Naive Advice Given To You During Therapy

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Have you ever gotten advice during therapy, that was naive to the point of ridiculousness?

I was in therapy during my early to mid teens. To give credit where it's due, my therapist was, for the most part, good. She gave me some very useful insight on things, and her client-centered approach gave me an opportunity to just plain ramble about my obsessions. I also had to memorize "correct" answers to her questions about feelings and well as dodge questions about family, but all in all, talking about my obsessions made therapy worth my while.

However, some of her advice sounded so naive, that it made an aspie kindergartener looked like a jaded old man in comparison. First example: I told her how lonely I was without friends, and how badly I wanted a pet. She told me to sit my parents down and explain how a pet could help me. So I did. They yelled at me how they will NEVER buy a dog or cat, and walked out of the room, leaving me crying on the bed. Highly ironically, a few therapy sessions later, they relented, and after a few weeks of me walking on eggshells (or as my parents put it, "being a good person"), they bought me a guinea pig.

Second example: I told her how whenever my parents took me to museums, they always flat-out refused to buy lunch. When I insisted, they'd yell at me how I'm too whiny to wait for a nutritious meal at home, and spent the rest of the trip harping at me. She told me to negotiate with them: agree to be good and not demand anything if they agree to eat a light lunch at the museum. I smiled and nodded, but brushed it all off in my mind. Did she really think it was going to work? This became a non-issue after my parents started letting me travel to museums by myself. I just took enough allowance money with me, and bought lunch.

Third example: I told her how I wanted to find a girlfriend. She told me something like: "you might have to wait until college until you find one, but she's going to be a really great one". That one didn't seem naive at the time, but fast-forward 6 years. The college part came true; I didn't date in high school. However, in college, the first girl who showed interest in me wasn't great; I felt no attraction to her. Going against my better judgment, I started dating her anyway; after all, what choice did I have? Things fell apart pretty quickly, before things got to as little as kissing. So much for "girlfriend in college". My first real girlfriend was 2 years after college.

So, what do you think? I'll give my therapist the benefit of doubt, since it probably never entered her mind that parents could be that strict. And I didn't share the whole truth, because I was afraid she'd ask me how I feel about it, which I wouldn't know how to answer "correctly".

I had a counselor who all but told me that anyone hugging anyone they're not in a relationship with means that they'll be accused of sexual assault...

Said counselor later told me that the people I thought of as my friends weren't really my friends because they didn't have time to drive two hours to visit me after work, while I was complaining about being lonely. While I can understand the importance of making sure people have appropriate views of friendship, telling people that nobody cares about them while they are trying not to freak out about lonely doesn't seem the appropriate thing to do.

I've had a lot of bad advice about friendships - from "just go out and meet people", to more complex suggestions.

I also definitely had issues when I had a counselor suggest to me that I should be on anxiety medication because my dad thought I had generalized anxiety because he has generalized anxiety.

Of the people I've seen, one of them was really good, one of them was good but I can understand why she wasn't right for me, one of them was terrible, and one of them was bad for me but she was the one who recognized that and suggested I see a specialist who knows ASDs (which led to my self-diagnosis and eventually my official diagnosis).

Wow this brings me back a few years, I had started seeing a therapist as a 13 yr old for my family troubles and she suggested something rather inane, I cant remember whether she contradicted herself or said the same thing twice after I had disproved it the first time. I found it so funny I just burst out laughing and, despite how offended the therapist looked, I just couldn't stop. I feel really guilty about that now but it was just so hilarious I couldn't help myself.

Not sure if you find that funny I certainly did

I do

Never tell a therapist that mental heath professionals are more screwed up than those they serve.

When I said that to the college counelor, She nutted up so bad that I swore she started speaking in tongues. I thought her head was about to spin around while spewing pea soup.

Only thing I can think of is my school counselor telling me my parents have problems too, aspie traits they have and that my brothers have the traits too since they spend most of their time on the computer too and watching TV and playing video games and the fact they spent weeks downloading music (we didn't have DSL then so it took weeks and weeks for a song to download) and he told me that is not how people spend their spare time at home; doing the same things over and over for long periods of time. I stopped taking my parents seriously and started telling them it's not me, it's them.

He also told me that I think I have to follow the rules but I don't because that is called being flexible. So I started to break them and that caused problems for everyone around me.

He also told me the reason why I do things like pace is because my dad does it. My mom says that is BS and I do it because I'm me and my dad does it because he is dad.

Mom sure never wanted me to see him again. He even thought I was incapable too of learning and thought my mom was wasting her money on me going to another therapist, a professional.

AyyyeyyyyEYE! Where do I even start? . . .
You know what? It's quicker if I instead list the things my therapists have said that were NOT naive to the point of ridiculous.
... which include ... um ... hmmmmmmm ... this could take a while. I'll let you know when I think of something.

Yes, that's fantastic advice. Way to go if you want to add even more to the stereotype of autistics being cold and impersonal, which is already felt amongst the general population anyway.

It's not about the hug, it's about the context and the kind of hug that is being given, along with any touch. Hugging a random stranger totally unexpectedly and groping her breasts on a train = fairly easily defined as assault. Comforting a female friend who needs a hug is just that.

And I tell you that anyone saying that means that they'll be accused of being a miserably stuck-up misanthropic square. ... 'cuz they are.

One therapist told me that the reason I was having trouble finishing my tests on time was because I was afraid to go outside and play.

I told one therapist that my wrist splint felt restrictive and gave me anxiety. He told me, "You go back to the hospital and we'll get you set up with a full-arm-cast."
(I would've cut the damn thing off, but still, I'm not going to pay for one.)

But this one takes the cake:

My father was a professional classical guitar virtuoso, until he got focal dystonia in his right index finger which ruined his career.
His therapist told him it was all in his head—that he couldn't use his hand because he was afraid of performing!
If I ever find that doctor, I'll to knock him down, and while he's lying on the ground, I'll say, "It's all in your head. You just fell down because you were afraid of standing up."

An unwanted hug could be a sexual assault, technically. I don't think you'd be criminally prosecuted for that alone in most circumstances, but it could easily be a violation of - say - a workplace sexual harrassment policy.

Basicaly I was told I obsessed about my obsessions too much and that I needed to "widen my horizons". I was also basicaly told it was my fault I was being bullied. Mostly they just asked me questions.

Yeah, context is important, but saying its always a problem is just problematic. It came up specifically because of the comforting a friend case - My boyfriend was comforting a female friend who explicitly asked for it, stuff only barely related to that went out of hand, and rumors were spread about him which were really bothering me. I had brought up that because I had no idea how to deal with the rumors, and it turned into anyone touching anyone they aren't dating is innately wrong because they'll be accused of sexual assault...

I was asked if I had thought of "moving to another country where it would not be a problem"! I did seriously consider that wherever they do not diagnose AS must be a place where it is not a problem, and perhaps there is such a place with a nice climate ...

I was told to read books on making small talk and that my social difficulties were more likely brain damage from hitting my head as a child than ASD. I suspect this person may have had autistic kids and thought that I was faking AS for some reason, I hadn't been formally diagnosed then and I didn't go back to that counsellor after that.

I guess if you can't control your anger , you can still become a riot police and beat the s**t out of peaceful protestors.
And if you can't control your sadness , you can still become a therapist and give asinine advice to people that never even worked on yourself.
Now is strange.

Most recent:
my psych told me to drink alcohol as a solution to anxiety/panic attacks,
knowing or atleast she should know that i have a drinking problem as I have told her....

Switching psychs...last straw in this straw house.