I just went for it.......

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....I don't really know many neighbors, and I live in college housing apartments. For a couple of weeks, I have heard the nextdoor neighbors partying, and I decided to knock on their door and say Hi.

It was a pretty awkward time. They were playing some beer pong games, and a few were friendly, but most didnt really seem so. but other than that I just felt really really out of place.

I don't really feel that nervous anymore. I used to have much worse anxiety, but now its just this feeling I can't shake, I feel so out of place. It was there all of growing up, especially in high school. It was there when I started college 6 years ago, and it is still there now.

The interactions that are going on, its just all on another level. Now granted this is just 19-20s drinking beer olds, but still.

I just can't shake that feeling of being completely out of place. I am not one of them, no matter how many beers I drink, or however many games of beer pong.

I have always felt out of place my whole life, and I have to really believe that it ISNT a coincidence right? There has to be something to it.

The only reason I believe Im half-way accepted into just knocking on someones house or other awkward moments, is that I look normal. If I looked weird, I guarantee I wouldn't be able to get away with doing that.

I mean I just can't explain it. It seems as though once you are new at a scene/house/party/social event, you have a narrow window of opportunity to establish yourself as a "the dude". If not, your not going to be kicked out, but your not going to really exist. I don't know.

Hi Lightening020, is that actually the kind of social scene you would enjoy? Do you really want to hang out with those guys, or do you just feel you need to try and be social? I'm just curious. Do you have any particular interests or hobbies where you could hook up with like-minded people and perhaps not feel so out of place?

Do you have any particular interests? What do you like to talk about? Joining an interest group is a good way to meet people, for example a book club, a chess club, a film group. Or take a class in something - dance, yoga, tennis, a foreign language. Or volunteer in your local community. Which city do you live in? Perhaps check out the website meetup.com Once you get to know some people you click with, then you can start suggesting social meet ups to fill in your weekend calendar.

24 is still very young, most people are just starting out in their lives at your age. I seriously had no clue about anything when I was your age, people described me as "lost" (I'm 32 now and still only have a tiny bit of a clue). You need to find your passion, and don't get distracted by what society constantly tells you you should be like. It sounds cliche and it is much easier said than done, but it is true. I have AS, and I spent most of my 20s trying to fit in with all kinds of groups, probably about a million of them, and was described as "lost", not knowing who the hell I was. In the end *who you are* is about focusing on your passion, not about your social group. If you have one or two friends who understand and support you, that is all you need. In truth nobody really needs more than one friend, as long as they are a good friend. If you haven't got one don't worry, the person will come into your life one day. Just focus on being amazing at who you are, find your passion and focus on it.

First step is to change that negative thought pattern. You are in college - this is a great achievement. Most people don't get that far. Be proud of that and make the most of it. You need to erase the words "getting nowhere" from your vocabulary. Loneliness is very, very common - it is not just you. The world is full of lonely people. Some of the people whom I love and respect have hardly any friends (AS has something to do with it). I am the "sole friend" for at least two people, and they are brilliant people. Some people appear to have a big social circle, but inside they are lonely and depressed. Nobody worthwhile is going to judge you negatively for being lonely. There is, absolutely without question, a lonely soul (or two or three) out there who would love to connect with you. First you need to change the negative thought pattern into a positive one. You're young, in college and obviously a smart guy.

I've found that exercise is an incredibly effective way of getting out of a depressive rut. Take up a sport or join the gym. Get your heart rate up two or three times a week. Seriously, when I do regular exercise myself it makes ten worlds of difference. It changes the chemistry of your brain and it is literally impossible not to feel better. I want you to do this. Try and eat healthy and also avoid food with too many additives because these can trigger depression too.

totally understandable that you dont feel at home in such beer-drinking situations, but a very great achievement of you to try and mingle uninvited; that is something i still have trouble with, even after learning how to handle almost every other social situation (with mixed success), initiation a conversation or simular is still out of my skillset...

Why would anyone want to go to college to socialize? $100,000 a blasted year and, instead of studying as they should, people waste their time with drinking and carnality. What the heck? What an incredible waste. If your goal is socialization with random strangers, it's better for you not to go to college.