Correlation between liking anime and being dateless

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AsteroidNap
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21 Sep 2011, 9:25 pm

DeanAdamFry wrote:

O stop with this "geek" non-sense, what is it with people and their need to "group" a bunch of people?

Anyway to me yes I like anime but I also love playing sports and love going to theme parks, I also like to game and do anything that's exciting or fun, the men who usually complain about not getting a date is usually the men that have very few interests and are not willing to put in effort into getting women.

Anime does not = Geek like playing Sports does not = Alpha Male, it depends on the person themselves and grouping yourself to a group of people isn't going to help you in that regard, being an emo or a chav or whatever is quite childish in itself and it shows weakness, I scare other men & women because I can walk alone and be happy while they can't even take a step out of their group without feeling the need to cling to each other like leeches.

At the end of the day, if you want that woman/man then you need the balls (confidence) to be able to stand on your own two feet.

Sorry, but grouping people can be a useful shorthand way of identifying those with similar interests. Yes, one can become even more specific within the category. But as an initial social filter, it helps. If three groups on campus advertise a party, one Greek, one Geek, and as 'a bunch of people', which group am I more likely to find people I want to hang out with (being a self-described geek myself)?

But I do agree with the larger implication of your point...namely, in the end it comes down to individuals.

SadAspy
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22 Sep 2011, 12:31 am

spongy wrote:

Are you sure that they just want alpha jocks or does this mean that they rejected to go out with you therefore they must be evil and shallow. Im studying to become an IT and I get to see several geeky girls everyday and I can assure you that each of this girls has a geeky boyfriend, sometimes I wonder how did some guy get a girlfriend and find out that he is dating a classmate or something.

Are you for real? I mean, I expect the women to say these lies, but a man? C'mon dude....I spent six years in college, was a TA, was involved in groups, and I assure you that geeky girls want alpha jocks just like any other women.

Are you really in Spain? Maybe things are different in Europe...I have no idea. In America, at least, things are terrible for non-alpha men.

spongy
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22 Sep 2011, 1:13 am

SadAspy wrote:

spongy wrote:

Im for real.
I see several geeky girls daily and they have socially awkward/geeky/overweight partners. Havent been to the US so I cant comment on how is the situation over there.
edit_ yes Im really in spain and I´ll be here until I finish my degree(plan on trying to find work abroad asap).

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SadAspy
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22 Sep 2011, 1:17 am

Guess I really need to move to Europe then....

blue_bean
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22 Sep 2011, 3:28 am

Anime is probably seen as an immature interest by some women.

hale_bopp
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22 Sep 2011, 5:40 am

SadAspy wrote:

In America, at least, things are terrible for non-alpha men.

I know so many Americans, and none of them are "alpha". Some are married, a lot have had GFs, many are aspies.

If you don't like where you live, then move. Quit complaining and take action.

AsteroidNap
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22 Sep 2011, 6:24 am

SadAspy wrote:

spongy wrote:

Well, as someone who was also a college TA in an American college, who has gone to numerous geeky/nerdy type conventions, who participates in geeky activities, I can ASSURE you that geeky girls do fall for geeky/nerdy guys. Moreover, non-geeky girls fall for nerdy/geeky guys too.

So after witnessing this behavior over perhaps ten years or so, seeing girls hook up with guys who were very similar to me, I eventually came to the conclusion that there was something I was doing wrong. That's when the odyssey of my self-investigation and self-improvement began. It led to my diagnosis, which has offered enormous insight into the things I need to work on.

Iza
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17 Oct 2011, 10:04 pm

There is ONE thing I think is more destructive to dating than anime...being a History buff...or Political Junkie...aka: me.

ruckus
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17 Oct 2011, 10:45 pm

The correlation with Asperger's and an obsession with anime, video games and fantasy novels is strange to me. I wish our obsessive tendencies would have us all turn to something a little more productive.

Chronos
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18 Oct 2011, 12:50 am

hale_bopp wrote:

Because it seems to be the case.

Anyone deg to biffer?

I agree. The same used to go for liking Star Trek. I think it comes down to the fact that people who consider anime or Star Trek one of there foremost interests don't get out of the house much (except for conventions and maybe a renaissance fair or two). It's generally a couch hobby.

Mikelight
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18 Oct 2011, 3:36 am

Personally I find the anime lovers I know to be generally dateless but of course there are also exceptions. The problem is when people spend all their time on video games or anime, I understand being introverted. I once spent 6 months living alone and not leaving the house for anything but work and groceries but that sort of life is unhealthy. Lead a balanced life, get out sometimes, meet up with friends and go on roadtrips.

I like a few anime shows but I'm certainly not a "lover" of anime, if you talk about that sort of thing too much you can really alienate people. Heck even my good friends can sometimes alienate me with their constant talk of anime. Pick up a few interests and do some new things, you're bound to meet people (possibly even women) while enjoying your new pursuits.

If you're really concerned about getting dates because of your nerdy activity then it's time to make a change in your life. Personally I have one day reserved totally for my gaming needs, I go running every other day to keep in shape, I usually go out to a lounge or bar once a week, and I've tried to educate myself on a broad range of topics so I always have something to talk about.

The main thing is to not be afraid of people and to not be afraid of rejection. I took a 7 month time period to go out 3 nights a week and socialize to really really learn about socialization, Whether by a group of people or by just females, i ended up rejected a lot. That's ok though because I was using those people as a science experiment, determining what works and what doesn't. Over time I've built up enough human mannerisms and expressiveness to interact well with nearly everyone. I don't go out as much as I used to but knowing how to socialize makes it so that even with my gaming habits and unbridled nerdiness I can still get dates.

No need to be an "alpha jock" just know yourself and be a confident "alpha nerd".

Beauty_pact
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18 Oct 2011, 7:00 pm

bigcoop wrote:

If anime is a passion of yours, I've seen a bit of groups on meetup.com which are centered on it. If one were to live in Japan, I do not think this would be an issue lol. I like anime, I just don't have the time to devote to be a huge fan.

Otakus are generally considered to be almost sub-human, in Japan, so that is unfortunately not correct. This is also why otakus now are being targeted in Japan, with a new anti-anime and -manga law, that will kill the anime industry - because who cares about them? Otakus, maybe.

I think people in general find those into anime to be "childish". Surely, grown-ups shouldn't like "cartoons"? That means they are emotionally undeveloped, right?

So yes, I do think that there is a correlation. And that correlation too often relates to the poor judgements and bullyish attitudes of the general populace.

Beauty_pact
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18 Oct 2011, 7:20 pm

nick007 wrote:

CaptainTrips222 wrote:

TeaEarlGreyHot wrote:

CaptainTrips222 wrote:

Gifted-Monster wrote:

Try and find conventions and go to 'em. If you can find a girl that loves anime, games or sci-fi books or even tentacle porn as much as you do, she's the one.

Most geek girls are so immature and maladjusted, theres not a chance in hell the relationship would be meaningful. Even another geek guy might feel like he's baby sitting her.

*crosses CaptainTrips222 off dateable list*

I'd rather someone I end up with not think I'm immature and maladjusted just because my interests are classified as 'geeky'.

I said MOST, not YOU. And I unapologetically do mean most.

READ ---> It's someone's personality that makes them immature and maladjusted, not their interests, but I'm going to be blunt- most of the hardcore fan girls are just too childish to deal with. They also often behave inappropriately. If you go around with kitty ears laughing at the top of your voice, arguing heatedly about which final fantasy character is better than another, by all means, cross me off! I'm not amused by it. Maybe it's just me, but that kinda behavior is best left to early grade school. To boot, a lot are extremely self absorbed, to the point of being rude. They're also usually cliquey and standoffish, and don't let you in their life unless you're as developmentally arrested as they are.

And it's not really an elitist thing- it's that I can't have a serious conversation with people like that. I've tried, and in a lot of cases, it's literally all they like to do and talk about. I just can't take someone seriously who's that out of touch with life. I've tutored junior high students who are more grounded than that. And I'm not so naive that I think it wouldn't somehow impact the relationship. I'm almost thirty, and I have no desire to be friends with people who act like third graders.

I have to take something back, though. It's not just geek girls, it's hard core geeks in general that behave like that. I was in an Otaku club at my college, and it was the girls who were the really obnoxious ones, but now that I think about it I have seen a fair share of geek guys who act like that too. Just in that particular situation the guys were a little easier to talk to, and more still and quiet.

That sounds really cute & kind of funny to me

So it does to me, too...

...But I guess that just means I am "developmentally arrested". Thank god for being that, though... if that is part of the reason for me maybe being alone for the rest of my life, then so be it.

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