I suck at meeting girls or a girlfriend.

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hi I'm new to this site. I 21 and I have asperger's, I live in the dorms at my school. I'm good at school but when it comes to meet girl, I might as well be six years old. I never had a girlfriend. my social skill need some help.

You've described most of the site there, not just yourself.

Welcome in!

You must have seen

http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt174973.html

Buck up bro, everything is okay 21 is still very young and you have your whole life ahead of you. You said your social skills need some help. Duh! this entire site needs help in social skills. Anyhow I would suggest you start slowly, focusing on one goal at a time. First improve your social skills, perhaps you should take social skills classes, read books about those things or go see a shrink/social worker. If it helped me, and others aspies too it sure can help you. Just be yourself, and even if you don't seem to get a GF focus on other areas in life, develop your hobbies and make more friends, study, see the world, work out. Even if you don't seem to get a GF that doesn't mean you should be depressed about it, sit at home and do nothing with your life. You live once, go have fun doing what you like. As someone also said in this forum, if you live interesting life you might as well meet a lot of interesting people and might as well meet your future lady!

I've met plenty of girlfriends, but none of them were mine.

I've met a lot of girls. Some are even my best friends, though the only thing I have trouble with is telling one that I have feelings.

Only skanky ho's seem interested in me

Ha ha thanks for making me laugh on this otherwise depressing day.

Dude, are you ever happy? Your online name may be somewhat self fulfilling? Why not

Occasionally SadAspy?

Maybe you have this thing for bringing others down that drives them off?

No.



Because I'm always pissed.



They brought me down first.

I'm going through the same thing sadaspy. Hope the best for you.

Don't go around looking for a girlfriend its usually something that just happens.
I have a feeling your a good looking guy that's very intelligent in a few areas and you deserve a beautiful lady to please you.
good luck bro.

So what's your reason for bringing down, and being downright insulting toward, people on this board who've done nothing but try to help you? People who can understand, better than anyone else at least, what you're going through.

I know you're coming from a mindset of terrible hurt and lonlieness. I truly am not trying to make you feel worse right now.

Believe it or not, there are a lot of people here who have felt the way you feel. I'm one of them. And some of us are proof that things can get better. But you have to be willing to put in the effort, and a change in attitude is the first step.

animefan; I'd recommend that you just go up and talk to as many girls as possible. I know it's hard. I know it's scary (god, is it ever). And I know how bad it hurts when you fail (but really, if a girl rejects you, you can always just never talk to her again). But you will get better at it with practice. Sometimes that progress is almost imperceptible, but it does happen. And even if it takes ten years of constant trying in order to find one girl who is interested, that's better than still being alone ten years from now.

I still feel like I'm six years old when I talk to girls. Even my own girlfriend. But some (fairly few, but they are out there) find our awkwardness endearing.

What help? You mean women and white knights telling me I have a bad attitude? That's help? The only way to help my situation is to improve my looks or social status. It's not that easy to do....pop positivity isn't going to work



Again...are you for real?

When my life got better, it wasn't because my looks and social status changed. It's because my attitude did.

I doubt that you are as unattracive as you think you are. But, even if you are, I've seen some pretty fugly dudes (with no money to boot) end up with some amazing women.

You're clearly an intelligent person, and capable of expressing yourself very eloquently in writing, I don't know how good you are at it in person (that wasn't meant as a jab at you, I'm much better at getting my thoughts out on paper than I am at speaking). Your descriptions of your emotions brought back very clearly a lot of the negativity that I used to feel.

These are both qualities that women find attractive. Not all women, some really are as obsessed with superficial BS as you think they are, but you don't need every woman to like you in order to find a partner. I'm sure that if I spent time with you in person, I could find more worthwhile qualities.

You need to find those traits within yourself. Start playing them up around other people.

I'm not trying to feed you a bunch of "pop positivity" garbage. The positivity comes later. The change I talk about is changing from your current attitude of "Everyone hates me, so I'm just not going to try anymore" to one of "If things are as bad as I think they are, then I've got nothing to lose by trying to make it better."

It'll be hard. It'll be frightening. You'll have to step out of your comfort zone, and you'll have to habituate yourself to negative responses from negative people. And even once you've found someone to share your life with, you'll still have to make yourself vulnerable.

You don't have to miss out on all the best parts of life. We're not handed those things like some people are, but that doesn't mean that we can't go out and fight to get them for ourselves. I hope you find the courage to do so. Good luck.

Whether I have them or not, I really don't think women are attracted to these qualities. They always pick the dumb jock over the well-educated guy, unless the latter has something else going for him (i.e. back to looks and money).



I can accept that, but I still haven't found even ONE that liked me. I've looked in real life and on-line.