Men who are into weight loss

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If a guy is on weightloss program how does it affect his chances on friends/relationships with girls
POSITIVE effect on friends part, POSITIVE effect on relationship part 27%  27%  [ 3 ]
POSITIVE effect on friends part, NEUTRAL on relationship part 9%  9%  [ 1 ]
POSITIVE effect on friends part, NEGATIVE effect on relationship part 9%  9%  [ 1 ]
NEUTRAL effect on friends part, POSITIVE effect on relationship part 36%  36%  [ 4 ]
NEUTRAL on friends part, NEUTRAL on relationship part 18%  18%  [ 2 ]
NEUTRAL on friends part, NEGATIVE on relationship part 0%  0%  [ 0 ]
NEGATIVE effect on friends part, POSITIVE effect on relationship part 0%  0%  [ 0 ]
NEGATIVE effect on friends part, NEUTRAL on relationship part 0%  0%  [ 0 ]
NEGATIVE effect on friends part, NEGATIVE effect on relationship part 0%  0%  [ 0 ]
Total votes : 11

Roman
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27 Jul 2011, 9:57 pm

So a couple of days ago someone approached me with an ad of a free trial body fat analyisis that is only available for a couple of days. I guess because of it being free and nearby, in combination with ony being available freely for one day, I decided to go. So when I went there they offered me to test their herbal program for one week -- this time not free. But still India is cheap so I agreed. The program consists of drinking some kind of tea that is supposed to clean my system and afterwords have "breakfast" which is another drink consisting of some stuff.

Anyway, during the time I was drinking tea some girl there started to talk to me. Now, I myself am white but I am in India for the postdoc. So, since I am not interested in girls of other races, I don't really care whether she likes me or not. And, the chances are, on her part the picture is the same: she probably considers me no-no because I am non-Indan. But I guess the fact that girls don't normally start talking to me so easilly, and this girl did, it just brought an interesting question to my mind. I have a theory that BECAUSE OF the fact that I was on wieghtloss program, she perceived me as "another girl" and THATS why she started talking to me (after all, when it comes to friendships, girls usually make friendships with fellow girls).

Now, if my theory is correct, this means that going to weightloss program would HELP get female friends but at the same time, KILL all the chances of getting a date. After all, a girl would prefer to make friends with another girl. Thus, going to weightloss program will make me look like a girl and, therefore, enhance my chances of making friends with her. AT THE SAME TIME a girl does NOT want to date another girl (unless she is a lesbian or something). Thus, going to weightloss program will make her simply cross me out of a list of potential suitors. I guess it is probably the same phenomenon as what happens to gay men. They probably have much easier time getting friends (in a lot of girl activities straight guys are not welcome but gay guys are) but, obviously, a lot harder time getting a date (even if gay man wants to date a girl for the sake of social acceptance, he would probably be turned down anyway).

But obviously there is always more than one side to the same coin. It is also possible that if a guy is on a weightloss program it might increase his chances to date a girl, especially if she is fed up with guys who don't take care of themselves but finally here is a guy that does. On the other hand, it might also decrease his chances of being just friends with her. For instance, she might decide he is gay and, due to her Christian morals, she might be against making friends with anyone gay (whether man or woman). So I guess there are a lot of factors there and I would like to ask you guys of what you believe is the "statistical average" outcome of going on weight loss programs.

This poll has 9 options. Going to weightloss program has either positive, neutral, or negative effect on friends with a girl and it also has either positive, neutral or negative effect on relationship with a girl. So there are 3*3=9 combinations. Check the one you agree with the most.



ValentineWiggin
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27 Jul 2011, 11:09 pm

Roman wrote:
After all, a girl would prefer to make friends with another girl.

Guess I'm not a girl then. :roll:
Roman wrote:
Thus, going to weightloss program will make me look like a girl and, therefore, enhance my chances of making friends with her. AT THE SAME TIME a girl does NOT want to date another girl (unless she is a lesbian or something).

Right, because wanting to lose weight is something only chicks do.
Roman wrote:
It is also possible that if a guy is on a weightloss program it might increase his chances to date a girl, especially if she is fed up with guys who don't take care of themselves but finally here is a guy that does.

Right, because losing weight is synonymous with "taking care of" yourself, and having the weight to lose means you didn't previously.
Roman wrote:
On the other hand, it might also decrease his chances of being just friends with her. For instance, she might decide he is gay and, due to her Christian morals, she might be against making friends with anyone gay (whether man or woman).

Right, because only gay men want to lose weight, and you should be aiming to not turn off anti-gay Christian bigots.

Broad generalizations, sex stereotyping, fat shaming, and gay stereotyping all in one post.

This is a fail.


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Roman
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28 Jul 2011, 12:10 am

ValentineWiggin wrote:
Roman wrote:
After all, a girl would prefer to make friends with another girl.

Guess I'm not a girl then. :roll:


I wasn't taught this stereotype. I merely concluded it based on the observation that I often see 5 girls and no guys walking down the street; while things like 3 girls/ 2 guys or 3 guys / 2 girls are less common.

ValentineWiggin wrote:
Roman wrote:
Thus, going to weightloss program will make me look like a girl and, therefore, enhance my chances of making friends with her. AT THE SAME TIME a girl does NOT want to date another girl (unless she is a lesbian or something).

Right, because wanting to lose weight is something only chicks do.


I never used the word "only". Guys do it too. But there are MORE girls than guys that do it. Thats why the guys who do it might be considered "affeminite", even though there are some affemininte guys out there.

I understand what you are getting at that I am being prejudiced. But sexual attraction IS prejudiced, whether you like it or not. I mean, if you take some liberal who believes that homosexuality is okay. But that liberal happens to be straight. Then he will still go for the partner of the opposite gender DESPITE his belief that it is okay to be with same gender. Likewise, if you take a straight girl who beliefs that man and woman should be equal in the family unit. She will STILL prefer confident men over weaker ones even though the confident men would probably be the dominating figure, contrary to her views.

So I guess the bottom line is that, when it comes to sexual attraction, people are "programmed" to obey certain stereotypes even when intellectually they don't agree with them. And that is why even if a girl intellectually feels that weight loss is not a "girl thing" she would still not be sexually attracted to a guy on a weight loss program. Now, true, he will be a very good friends of hers. In fact she will probably admire the fact that he is not so "superficial" as to limit himself to only guy things. And she will also admire the fact that he has broader interests than typical guy. But still, she wont' date him. He will be similar to the "nice guy" who has a lot of traits that girl appreciates but who fails to get her attracted to him.

ValentineWiggin wrote:
Roman wrote:
It is also possible that if a guy is on a weightloss program it might increase his chances to date a girl, especially if she is fed up with guys who don't take care of themselves but finally here is a guy that does.

Right, because losing weight is synonymous with "taking care of" yourself, and having the weight to lose means you didn't previously.


I think you simply misread what I wrote. I never said "and having the weight to lose means you didn't previously". What I meant to say was this:

1) If a guy is on weight loss program then cleary he DOES take care of himself. Even if he has weight to lose, he still takes care of himself. He wouldn't have been in this program if he didn't

2) The fact that he has weight to lose DESPITE taking care of himself shows that he is genetically "weak", that is, affeminite.

By the way, an average woman has much higher body fat percentage than an average man. This is DESPITE the fact that women take better care of themselves than men do. What it boils down to is that a man is someone who is naturally strong but he might be lazy and not try hard. A woman is someone who is naturally weak but she tries her best to get into shape. Now a guy on a weight loss program will probably be "like a woman" in both of these respects. As far "taking good care of himself" this might make a girl admire him and want to be his friend. But as far as being affeminite/weak, that is what will make her not want to be anything more than a friend.

ValentineWiggin wrote:
Roman wrote:
On the other hand, it might also decrease his chances of being just friends with her. For instance, she might decide he is gay and, due to her Christian morals, she might be against making friends with anyone gay (whether man or woman).

Right, because only gay men want to lose weight, and you should be aiming to not turn off anti-gay Christian bigots.


I merely said that SOME PEOPLE might think that a man trying to lose weight is gay and they might dislike him. I weren't agreeing or disagreeing with them. Now I happened to be a Christian so I disapprove of homosexuality. But that should be a subject of another post. As far as this post is concerned I am asking about public opinion. The question "what would majority of women think when the man comes across as gay" has NO logical relation with the question "do you, personally, approve of homosexuality or not". So these questions should stay separate.



Roman
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28 Jul 2011, 10:13 pm

Just to clarify: the purpose of this post is purely sociological: I want to ask you guys what you would expect an average NT woman to think/do, independantly of whether it is right or wrong. The stuff I was talking about are merely my own speculations; I am not trying to push these opinions on others. I merely trying to present some possibilities of what women MIGHT think, just to get the ball rolling. But obviously I am not one of the women so I dont' honestly know what they think. Hopefully some women will come forward and tell us what they actually think. In this case it is important to point out that the poll is asking about the "average woman" as opposed to the preference of the specific woman that is answering the poll. At the same time, a woman is welcome to describe her own preferences, outside the poll. Men are similarly welcome to say what they would expect an average woman to believe in their experience; but they should keep in mind they are answering the question about hte preferences of women towards them (NOT their own preferences towards women!) All opinions are welcome. I just want to make a survey to find overall take on it.



Greatsharkbite
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29 Jul 2011, 12:59 am

Quote:
the purpose of this post is purely sociological: I want to ask you guys what you would expect an average NT woman to think/do, independantly of whether it is right or wrong. The stuff I was talking about are merely my own speculations; I am not trying to push these opinions on others.


Well, I don't think she approached you because she thought you were like another girl just because you were on a weight loss program. Girls or.. people in general, approach people just to talk. Now her motivations.. coulda ranged from boredom, to curiousity.. or even just have a crush on you.

But her seeing you as another girl doesn't really seem like something that would fit. Maybe she saw you as omeone who she had something in common with (if she was on the program also that is).

Don't think she saw you as effeminate--but depending on your build (Overweight, skinny, etc) might've been enough to make her curious. Particularly--if it didn't look as if you needed weightloss.

Also.. do not agree that a girl wouldn't like a guy just because he was on a weight loss problem. Girls and guys alike like members of the opposite sex who care about their physical appearance to a certain extent.

I don't see guys being dumped into a friends only category for weightloss, or liking flowers, or even watching the movie titanic. Its true that women don't usually care for "feminine" guys, but 1 perceived trait isn't enough to make a break a person. I.E. Sports like football isn't a stereotypical female hobby, yet 99% of guys wouldn't let something like that stop them from dating.

Actually in some cases it helps-- for instance, girls playing video games is something guys really like nowadays and yet its not a stereotypical female hobby (Demographic leans towards men).

Actually my girlfriend LOVES when I watch "chick flicks" like Titanic with her.

I don't see how weightloss could effect friendship at all other than to have something to use as a topic for something to talk about.

Relationship.. better physique normally is something that your significant other appreciates, but at that point, they loved you for you. A work-in-progress diet isn't going to help you attract anyone and if it does, you should in my opinion be fairly wary of that person.

But yeah, imo both are neutral for the most part--I don't see how it would make a difference at all.



Roman
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19 Apr 2012, 9:24 pm

Could it also be that the girls I turn off would probably be more likely to approach me simply because they perceive me as "non threatening"? I think I read this somewhere on the internet although I am not sure to what extend this might be true or not.



edgewaters
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19 Apr 2012, 10:06 pm

Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar.



Delphiki
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19 Apr 2012, 10:08 pm

Well I do not want to lose weight, I want to gain weight. me skinny

It would depend partially on how much he weighs. It would not help me in a relationship if I decided to lose 10 lbs.



Stargazer43
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19 Apr 2012, 10:22 pm

Why would wanting to lose weight make you look like a girl? I've never heard of a guy being called "effeminate" for wanting to get in better shape. Achieving a healthy weight is one of the most beneficial things you can do for your overall well being, both mentally and physically! And I think that when looking for a relationship, most people ideally want someone who is in good physical health. Also not to discourage you or anything, but that "tea" thing sounds like a total gimmick to me lol.