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Matt62
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26 Feb 2013, 7:56 pm

OK, I actually read several pages of this thread, before a reply.
I am definitely NOT asexual. I am a male, un-dxed at present but working on it, with definite signs & symptoms of HFA ( at present, read some of my biographical replies as to why this really means not a lot). But I am very awkward, shy, & have issues with understanding anything other than really BLATANT body language. It cost me some missed oppurtunities years ago. More than once & with more than one girl. I was often called "Gay", "Queer" and worse, though I usually rejected overtures made by males ( when I recognized them for what they were, which was not often enough, body lang issues again).
It has been frustrating, over the decades. I hve desires that come & go. I also tend to find visual images ( Porn) more stimulating than just thinking about the act.
On a final note, I did used to get annoyed that my best friend & a few others in my social circle (Hah!) thought about sex ALL THE TIME, EVERYWHERE in college.

Sincerely,
Matthew



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26 Feb 2013, 8:23 pm

nessa238 wrote:
Isn't it more the case that to a lot of the general population we might as well be asexual as they don't fancy us

ie we don't project gender-typical sexuality hence we get dismissed as we aren't easily categorised

ie 'Not sexual to me = not a sexual being'

this seems to be how the average person's mind works


That's not how it is for me. I am not interested in sex. This has nothing to do with how other people treat me and everything to do with the fact that I do not want to have sex with anyone.



nessa238
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26 Feb 2013, 8:43 pm

Verdandi wrote:
nessa238 wrote:
Isn't it more the case that to a lot of the general population we might as well be asexual as they don't fancy us

ie we don't project gender-typical sexuality hence we get dismissed as we aren't easily categorised

ie 'Not sexual to me = not a sexual being'

this seems to be how the average person's mind works


That's not how it is for me. I am not interested in sex. This has nothing to do with how other people treat me and everything to do with the fact that I do not want to have sex with anyone.


Do you never fancy people?



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26 Feb 2013, 9:30 pm

Personally what I've observed is that sexual preferences outside the norm seem to be more common with aspies and auties (norm in this case just being plain heterosexuality). Case in point, I'm aspie and gay and the only aspie/autie I know in real life is an ace. Plus a lot of the aspies/auties I know online also have sexual preferences outside the norm, a way higher percentage than the NTs that I know.


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26 Feb 2013, 10:01 pm

My explanation is that some of the the symptoms of Asperger's are similar to the features of asexuality.

Speaking about myself, I'm pretty sure that I'm heterosexual, because I do possess "primitive biological urges" and I notice that I am attracted to certain features of the female body... :roll:
On the other hand, my problems with physical contact are so bad that I'm not sure if I could ever enjoy sexual intimacy with anyone. But I don't think that this makes me asexual, because it's just Asperger's.



Aspinator
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27 Feb 2013, 12:40 am

I feel there is maybe a slight one. I feel most people who are asexual are that way because of necessity. It is easier to claim to be asexual that to say it has been years since you have been with someone.



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27 Feb 2013, 1:18 am

nessa238 wrote:

Do you never fancy people?


Yes, but I do not want to have sex with them. For a lot of reasons, I am not interested in sex.



RazorEddie
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28 Feb 2013, 5:51 am

Yuzu wrote:
In the documentary "(A)sexual", this girl who has asperger's claimed that "the number of people who have autism spectrum disorders on the asexuality message board is not anywhere near a proportional representation of the general population."
And they also said one study had been done looking at the association between asexuality and asperger's but they didn't say what the findings were.

If you visit an asexual site such as Aven you will find a lot of people with an AS dx or AS traits. For instance on Aven there is thread on the AQ test with a poll. Over 45% said they scored 31 or higher.

There have been a couple of studies that have mentioned a high incidence of asexuality. You can find them here and here


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nessa238
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28 Feb 2013, 5:53 am

Verdandi wrote:
nessa238 wrote:

Do you never fancy people?


Yes, but I do not want to have sex with them. For a lot of reasons, I am not interested in sex.


Can you say some of the reasons?

Is it due to an aversion to touch or an aversion to the sexual act itself or what it signifies?



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28 Feb 2013, 9:58 am

peaceloveerin wrote:
Does anyone feel asexual due to SSRI medications for anxiety and depression? I've heard they can lower your sex drive quite a bit, so maybe this is why I'm asexual but I honestly feel its the way I am by nature.


I'm not on them anymore, but I useed to be - and yes, I did notice a marked reduction in libido when I was taking them compared to when I wasn't.



nessa238
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28 Feb 2013, 10:04 am

Bustduster wrote:
peaceloveerin wrote:
Does anyone feel asexual due to SSRI medications for anxiety and depression? I've heard they can lower your sex drive quite a bit, so maybe this is why I'm asexual but I honestly feel its the way I am by nature.


I'm not on them anymore, but I useed to be - and yes, I did notice a marked reduction in libido when I was taking them compared to when I wasn't.


I have taken SSRI and am currently on an SNRI anti-depressant - Efexor and it has definitely decreased my libido. Lowering the dose or coming off the medication makes my libido go back to a more normal level.

Anti-depressants have a general emotional flattening effect so there are no major highs or lows. Orgasm is a major high hence it will be harder to get. You can still get one but takes longer and more effort and not as good as if not on the medication.
It's a trade-off in order to put a safety net in place so you don't get suicidally depressed.



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01 Mar 2013, 5:25 pm

nessa238 wrote:
Bustduster wrote:
peaceloveerin wrote:
Does anyone feel asexual due to SSRI medications for anxiety and depression? I've heard they can lower your sex drive quite a bit, so maybe this is why I'm asexual but I honestly feel its the way I am by nature.


I'm not on them anymore, but I useed to be - and yes, I did notice a marked reduction in libido when I was taking them compared to when I wasn't.


I have taken SSRI and am currently on an SNRI anti-depressant - Efexor and it has definitely decreased my libido. Lowering the dose or coming off the medication makes my libido go back to a more normal level.

Anti-depressants have a general emotional flattening effect so there are no major highs or lows. Orgasm is a major high hence it will be harder to get. You can still get one but takes longer and more effort and not as good as if not on the medication.
It's a trade-off in order to put a safety net in place so you don't get suicidally depressed.

I have definitely noticed this effect from SSRI's. I'm currently on Lexapro and it's by far the worst with lowering libido. In mid-afternoon, when the drug is in full effect(I take it in the morning), my orgasms don't feel pleasurable at all. But honestly, I'm happy to have a lower sex drive. Less jerking off means more time for other, more fulfilling things. :roll:

The dulling of good emotions is a much bigger concern to me. I'm not on SSRI's for depression. It's mostly for anxiety and OCD issues.



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01 Mar 2013, 5:41 pm

nessa238 wrote:
Verdandi wrote:
nessa238 wrote:

Do you never fancy people?


Yes, but I do not want to have sex with them. For a lot of reasons, I am not interested in sex.


Can you say some of the reasons?

Is it due to an aversion to touch or an aversion to the sexual act itself or what it signifies?

For me personally it is due to an inability to connect to people. I don't see other people as 'hot' and I have no desire for a relationship. In my life I have only ever had one crush and that was over 25 years ago. As far as sex without any emotional connection - meh, what's the point? It is pretty much just mutual masturbation and that is more sanitary and safer on your own.


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Verdandi
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01 Mar 2013, 6:25 pm

nessa238 wrote:

Can you say some of the reasons?

Is it due to an aversion to touch or an aversion to the sexual act itself or what it signifies?


A big part of it is that I do not like to be touched, I do not like being warm, and I especially do not like prolonged touch. I am okay with cuddling for brief periods of time for example, but the longer I do it the more likely I am to have a meltdown.

I also do not feel any particular attachment toward the idea of having sex. It's not something that strikes me as appealing or interesting when I think about it. I am not averse to relationships, but the idea of sex just turns me off.

I can say that my relationship with my abusive ex probably had an impact there. I do not know that being asexual is because of autism or other things, I just know it's not something I particularly want to do. There are other things I do like which are often associated with sex but do not themselves require sex. And after those, while I am still not interested, I find touch easier to tolerate and am more amenable to it. That only lasts for a day or so, however.



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02 Mar 2013, 2:20 am

Does sexuality deal specifically with one's preference for intercourse? Because I am asexual in that I am both disinterested in sex, and in having a romantic relationship of any kind with either sex; it's just too much pressure and I know I'd be no good at it.


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02 Mar 2013, 4:32 am

StarTrekker wrote:
Does sexuality deal specifically with one's preference for intercourse? Because I am asexual in that I am both disinterested in sex, and in having a romantic relationship of any kind with either sex; it's just too much pressure and I know I'd be no good at it.

Asexuality is defined as a lack of sexual attraction to anyone. In practice asexuals tend to fall into one of two broad groups, those who desire a romantic partner but no sex and those who are uninterested in romance. It looks like you would be an aromantic asexual, like me.


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