Surviving High School

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My first day of high school is tomorrow, and boy am i anxious! Im so worried about nearly everything! Not as much about academics, as i have always excelled in that area, but mostly about social life. I am so worried about bullying, and not understanding social cues and such as well as if ill be able to finish tests and remember homework. Any tips, personal stories, or whatever you have to say is greatly appreciated!

High school can be a very difficult time. I'm going to assume that you attended a brick and mortar middle school. Did you receive any special ed/ were you in a special school for autistics? The transition is going to be difficult. All the other students will be older than you. Freshmen are not regarded highly. I, as a self diagnosed autist (high functioning classic autism), can vouch that socializing becomes even more difficult in high school. If you're lucky you'll meet new people. If you're not, I really don't know what to say. High school might be the greatest time of your life or it might be a living hell.

The best advice that I can give is don't give up. If you keep talking to new people, which can be torturous at times, you will find at least one friend. And then you'll become friends with some of their friends, etc.

Best of luck.

High School is one of the last times in your life where you’re put in a situation where everyone is ostensibly at the same level. That’s not to say that it’s the same for everyone in practice, but everyone is kind of on equal footing in the sense that they’re supposed to have a fair shot at getting good grades and doing well. That’s one reason why people keep talking about it later in life, and why there are so many shows involving teenagers on television; everyone can relate to it on some level. By the time people get to college, it’s all about what school you’re in and what your major is . . . and after that people are socially differentiated by their financial and familial circumstances.

For most people, bullying is a minor issue. The majority of people balance out their social lives and responsibilities in such a way as to remain inconspicuous. It’s important to remember that four years is a long time. Roughly speaking, I spent the first two years of high school focused on my own interests instead of other people, and then I spent the last two years pushing myself socially. In retrospect, I’m glad I went through both sides of things. The important part, I would say, is to try to balance those things out in a way that is satisfying to you.

The best advice I can give to anyone who is nervous about starting out at a new school would be to get yourself involved with extracurricular activities. You'll meet so many different people, and you'll get to go on fun field trips. I was pretty socially awkward in high school, but probably the fondest memories I have of high school would be the clubs I was in and the fun activities we did therein.

Thanks so much for all the advice! And feel free to keep adding on! The bus is pulling up and its off to high school! Thanks again!

I still have a few more days. Stupid school system.

Enjoy it while you can; college is no fun.

I tracked down a thread from last year, where I posted useful tips for high school students. There are quite a few of them, so I'll post only the most useful subset.

1. Always Assume You're Being Watched
You might feel like reciting lines from the theme song of your favorite TV show as you're walking down the hall. Don't. People will see you do it, and will remember you as "that crazy kid who constantly sings". Or you might want to try out some hand gesture trick you read in a science book. Again, don't. As innocuous as it may seem to you, other kids will be quick to judge you, due to lacking maturity and/or understanding that you're just trying something from a book. If you're an adult, people will just dismiss those actions as "whatever", but in high school, they will be used against you. And given how prolific NT friend-making capabilities are, the reputation of "that kid who always does weird things" will spread like wildfire.

2. If You Feel Like You're Being Pranked, You Definitely Are
Let's say someone asks you "Are you [some word you never heard before]?". Get out of answering that question. Say something like "why, it's not like you give a damn about me", "that's a strange question", or whatever your best judgment tell you, but whatever you do, DO NOT give a direct yes/no answer. Most likely, it'll be the wrong one, and will be remembered and used against you. There's nothing wrong with coming out and saying "bullsh*t!" with a smirk when someone is clearly trying mess with you in a mean way. Or if you're confused if they're being mean or funny, you can say "are you actually serious?" with a look of doubt.

2A. If You Feel Like You're Being Pranked, You Definitely Are
This is a corollary. Let's say someone asks you to do something. You get a hunch that something is a little off. Then it definitely is, and not just a little. Far more likely than not, you're right, and going along with it will result in humiliation. So refuse to do it. There's no need to talk in a "cool" or clever way. Plain old stubbornness will work just fine. Keep refusing no matter how much they ask you, no matter what they say, even "we're not laughing at you". You can ask: "what's wrong with doing it yourself?" If you hear "we want you to do it", then it's a given that they're setting you up, in which case, again, just refuse do anything they tell you.

3. If You Think Something You'll Say is Funny, Think Again
Supposedly you want to say something funny in front of a group of people. Think about all the things that can go badly: maybe the statement is too intelligent for people you're dealing with, maybe your tone of voice won't match the joke (common problem for aspies), maybe they don't want to hear a joke, maybe they'll pretend not to understand it just to trip you up, maybe they'll turn it against you, or maybe the joke just will be out of context. Even if there's a 0.1% chance of something going wrong, don't say anything. NTs know extremely well how correct their blunders, but for the rest of us, it's best to avoid them entirely, for obvious reasons.

4. Don't Go to Dances
School dances may be places to see and be seen for NT students, but for aspies, they're just asking for trouble. Popular kids often go to those, which may result in some unpleasant consequences for you, and that goes double if you come with a new date (if you get one). They care if their friends go, but they won't think any higher of you if you show up, and in fact, might use that to raise their own status (read: by lowering yours). You, in turn, won't miss out on much. If someone asks you, just say: "I didn't go, and you can't blame me for it; I went with my date to [name of some place where popular kids don't go] instead."

5. Go to Cultural Events at Your School
Your school's art and/or music department may have plays, concerts, and other shows. Go to those. Your school's ethnic organizations may host shows as well. They generally attract artsy/quirky types who are friendly or at least tolerant toward aspies, which means you won't be bullied when you go. And at the minimum, you'll at least have some nice things to remember from high school, even if these will be the only ones.

6. When Students Ask You if You've been Doing Drugs, Always Respond with "I Wish"
Your tone of voice should be a mix of snarkiness and dark humor. This way, you're sending important messages: you show that you can take a joke (if the question so intended), you acknowledge that other people may use drugs for fun, and you're essentially saying no. I didn't learn this until I got to college, but people responded really well when I answered their drug questions in this manner. Among older or smarter students, you can add a quick explanation to having redness in eyes, like "wind in my eyes" or "dry air in the building".

7. Remember That School Officials Are Generally Not Your Friends
Don't talk about anything with a school official that you don't want used against you "for your own good". This includes counselors and psychologists. Feel free to share about you academic troubles, difficulties with time management, or how you're being bullied. But don't discuss eating disorders, sex, self-harm, suicidal thoughts, or anything that sets off moral panics. Go to a free clinic or a hospital not affiliated with your school for those. I was smart enough not to discuss anything with my counselor except advice on which classes to register for, which is why I came out with a clean record, despite being bullied left and right.

I'll share a bit of my experience here.

Highschool can be really cool... No, I'm not talking about classes or anything that involves homework or mindless studying.
I have noticed that people get interested on me when I work on the stuff I like to do, such as making music or drawing. If you show your passion, others will notice sooner or later and you might get to know cool people this way.

I usually don't pay attention to grades because that's something which is secondary. You won't study, get to school, work on your grades for your entire life. Focus on the things which make you excited, interested, passionate, and you'll attract anyone who gets an interest on that.

When you show your passion, you are showing something which is part of yourself. Cool people enjoy individuality and integrity above anything else.

My classmates and teachers have noticed my passion for music production. Since then, they show me signs of interest, such as "Make more music, dude!" or "Wow man, this sample is awesome!". One of the teachers even suggested me a music course, and I think it would be awesome.

You open doors of perception and new life paths when you feel passionate about something. So if you feel that something is right for you, definitely go for it.

And that's how I survive High School