Help! I'm being bullied at school!

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That's skillful. For you are in fact engaging in low-key negotiation with the teacher.

This is similar to my method of "the pre-formal report."

And you want to trust your gut instincts (like in playing poker, trust and develop your gut, but it's not a hundred percent) regarding which teacher or principal or coach or parent or even an outside authority like a minister or scout master is likely to be helpful.

And if they come up with reasons why they can't be helpful, just graciously thank them and leave. Do not get into a debate.

And sometimes fighting is the way to handle it.

I like the idea of tight, defensive boxing to a draw, because you're not trying to embarrass or humiliate someone you're likely to see again, which is not a strategic move. In fact, I wish this whole thing was understood a lot more for international relations.

You want quick fast jabs and blows, keeping your balance. And quick fast blocks keeping your balance. A quick jab to the nose is a good feint or distraction. A short, hard upward blow to the rib cage is the money shot. That can sometimes knock out someone's wind, that is, incapacitate without really injuring. Again, keep your balance. Any one punch may or may not work.

Take a step back. Say, "it's over."

Now, winning a fight is heady stuff. Don't brag. And don't let someone else brag on your behalf. Maybe just say, "I'm sorry we ended up fighting." And leave it at that. Don't overexplain, which we aspies, or speaking for myself, which I am very likely to do.

It's amazing what you can learn from three private lessons and then practicing stuff on your own.

Note: Works against someone your own size. And one against one. And doesn't always work even then. An actual fist fight with fast blows, of course there's going to be a lot of luck. Again, prefer to walk away from a fight if you reasonable can. But sometimes a person cannot.

So, imagine meeting with a private instructor in your area two or three times a week for a couple of months. Yes, you can learn a lot. Please don't take a bunch of blows to the head during train, preserve brain health. Football helmets don't really protect, and presumably neither does boxing headgear. (I took some private lessons in Spring 2005, unfortunately hurt my hand and didn't go to a doctor and have it immobilized soon enough. I practiced on my whole in a gym with a boxing bag in 2008, and yes, I feel I have learnt a lot.)

Yes, a person can do marital arts, but I kind of recommend boxing, at least to start with. It's quicker to get up to the 'pretty good' or 'good enough' level.

Now, a little bit the attitude you might want to project pre-fight, like a James Coburn cowboy character, you want to go a few rounds, we can go a few rounds, no big deal.

Tight, defensive boxing to a draw. One week.
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And the zen of it all, if one is prepared with even modest training, it is then less likely to happen.

And, as I think a good boxing instructor will advise, walk away from a fight if you reasonably can.

And for safety, walk toward a crowd or walk toward other people.

Learning to resolve conflicts with your words is exceedingly more valuable than with your fists. But being someone's punching bag isn't right either. You need to confide in someone you trust, and allow them to assist you. That's the only way it's going to end for good. Chances are you're not going to "win them over", but your best bet is to have someone advocate on your behalf and get them to stop on pain of detention.

Another piece of advice is to find a group of friends, and stick with them. If you're lonely at school, look out for clubs and other events. Especially for someone with Asperger's, an organised setting with a specific theme should be fairly simple to navigate. Beating the blokes up, in my experience, will only serve to isolate you more. Anyone decent will be unnerved around someone who's been known to beat people up. The movie scenes where the triumphant bullied boy is surrounded by all his newly-won-over schoolmates after beating up the bully doesn't normally happen.

But, in the end, time heals all wounds. I was bullied when I was younger, and by the time I graduated (when we were all much more mature), I was quite cordial with everyone, including my former bullies.

Good luck, mate!

Agent-BlueMan, sorry to hear what is happening to you. What you describe sounds like the typical day for me when I was in school. It was really miserable and I feel for you.

I understand that. When I was a kid I was really uncoordinated and clumsy and all of my bullies were much bigger than me and outnumbered me. The few times I tried to fight back I was pathetically unsuccessful and ended up getting bullied even worse. I even took Karate classes for a year and that didn't help. I was just too small and uncoordinated to be able to effectively fend off a gang of bullies all bigger than me and all attacking me at once.

The best "defensive strategy" that I could come up with was too try to avoid situations where bullies could get me alone. Sometimes I was successful and sometimes not.

Just keep in mind that school doesn't last forever and before you know it you will have graduated and won't have to deal with those people anymore.

The only thing I could figure out to do when I got bullied in school was to stay home. Eventually I had to go to family court and got sent away. The school never did anything about the bullying even when they knew about it. I wish I could have been home schooled.