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user1001
Sea Gull
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27 Jul 2011, 10:40 am

So I am 17 and I don't have any friends to talk to and I never socially interact with anyone so one of the main problems I have is keeping a conversation going or starting one. Whenever I am in a conversation my main problem is I don't know what to contribute to it. I often will be completely random and be captain obvious and just blurt out the most obvious things. I get responces like "No **** sherlock" by other people or "No! Really?" And I just feel embarrassed and stupid whenever someone responds to me like that. I would like to know. How can I not be nervous when starting a conversation or interacting with people?



johnny421
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27 Jul 2011, 12:25 pm

hello. just wanted to say that you are so young still and that as people around you grow up, they generally won't act like such jerks to you. would you ever tell someone that something that they said was stupid when they're just trying to talk to you? i'm guessing not cuz you seem like a nice person. with this in mind, people who make you feel stupid or embarrassed are not worth being around.

trust me, you will meet lots of people in your life who will give you the respect you deserve! :D



Spazzergasm
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27 Jul 2011, 12:57 pm

I bet your biggest problem is the people around you don't seem to know how to have conversations either. They sound rude.

You've really just got to be alert. Listen to what the person is saying, and be naturally curious about it. It helps to know some basics for starting conversation, too. You can comment on the weather, or ask them how they're doing. Or comment on something in your environment, or ask them a question about it.
Maybe try talking to some quiet people that seems nicer than ones who would say "no s**t sherlock" to someone they don't know that well?



K-R-X
Deinonychus
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27 Jul 2011, 12:59 pm

A - listen to what the other person is saying. Anything that comes to mind that is unrelated to that topic exclude/don't say. Anything that is related and not against the social rules you can go ahead and say.
B - if you are ever talking at the same time as someone else, stop talking immediatly. Don't finish the sentance, don't talk louder. If they stop too say "sorry, go ahead."
C - if the conversation goes dead for ten full seconds, it is usually ok to bring up a new topic or end the conversation.



Christopherwillson
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17 Sep 2011, 2:01 pm

i am 16 and don't know how to do this myself either :P
i usually let people rage on about themselves and ask them questions about them, they sometimes ask me questions about myself and then we end up having a pretty descent conversation.


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League_Girl
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17 Sep 2011, 3:54 pm

Just start asking them random things like about their life style or how many brothers and sisters they have and what job they have, if their parents are married or divorced. Wait, that might not be any of my business so I have no idea. In fact I think it's everyone else who can't keep it going because they are the ones who stop talking to me so they failed at the conversation, not me. :lol:


Sometimes I do have a normal conversation because I happen to have things to say. In fact if I get too into it, I am the one who is doing all the talking and they are hardly saying anything. One of my aspie friends had noticed I can have one off and on. My mind is weird, it goes aspie and NT. That is why I say my symptoms aren't black and white, they come and go. But I don't know how to explain how I do it. It just comes natural to me and then it doesn't so I have a hard time with it. Even if I did want to join in, I still have a hard time with it but it's easier with my family because they accept me and not ignore me or get mad at me. I just feel I can be myself more around them.

It's a possibility those kids are just jerks.



whalewatcher
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17 Sep 2011, 7:20 pm

Ask the other person a question: "Do you know....? What to do you think about...? Did you see on the news...?"

Any sort of question, but you're getting the other person to participate and move the conversation along. This will then give you more material to work with and respond to.



KathySilverstein
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18 Sep 2011, 12:33 am

Teenagers, I don't have any idea how to do that with them. But as for anyone older...
I like some of the tips already given. My rule of thumb..... first I try to make sure I'm not seeming too anxious when I approach someone (as much as I am able, anyway), then try to find something mutual to comment on. Usually that's the weather. "Beautiful day out, isn't it?" If I get a good response to that, I keep going. "So what are you up to today?" Hopefully that answer will spawn follow up questions that you can ask about the person. Always try to err on the side of asking about another person's life, rather than talking about your own, when you don't know them very well. If not a good response to initial question, forget it and move on to someone else. This works best with only 1 other person, more than 1 and I can't help you.


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