what do I do?

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...this isn't really about dating, but here it is anyways.....

f**k its a friday night....I have 1 friend in another city.

I feel so lonely and desperate and paranoid......

I just want to be with a group of people and really share a connection.....

......every day I am by myself, I get more and more alone, and how am I supposed to get out there all alone on a friday or saturday night?

I tried going to a few bars by myself, I tried going to a few school shows even though I am not in school....I just feel so f*****g left out. I mean my life has always been like this, BUT NOW it is REALLY HITTING me across the head.

this is nightmare........this feels like a f*****g nightmare. I would rather be getting stabbed to death than feel what I am feeling.......

tempted to call my parents, but I feel so weak and it feels like a wasted effort...........

......I really hate to say this I really hate to say this.....but I keep thinking about suicide more and more

I dont feel there is a single soul out there besides you guys who understand

You know, as an Aspie, it's very very difficult for me to find NTs who are willing to dine with me, so I usually dine alone. I used to feel very upset with myself cos I understand that most NTs disapprove of lone diners, but I feel happier now. My secret? Focus on my food, not on the diners around me. If you focus more on what you're doing rather than how those around you will judge you, um, maybe you won't feel so lonely.

I go out alone often to stave off the lonely depression at home. You need to talk to people at the pub or wherever you go. Find a local and become regular, you will meet the other regulars and they will accept you for who you are. If you decide to stay home, call your local helpline, the operators are friendly and there for you. Chin up.

Been through that. Couldn't find someone to go to the movies I like so I went to the matinee by myself. Or especially to the Indie movies I couldn't get my boring coworkers interested in.

Anyway I do think there is this weird pressure on people regarding socializing and status. I don't think people should be hard on themselves for their situation.

But that isn't all of it. Of course there is this natural desire to communicate and connect that seems to not workout. It can be very puzzling and confusing. That's fine but just saying we should be careful not to let that cause an almost disproportionate amount of anguish.

Dude, there are groups you can meet people at. In my city there are in-person AS and Autism support groups where you can meet people that live near you who understand. and there are most definitely groups for people who feel like giving up on life. Yeah it's awkward and uncomfortable at first, but everyone else will feel that way too. Emotions are temporary and unreliable. No matter what you're feeling it will eventually pass.

Thinking and worrying about the future is healthy, but if it consumes so much of your time and energy that it keeps you from focusing on what you can do in the moment to get help then it becomes self-fullfilling. I get caught up in thinking about the future too, and worrying about if Im going to die alone. Which is ridiculous because there is no point in worrying about 10, 20, 50+ years into the future. So much can happen in the course of 1 year.. let alone decades. Our lives have barely begun, we have so much time to figure this out and learn how to function in society and mostly to be happy with life.

You are gonna have plenty of fun and happy moments in the future. Even when I'm at my worst depression I know that at some point a computer or video game will be developed that is awesome enough to make me happy. What things make you happy?

Anyway I think you could benefit from some breathing techniques. It's the only thing that can get rid of my anxiety and depression.

Breathe in through your nose slowly for 10 seconds (breathe into your stomach not your chest), hold the breath for 5 seconds, then exhale through your mouth for 10 seconds. And repeat for 5 minutes. This tricks your brain into thinking something is wrong and it releases endorphins that makes you feel good physically and mentally, it's like a rush, and gives you a buzz. Lay on your back when you do this. You can build it up longer than 10 and 5 seconds.. like 20 and 10 seconds.

Go put on some good music and do that for 10 minutes, you will feel awesome I guarantee.

sorry was trying to post a thread...