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imbatshitcrazy
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02 Aug 2011, 7:31 pm

is it?



SuperTrouper
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02 Aug 2011, 7:37 pm

I do not have Asperger's, per se, but I am asexual.



MasterJedi
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02 Aug 2011, 7:59 pm

I have aspergers and I'm pretty pan.


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02 Aug 2011, 8:00 pm

In dealing with the social aspects of it, then yes.


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Ettina
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02 Aug 2011, 8:20 pm

It seems to be. Especially in aspie girls, for some reason. I'm not sure if there's an actual difference or if asexual aspie men are more likely to fake desire because of the stereotype that men are more sexual.

It's important to distinguish between asexuality and not having sex, by the way. Asexuality is not wanting sex - not feeling sexual desires. I know some asexuals who have had sex, either because they thought they might enjoy it, because they enjoy it for non-sexual reasons (eg being close to someone you care about) or as a favour to a person who's sexually attracted to them. And there are many people who want sex but either can't convince someone to have sex with them, or have chosen not to have sex for religious, health or other reasons.

In my case, I'm asexual and diagnosed PDD NOS (and a girl). As an experiment, I even tried rubbing my clitoris after reading that women find this sexually exciting, and it felt no different from touching any other body part. Ironically, as a 12 year old I used to think I was attracted to various boys, because no one had bothered explaining how wanting to befriend someone felt different from having a crush on them (nor did they even seem to think I could be gay, even though around 10% of the population is).



Callista
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02 Aug 2011, 8:26 pm

It's not directly related, really.

I mean, most autistic people aren't asexual. Most of us are straight/bi/gay/whatever and want romance and sex.

But asexuality is more common on the spectrum than off it; maybe as much as ten times more common (10% of the autistic population versus 1% of NTs).

I have to stress here that asexual just means "Does not want to have sex with other people." There's a lot of variety. Many asexuals want to have romantic, non-sexual relationships, probably with other asexuals. Many have physical sex drives that just don't point at other people. Quite a few are a great deal more open about sex than many straight people are, because of their experiences as asexuals. And of course there are the people who are somewhat asexual and identify as demisexual, or grey-A, which can mean things like "I have a really low sex drive, but I mightn't mind having sex once in a while," or, "I can only be sexually attracted to someone when I'm really, really in love with them," or, "I don't mind having sex because my partner enjoys it; but it wouldn't be something I'd seek out on my own."

As for me, yeah, I'm ace. I don't think it's particularly a big part of my life; but then I've never been pressured too hard to have sex. I guess if somebody had tried to pressure me into being sexual I might feel a little more strongly about it than "meh".


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jojobean
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02 Aug 2011, 8:57 pm

Is it possible to be married and both people be asexual? or are we just loners??


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Tuttle
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02 Aug 2011, 9:04 pm

Hey, demisexual. I hadn't heard that word before. That's me.

I've not seen any explicit studies about links, but my theory would be that there is a higher than average percentage of both asexuals and pansexuals among aspies.



Mindslave
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02 Aug 2011, 9:06 pm

I think asexuality in Asperger's is related to a sane person's likely reaction to a hypersexual society.



SammichEater
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02 Aug 2011, 9:11 pm

Ettina wrote:
It seems to be. Especially in aspie girls, for some reason. I'm not sure if there's an actual difference or if asexual aspie men are more likely to fake desire because of the stereotype that men are more sexual.

It's important to distinguish between asexuality and not having sex, by the way. Asexuality is not wanting sex - not feeling sexual desires. I know some asexuals who have had sex, either because they thought they might enjoy it, because they enjoy it for non-sexual reasons (eg being close to someone you care about) or as a favour to a person who's sexually attracted to them. And there are many people who want sex but either can't convince someone to have sex with them, or have chosen not to have sex for religious, health or other reasons.

In my case, I'm asexual and diagnosed PDD NOS (and a girl). As an experiment, I even tried rubbing my clitoris after reading that women find this sexually exciting, and it felt no different from touching any other body part. Ironically, as a 12 year old I used to think I was attracted to various boys, because no one had bothered explaining how wanting to befriend someone felt different from having a crush on them (nor did they even seem to think I could be gay, even though around 10% of the population is).


And I still don't understand that.

As for me personally, I don't know what I am. I can't seem to make sense of any of this.


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Callista
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02 Aug 2011, 9:19 pm

jojobean wrote:
Is it possible to be married and both people be asexual? or are we just loners??
Yup. That's called a platonic marriage and it's just as good as any other. When two asexuals get married, generally they will not have sex, and their primary intimacy will be emotional, affectionate, and intellectual. Sometimes they adopt kids as well.


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Last edited by Callista on 02 Aug 2011, 9:20 pm, edited 1 time in total.

jojobean
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02 Aug 2011, 9:20 pm

Callista wrote:
jojobean wrote:
Is it possible to be married and both people be asexual? or are we just loners??
Yup. That's called a platonic marriage and it's just as good as any other.


coool so there is hope!!


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Callista
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02 Aug 2011, 9:21 pm

Ever been to AVEN?

http://www.asexuality.org

They have info about asexuality, and a forum for asexuals to chat on.


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johnsmcjohn
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02 Aug 2011, 9:40 pm

I am unsure if it is, but I believe that since Aspies aren't as beholden to social pressure, they have less problems than NT's expressing their sexuality.



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02 Aug 2011, 9:46 pm

SammichEater wrote:
And I still don't understand that.

As for me personally, I don't know what I am. I can't seem to make sense of any of this.


It is different for some people and not for others. My boyfriend doesn't have a distinction between platonic love and romantic love.

On the other hand, they're completely different to me. I've had a crush (eventually, once I was 21), and it just feels entirely different than friendship to me. I don't know how to explain though.


For him, friendship is sufficient to have interest, for me friendship is necessary.