the average ignorant person would be "like explaining color to someone who was born blind." Point is, the average person doesnt really care for much outside of what they think, but some out there are more accepting of new information than others.

One description of AS/Autism i'm thinking of using is this: The average person has a number of filters in their mind so they can absorb the information they need to while ignoring a most of what they dont (ie: talking to someone while not getting too distracted by other people walking about). Those on the spectrum lack many of these filters, and their minds are taking in more information than the brain can handle. Thus they're overwhelmed to the point of social withdrawl. This has less to do with bullying and more to do with environmental discomfort.

How does this description sound?



kfisherx
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26 Jul 2011, 9:20 am

Uh... Serious question here.

Why do you care?

People are generally idiots about most anything that isn't about them or the latest pop culture (they all seem to know about that for some reason). Who cares what they think about you?



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26 Jul 2011, 10:17 am

They're too busy thinking about the next episode of American Idol to be interested in listening to us.


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26 Jul 2011, 11:06 am

I always get you don't act like rainman so your not autistic. :roll:


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26 Jul 2011, 2:59 pm

As much as I have come far in being disinterested in weather someone believes me or not, I would like to think that by the time my little boy grows up there will be less ignorance and misinformation around HFA so he won't have to unnecessary suffer like so many of us here have



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26 Jul 2011, 3:03 pm

The reason I can't be autistic is because I'm female and people think autism is something you can superficially spot on a person as if it's down syndrome. I can pull off 5-10 minute conversations without stimming. Although after 10 minutes it starts to show more but most people are quite ignorant on the subject thinking that because they watch Oprah and Dr. Phil that they know all there is to know about autism.



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26 Jul 2011, 5:02 pm

cnidocyte wrote:
On a different forum some guy after commenting on how I can speak English well claimed that most people diagnosed with high functioning autism are just social failures. How can I refute an accusation like this?


I wouldn't bother to refute it. Clearly, this guy is pretty ignorant and likes being that way.

I've run into similar statements made elsewhere, and it rather intrigues me that when NTs want to question the validity of "high-functioning autism" or Asperger's Syndrome, or generally diagnosing anyone they can't look at and immediately categorize as autistic that they latch onto social deficits as the primary reason for anyone to have such a diagnosis.

When someone actually said this to me, the suggestion was that most people diagnosed with AS are just introverts, and don't really have any deficits. I found this fascinating as I don't find being introverted all that much of a personal burden (although others seem to feel that it is a personal failing), and that there are many other reasons I looked into a diagnosis in the first place.

I think the entire train of thought that it's strictly about an inability to socialize perhaps says more about the person saying it than about you. I agree with kfisherx - who cares? The only reason I could see to try to refute his statements is so that other people who read the discussion can see what an arse he is, but I doubt he's going to be convinced.



MakaylaTheAspie
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26 Jul 2011, 5:12 pm

cnidocyte wrote:
On a different forum some guy after commenting on how I can speak English well claimed that most people diagnosed with high functioning autism are just social failures.


Either this guy has never met/never gotten to know someone with HFA, or is just plain ignorant. The fact that he is discrimminating against autism would make anyone on here upset. Put up links and other things for him to look at, as your proof. You can also share more about yourself. If this guy has the balls to understand that autism is real, he will back off. If he doesn't, well, he's missing out on a conversation with a wonderful person. Don't let one nay sayer ruin a website for you.


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27 Jul 2011, 5:04 am

Quote:
Uh... Serious question here.

Why do you care?


I don't really care that people are ignorant about Autism, it's just an observation kfisherx. :)